Family
by ciaddict
Summary: Sequel to Rebuilding. Continuing story of Annie and Bobby. Will also introduce Mike Logan and a new OC.
1. Chapter 1

FAMILY

**FAMILY**

_Author's note: I do not own any Law and Order Criminal Intent characters, nor do I own any characters from Law and Order who might show up. Dick Wolf, of course, owns them and has done quite well by them._

I do own the other characters in this story: Annie, the children, Grandpa, and various other people (named and unnamed). They inhabit my imagination where they live out their lives trying to fit into the LOCI universe. This story goes back into the past and plays the "what if" game. What if Bobby was married and had a family? So here is a warning: There will be some necessary changes to canon in order to fit Annie and the kids into Bobby's life, creating a parallel LOCI universe. If you are not OK with that, you won't like this story (or any future installments) and I completely understand if you pass.  


_This story takes place during season 3 and will introduce Mike Logan (who is still assigned to Staten Island) and a new OC, Sarah Johnson._

**Chapter 1**

Annie Paine sat on the bed watching her husband get ready for work. She laughed as he tried, and failed, for the third time to knot his tie. It was something he did almost every day and usually he could do it in his sleep. But this morning he was definitely having difficulty. Annie got up and walked across the room to where he stood in front of the mirror over their dark oak dresser.

"Here, let me help," she said, tying it for him. She slipped the silver tie clip in place and ran her hand down the blue and black striped tie. "You're nervous," she teased.

"Maybe a little," he admitted. "I just wish Captain Deakins would let me work without a partner until Eames comes back."

"Robert Goren, NYPD Major Case Squad detective…..afraid of a little girl?"

Bobby looked down at her grinning face for a moment, then suddenly tickled her and backed her against the wall. Annie squealed and tried to squirm away, but he leaned his body against hers as he covered her mouth with his.

"I'm not afraid of _this _littlegirl," he whispered in her ear. He released her and went to the closet to pull out his jacket.

"Is it really all that bad to have a temporary partner? Eames will be there for the first few weeks anyway, right?"

She watched him appreciatively as he shrugged into the jacket.

"That's just it—she's temporary. By the time we figure out how to work together, she'll leave."

Annie sighed as she leaned back against the wall, watching him and thinking about how much she appreciated Alex Eames. Bobby seemed more centered since joining the Major Case Squad. During his time in uniform, he had gone through several partners. No one really disliked him or working with him. But his conversations were hard to follow as he jumped from topic to topic, driving around the city. And it was obvious to everyone that he had no intention of remaining in uniform for long. Investigation was what he had trained for in the Army and it was what he loved. He used his time on the street to add to his arsenal of knowledge of human behavior. He conversed with everyone he could; suspects that they arrested, victims they took reports from, husbands and wives disturbing neighbors with their fights, teenagers hanging out on street corners, storekeepers or people walking down the street. He questioned them about their lives, their families, their neighborhood. His partners found it boring and useless, he found it fascinating and stimulating.

When he became a detective and moved into Narcotics, his understanding of people was an asset. Annie hadn't liked his time in Narcotics, although she never told him. He had done well there, but it was a frustrating time for him. He felt he was fighting against the tide; as many arrests as he made, there were always more drug dealers, more drug addicts, more drugs on the streets. Undercover work had suited him; it turned out that he was a good actor. Although he had a partner and a team for backup, he was on his own when he was undercover. He liked being in charge of the operations and he liked being left alone to do what he did well; mingle and assimilate with the people he was gathering information on. While he was good at what he did and had the reputation to go with it, it was difficult for him to keep a partner. They felt that Bobby treated them as part of his team, but not as a real partner. In his four years in Narcotics, he ran four undercover operations, each with a different partner.

When he was offered the transfer to Major Case, he had accepted eagerly. Here he would be able to put his profiling skills to work. The first few months with Alex as his partner had been rocky. She was the senior partner and was not about to follow him around and take orders. Despite the fact that he had always had partners, he had gotten used to working on his own since he was undercover so often. Discussing a case with someone else on a day to day, moment to moment, basis was difficult for him to adjust to. Explaining his leaps of logic was frustrating for him and he felt it slowed him down. Alex didn't always know where he was going when interviewing witnesses or suspects and it threw him off balance to have to explain it to her. Bobby liked his new captain, Jimmy Deakins, but often felt restrained by Deakins' insistence on "covering the basics." But slowly, Bobby seemed to settle in and she saw the difference in him as he and Alex adjusted to one another.

Although Alex didn't have the background in profiling that Bobby did, she was also good at reading people. As she began to understand her partner, she learned to trust him. Annie didn't really know for sure what Alex thought of Bobby in the beginning; she never talked about it. When Annie had asked to meet his new partner, he told her time and again that Alex had some reason for not getting together with them. It was a good six months before Alex had agreed to meet them for drinks. As the two women gradually became friends, Alex didn't discuss how she felt about Bobby in those first months and Annie didn't ask. She just appreciated that he was happy and enthused about his work; the cases and the criminals challenged his intellect while the victims tugged at his heart.

She knew that Alex's maternity leave would be difficult for him, even without the stress of adjusting to a new partner. At least Alex would still be in the office for a while before going on leave. Annie hoped that would help him ease into the temporary partnership. She smiled at him now, admiring how he looked in his black suit, the blue shirt picking up the blue in the tie. After eleven years of marriage, her heart still fluttered at the sight of him. She prayed that would never change. She walked over to him and ran her finger across the silver tie clip. He leaned down and kissed her good bye. As he reached the door, she called his name softly and he turned to look at her.

"Play nice with the new kid today, and share your toys," she said with a smile.

"Eames doesn't make me share my toys," he replied with a mock frown.

"Well, if you play nice and share I'll have a surprise for you when you get home tonight."

He smiled slowly and let his eyes rove suggestively over her body before winking and slipping out the door. Annie smiled and went to make see if the children were ready for school.

She was in the kitchen preparing dinner when he got home that night, and the children were in the backyard playing with the dog. He kissed her and leaned against the counter as she cut up vegetables for the salad, stealing a slice of carrot.

"So how did it go?" she asked.

He shrugged and tossed the carrot in his mouth. "OK, I guess."

"What is Detective Bishop like?"

He shrugged again. "Young, red hair. She seems eager to get to work on a case. But…"

"But what?"

"She….watches me."

"Watches you?"

"Yeah, like…I don't know…like she's trying to read my thoughts. Her desk is behind mine and I can feel her watching me. I went over a couple of the open cases Eames and I are working on and she looked at me as much as she looked at the files."

"She's probably nervous and she probably wants to take advantage of this assignment to learn what she can from you. You have a reputation for being brilliant….and different."

"I do? Where did you hear that?"

"Hey, Alex isn't the only cop I know. I have my sources," she laughed. "So, did you play nice?"

He smiled at her and folded his arms. "I played nice."

"Did you share your toys?"

"I shared my toys."

"Well, then….after the kids go to bed, I'll give you your surprise."

Bobby moved to stand behind her. He leaned down to kiss her neck while his hands roamed over her body, making it very difficult to slice radishes. He whispered in her ear, "And what is my surprise?"

"If I tell you that, it won't be a surprise."

"Think the kids are ready for bed?"

Annie giggled and turned to wrap her arms around his neck. She pulled him down and kissed him deeply. Then she put her hands on his chest and pushed him away.

"Dinner's almost done. Go call the kids to come and wash up. And be patient."

Annie loved this time of day. Dinner time in the Goren household was truly a "Father Knows Best" or "Donna Reed" type event. They sat together at the table eating, talking, and laughing. Usually they all worked together to clean up afterwards. It was something she had deliberately cultivated, knowing that mealtimes had been unpredictable and often filled with drama for Bobby as a child. She leaned her cheek on her hand and watched Bobby laughing at a story the twins were telling him. It occurred to her that not only did Bobby's childhood color the way he saw the world, it also colored her own efforts to provide him with the stability he never had as a child.

After the children were in bed, Bobby put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into their bedroom. He pushed her back against the door and slipped his hands under her shirt while he whispered in her ear, "So where's my surprise?"

Annie giggled and held his face between her hands. She pulled him down for a long, deep kiss as his hands touched her bare skin and sent chills through her.

"Go sit on the bed," she whispered.

He smiled down at her and went to do as she said. He watched her as she went to the closet and pulled something from the back. When she turned around with a gift-wrapped box, his surprise showed on his face. This wasn't what he had been expecting. She sat down on the other side of the bed and placed the box in the middle.

"What's this?"

"It's a _surprise._ Open it."

He chuckled with delight as he reached for the box and began to tear the wrapping off. He pulled the last of the paper off to reveal a box with a picture of a red Ferrari on it. She had gotten him a model of a 1962 Ferrari GTO. It was the same car that Bobby had been so excited to have been able to sit in a few months earlier. That same night he also told her about how much he wanted to build model cars when he was a child. But the one time he had saved up his money to buy a model of a Bel Aire and had spent hours putting it together, his mother destroyed it during one of her "episodes".

Bobby was silent as he ran his fingers over the picture of the car. He looked up at her somberly and she wondered if this had been a mistake. Maybe it brought back too many painful memories. He reached over and ran his thumb across her cheek. He smiled at her and pulled her head to him and gently kissed her.

"Thank you," he whispered. He picked up the box and the paper and set them on the table next to the bed. Then he lay down and pulled Annie down to lay next to him with his arm around her, running his fingers through her long blond hair. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled her scent.

"You know," he said huskily, "you can't wipe away my childhood and the things my parents did."

She reached up and put her hand against his cheek. "I know," she whispered back. "I just want to make you happy now."

Bobby rolled over to look into her eyes. As he leaned down to kiss her he said softly, "You do, Babe, you do."

**End chapter 1**


	2. Chapter 2

FAMILY

**FAMILY**

**Chapter 2**

_This chapter is set during the episode "Sound Bodies"_

Over the next few weeks, Bobby was distracted, both at home and, according to Alex, at work. He brought case files home every night and went over them long into the night. When she asked, he said that he was getting along "fine" with Bishop. But Annie knew that losing the easy rhythm he had with Alex was interfering with his concentration. Alex was still in the office, bored with sitting at her desk. She tried to help where she could, but she told Annie at their weekly gym and dinner date (Alex mostly walked on the treadmill these days) that she didn't want Bishop to think she was taking over. And, she said, Bobby needed to learn to work with Bishop since Alex would be going on maternity leave soon and would no longer be there as a buffer.

Annie was as understanding as she could be, but she felt helpless in this situation. All she could do was continue to pray for him. As she had always done, she told Bobby that she wanted to meet his new partner. But he told her that Detective Lynn Bishop had made it clear that she did not want to meet his wife since they were only temporary partners.

Things between Bobby and Bishop seemed to improve when they caught a poisoning case on Channel Island. Their investigation led to the discovery of sex parties among the teenagers on the island. Bobby told Annie that he and Bishop were working well together on the case. When he needed to explore an attic at a dog kennel, he said that Bishop had caught on quickly and distracted the teenage girl caring for the dogs. He felt that they were finally beginning to understand each other's methods.

Cases that involved children were always hard for Bobby and this was no exception. As it began to look like the poisonings had been perpetrated by three teenage girls on the order of a teenage boy, Bobby became increasingly moody and uncommunicative. But when one of the girls attempted suicide, also under orders from the boy, he came to bed early and held her close as he talked long into the night about how these girls could be so easily manipulated.

Annie was busy planning Ally's birthday party, which was to be a tea party. She sewed an apron for each girl who would attend, with their names embroidered on the front. They would wear the aprons and help to bake the cookies for the tea party. She also searched thrift shops for "dress-up" clothes. She knew that Bobby wasn't in the mood for party talk, but he had agreed to be the "waiter" for the tea party. Their next door neighbors were Rob and Janey, and Rob's brother owned an upscale restaurant. Surprisingly, they had a waiter's tux that would fit Bobby, and Annie was able to borrow it.

A few days before the party, Annie went down to Bobby's basement office after the children were in bed. Bobby was at his desk, going over a case file. Annie ran her hand over his treadmill and checked the magazine on the stand—"Criminology Law Review". She walked over to the leather couch and sat down. She folded her legs underneath her and watched him silently. He continued to read for a few minutes, then he leaned back in his chair and turned to face her.

"Can I help you," he asked, smiling.

"I didn't want to disturb you," she said.

Bobby grinned and folded his arms across his chest. "Yes you did."

"Well, OK. Yes I did," she laughed. "It's just that Ally's birthday party is coming up this weekend."

"And I understand you have my tux all arranged."

"Yep, you are gonna be a well-dressed waiter. Everything is taken care of…"

"And?"

"I just thought…I mean, it would be nice….if your….mother…could….come."

A frown replaced his smile and Annie resisted the urge to go run her fingers over the wrinkles on his forehead to smooth them away. Bobby unfolded his arms and leaned forward to rest his forearms on his knees.

"My mother? You want my mother to come?" She nodded without answering. "Why?"

"I just think it would be…nice. It's been a long time since she came here, or went anywhere, really. She's been doing well. And Ally would love to have her Grandma here."

"And you think it will help her to stop being mad at me for Frank being arrested."

"Maybe." Annie didn't look at him as she traced designs on the warm brown leather. "And it occurred to me….that….she….well…that she missed a lot while you and Frank were growing up." She looked up at him. "I know that she did some terrible things and that you and Frank don't have very many happy memories. But, Bobby, neither does she. She was sick and couldn't help at least some of the things that happened. And she missed out on creating happy memories for you. She missed out on birthday parties and big family Thanksgivings and the wonder in her kids' eyes when they saw their stockings on Christmas morning. Those things are as precious to a parent as they are to a child, and she missed them."

Bobby rested his chin on his fist and stared at her thoughtfully for few moments. Finally he smiled at her and said, "You really _are_ a Pollyanna, aren't you?"

Annie grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at him. Bobby caught it before it made contact with his head and laughed at her.

"Maybe I am, but what's so bad about that? Pollyanna looked for the good in every situation and in every person. And it brought out the good in people. I don't see what's so unrealistic about that."

"OK," he sighed. "I'll go pick her up that morning and take her back after the party. _If_ she's having a good day. But if she starts acting up, she's out of here."

"Understood," Annie agreed. "You look tired. And frustrated. Do you want to talk about it?"

Bobby leaned back in the chair and sighed. "I don't think even Pollyanna can find anything good in this mess," he said motioning to the papers and photos on his desk.

"The poisoning case?" she asked.

"You know, Ally's going to be ten in a few days. Before we know it, she'll be dating. How do we protect her from this?"

He got up and started to pace, running his hand through his hair and across the back of his neck. Annie stayed on the couch and kept silent while he went on.

"It's these kids, all these kids. Channel Island isn't a very big community, but there are thirty-five kids involved in these sex parties. And those are just the ones the Health Department knows about. Who knows how many others there are." He stopped pacing for a moment and looked at Annie. "These kids….most of them come from good homes; their parents weren't abusive or negligent. A lot of them grew up in church. So how did so many kids get pulled into something like this? And how did these three girls get pulled into something worse—not just sex, but committing murder? Nature can't explain it; this many kids in such a small group can't just be 'wired' that way." He began pacing again. "So if it's not nature and it's not nurture, what is it? How do we protect our kids?"

"Do our best and cross our fingers?"

Bobby stopped and frowned at her, then sat down heavily in his chair. "So you're saying there's nothing we can do? I can't accept that."

"Well, I guess you can cross your fingers; I've got prayer." She grinned at him, but he didn't smile back. She sighed. "I'm sorry, Babe, I don't mean to make light of it. I just don't have any satisfactory answers. The Bible says: _'Train____a child in the way he should go,_ _and when he is old he will not turn from it.'_ But it doesn't say what will happen between the time you 'train' the child and the time he is 'old'. For me, and for any parent who believes in God, that's when you rely on prayer; that God will protect them and guide them to make wise decisions."

"And parents who don't believe in God just have to cross their fingers?" He smiled sadly at her. "I don't think I can trust either prayer or crossed fingers. I want my kids to be safe."

"Look at you and your brother. You grew up in the same home, with the same parents, with the same problems, and you turned out vastly differently. What explains that?"

"I don't think we turned out so differently," Bobby said softly.

Annie frowned. "What are you talking about? Frank has literally thrown away everything for his addictions. You have a family, a home, a career."

"And that's what I'm talking about; addictions. Frank is addicted to gambling, to drugs, to alcohol; anything that will take away the pain and the memories. But I've got addictions, too. Just different ones." He waved his arm to include his desk and bookshelves. "I'm addicted to knowledge, to finding answers, to understanding why people do the things they do, to controlling my environment. Frank and I, we both have addictions; they're just different addictions."

"OK," Annie nodded. "So I'm going to sound like a broken record, but it comes down to choices, doesn't it? You and Frank made different choices. He chose behaviors that would temporarily mask a childhood he doesn't want to deal with, and those behaviors became addictions. You chose behaviors that would help you understand that same childhood, and they became addictions for you. But your addictions allow you to function and to contribute to the world. Frank's just make him a drain on everyone around him."

"And how do we ensure our kids make the right choices?"

"We do exactly what we are doing. We love them, we talk to them, we provide them with a safe environment, we model the good choices we want them to make…and then we trust them."

"And cross our fingers?" He smiled at her.

"And cross our fingers," she laughed. Then more soberly, "We should also probably spend some time considering what we will do if it does happen. What if one of our kids becomes sexually active? What if they become involved with drugs? What if Ally tells us she's pregnant when she's fifteen?"

He smiled sadly and said, "I think my head might explode."

She nodded and returned his smile as she got up from the couch. "It's getting late, are you coming to bed?"

"Soon," he said as he turned back to the case file on his desk.

Annie walked to the stairs and turned before going up. "Just don't stay down here too long. I want to show you some things that Pollyanna would _never_ do." As he turned his chair so he could see her, she lifted her shirt and flashed him before turning and running up the stairs. She could hear his laughter as she went out and closed the basement door.

The morning of the birthday party was clear and warm. Ally was in a state of excitement from the moment she woke up. She danced through the house, chattering incessantly, eating very little. After breakfast Bobby and the twins left for Carmel Ridge to pick up Frances.

Janey arrived to help with the party. Alex had wanted to come and help but one of her nephews was also having a birthday party that day. They finished decorating as Bobby returned with his mother. Seeing the glow on her face made Annie happy that they had included her in this day. Bobby took Phillip and Andrew next door where they would be staying with Rob and his sons. When he got back he went upstairs to put on the tux. Annie sent Ally to her room to change into her party dress and went into her bedroom to check on Bobby.

The sight of him in the tux caused her to stop and catch her breath. Once again she was overwhelmed by how handsome her husband was. The white shirt and black jacket showed his muscular chest and arms and narrow waist to full advantage, as well as his dark curly hair and brown eyes. She closed the door and leaned back against it, her eyes roving over him.

"I…um…think that I don't have to return the tux until tomorrow or the next day," she said softly.

He smiled at her and went to stand in front of her. He put his hands on the door on either side of her head and leaned his face close to hers without touching her.

"So, do you think you might need someone to…serve…you later tonight?"

"Uh huh," she whispered.

Just before his lips touched hers, there was a loud knock on the door.

"Mommy!" came Ally's voice. "Zip me up!"

Bobby smiled and pulled away. "We can finish this later," he said.

Annie sighed in disappointment and watched him walk away. The knocking came again, more insistent. "Mommy!"

She went out and zipped up Ally's dress and went downstairs. She went to the kitchen to find Janey and Frances having a cup of coffee before the guests arrived. She sat down with them and relaxed until the first little girl arrived. Bobby the waiter opened the door and welcomed the little girls with a British accent that made them giggle. As each one arrived he led her into the living room and took her gift with a flourish and put them on the table Annie had set up for that purpose.

Once they had all arrived, they played a few games with them. Then Annie handed out the aprons she had made for each girl, including Janey, Frances, and herself. They all exclaimed over their names embroidered across the bib. The girls all trooped into the kitchen and had fun rolling out the cookie dough that Annie had made the night before and cutting out figures. Once the cookies had been cut out and were ready to bake, and the girls had all been cleaned up, Frances and Janey took them in the backyard for a few more games. Annie finished baking the cookies and helped Bobby set the small folding tables with paper table covers and mis-matched thrift-shop teapots, cups, saucers, and small plates. When they were finished, Annie admired how pretty the total effect was.

With the cookies cooling on the counters, Bobby went outside and, in his best British butler's voice, announced that tea was served. The girls trooped in and washed their hands. They giggled as they waited while the "butler" seated each one of them, pulling out their chairs for them. Bobby then served the tea and cookies. Annie, Frances, and Janey kept the cookies, tea, and juice (for those who didn't want tea) coming as the girls devoured them. Annie saw Frances leaning against the wall, watching Bobby with the giggly little girls. She went and stood next to her and watched with her.

"Bobby's a good father," Frances said with wonder in her voice.

"Yes he is," agreed Annie.

Frances looked at her for a moment, then asked, "And is he a good husband?"

"The best," smiled Annie.

Frances watched her son lean down and kiss his daughter on the cheek as he served her tea. She sighed and pushed away from the wall. She smiled at Annie and went to the kitchen to wash dishes. Annie stood where she was and watched Bobby for a few more minutes, smiling as he spoke to each little girl and left her blushing and laughing.

After the tea and cookies it was time for the presents to be opened, exclaimed over, and the giver thanked profusely. At last the party was over and the parents began arriving. The British butler saw each girl to the door and presented her with a small bag of party favors and the apron that Annie had made. After the girls were all gone, Bobby helped Ally carry her presents to her room and went to change out of the tux. The women cleaned the kitchen, took down the decorations, and folded up the tables and chairs.

Annie walked next door with Janey to pick up the twins. She hugged Janey and thanked her for her help. Janey told her that she was welcome and reminded her that she would be helping with her son's birthday party the next month. Back at the house, the twins ran upstairs so that Ally could show them her presents. Annie sat down with Frances for some tea and cookies of their own.

"I'm glad that Bobby seems so happy," Frances said. "I worried about him when he was growing up. He was never as studious as Frank was, never got the kind of grades that Frank did."

"Mm…hmm," Annie murmured noncommittally.

"But, I think that the Army was good for Bobby, don't you think?"

"Yes," Annie agreed. "Yes, I do."

Frances reached over and patted Annie's hand. "I think you've been good for him, too," she said softly.

"I hope so," said Annie. "Because I know he's been good for me."

Frances rested her chin in her hand. "I know Frank would be a good father. If he could just find someone and settle down, maybe he wouldn't have so many problems."

There were things Annie wanted to say. She wanted to tell her mother-in-law that marrying her wasn't the reason Bobby was successful. She wanted to tell her that the lack of "a good woman" wasn't the reason Frank had problems. She wanted to tell her that each of her sons had made choices in their lives that had led them to where they were now. But Annie didn't answer; she just poured some more tea, knowing that arguing was useless.

All three children wanted to go with Bobby to take Frances back to Carmel Ridge. Bobby said that he would stop and feed them dinner on the way home. While they were gone Annie finished cleaning up and took a long hot bath.

After baths and bedtime prayers, the children fell asleep quickly. Annie went downstairs to let the dog in the house for the night. She turned off the lights as she headed back upstairs to their bedroom. As she went in and closed the door she realized that only one small lamp on Bobby's side of the bed was on, leaving the room bathed in a soft light. She smiled as she saw Bobby standing in the middle of the room dressed in the tux and holding a serving tray in one hand.

"Excuse me Madam," he said with a British accent. "I believe you requested a bedtime treat?"

As he held the tray so that she could see what it held, she giggled. Sitting on the tray were a bowl of whipped cream, a small platter of strawberries, and his handcuffs.

"Indeed I did, Jeeves. Indeed I did. And this treat looks very…intriguing."

**End Chapter 2**


	3. Chapter 3

FAMILY

**FAMILY**

**Chapter 3**

_We will take a short break from Bobby and Annie to spend some time with Mike Logan and a new character. This is still season 3, so of course Logan is still in exile on Staten Island. This story will run concurrently with the Bobby and Annie story. At the moment I have three chapters planned for Logan in this current story, and he will be showing up in future stories as well. I hope you are a Logan fan, as I am. I've loved him since the original first aired and he was the reason I began to watch LOCI. _

_All the usual disclaimers apply. Mike Logan, sadly, belongs to Dick Wolf and not me. Sarah Johnson, on the other hand, is all mine. _

Sarah Johnson was contemplating murder. Not just any murder, this would need to be the perfect murder. She would need to be able to commit the murder in such a way that there would be no clues to lead back to her, since she really didn't think that she would like prison very much. It would also need to be a painful and gruesome death.

Her intended victim was a coworker who had committed an egregious wrong against her. So egregious that Sarah thought it was likely that a jury would acquit her if they knew the details. But of course she wasn't going to take any chances with a jury. No, she would have to be careful not to leave any clues. Although it was important that her coworker know that it was Sarah who was responsible for her painful and gruesome death.

She considered her options. A gun would be too quick and painless. A knife was a little more up close and personal than Sarah cared to get. Poison had much better possibilities. Poison that would take a few hours to work and would slowly eat from the inside. Yes, that had possibilities. Maybe she could research that tomorrow. Slow and painful. Her victim would have plenty of time to realize that it was Sarah who had done this thing to her and to contemplate her own actions that had brought her to this slow, painful death.

As slow and painful as this date had become. Sarah looked across the small table at the very drunk man who was still talking on and on about his Ferrari. He hadn't noticed that Sarah hadn't said a word in the last thirty minutes. She had to admit that the Ferrari was lovely and when he had arrived at Peter J's to meet her earlier that evening (Was it only that evening? It seemed as though she had been listening to him drone on for at least three days), she had actually been thrilled to ride in it.

Her coworker, Penny, had set her up on this blind date (or as it would be known in the future—The Blind Date From Hell). Penny assured Sarah that this man was handsome, interesting, and that he was a very successful investment banker. Handsome he certainly was. Almost too handsome, with his blond hair, blue eyes, and chiseled features. He looked like a model from the cover of a romance novel. Even his name was from a romance novel. Derek. Derek the rich, handsome, Ferrari-driving hero. Except that Penny had exaggerated just a bit about him being interesting. Interesting he was not. All he had talked about all evening had been his expensive car, his expensive apartment, his expensive paintings, his expensive vacation to Europe, and other expensive things that Sarah had lost track of. After attending a gallery opening, where Sarah had been embarrassed by the volume of his voice and the obnoxiousness of his comments about various paintings and sculptures as well as by his obvious growing intoxication, they had returned to Peter J's where he had proceeded to become completely and sloppily drunk.

So as he rambled on in his drunken stupor, Sarah sat and amused herself with thoughts of Penny's very painful murder.

Mike Logan sat at the bar, nursing his glass of Scotch. He was watching a couple sitting at a table across the room. "Couple" might be a rather loose term to describe them, he thought. The woman looked like she would rather be anywhere else than sitting with the drunk at her table. Mike had seen the man in Peter J's on occasion. He was usually drunk, usually bragging about his car, and usually looking for a woman to take home. He didn't seem to have a problem finding someone eager to ride in his Ferrari, but the woman with him tonight was clearly not eager for anything having to do with him. They were already seated when Mike came in an hour ago and he hadn't seen the woman say more than a few words. In fact he didn't think she had said anything at all in at least the last thirty minutes. She seemed to have given up any pretense of listening to him; she was staring off into space with a small smile. Mike was intrigued by that smile and wondered what she was thinking about.

The woman wasn't any great beauty, but she was pretty. Her hair was dark brown with a bit of wave to it and pulled up in a soft twist. Her eyes were also dark brown. Her skin was a dark shade that a lot of women spent hours in a tanning salon to achieve, but he suspected hers was natural. He hadn't seen her stand, but he thought she was tall. She was a few pounds overweight, but certainly not fat. She was wearing a soft blue dress made out of some kind of clingy material. It wasn't tight, but clung to her and just showed the outlines of her curves. He had only seen that slight, distracted smile but he wondered idly if her face lit up when she smiled for real. Then Mike looked at his drink and wondered if he was getting a little blitzed to be daydreaming about a complete stranger.

She must have decided she'd had enough of tall, blond, and drunk over there. Mike watched as she looked at her watch, leaned forward to smile and say something to him (and he noted that this was also not a smile that lit up her face), and reach into her purse for her keys. The man shook his head and reached for her arm but she stood quickly, said something else, and moved away as she headed for the door. The man got up and followed her, weaving a bit as he made his way through the bar.

Mike watched as they went out the door. Then he impulsively swallowed the last of his Scotch, tossed some money on the bar, and got up to follow them. Outside he saw them standing off to one side and Mike backed up into the shadows to watch them. It occurred to him that she _was_ tall. He was guessing five foot eight, and with the heels she was wearing she was about two inches taller.

Sarah had decided enough was enough. The date was obviously over, Derek was only going to get drunker and more obnoxious, and she had run out of ideas for how to torture Penny when she went to work the next day. She looked at her watch and leaned slightly forward as she pulled her keys from her purse.

"Derek, it's been a….lovely….evening. But it's getting late and I have to work tomorrow, so I really should be getting home."

"But I wanted to show you my paintings in my apartment," he said as he reached to grab her arm.

Sarah pulled her arm away and stood up. "I really do have to be going. Thank you for the evening." She walked away and Derek got up to follow her.

Outside the bar she turned to walk to her car but turned back when Derek said, "OK, fine. Just thought you might like another ride in the Ferrari." He pulled his keys out of his pocket and jingled them before turning towards his car.

Sarah paused a moment. She was tempted to just get in her car and leave. But she hated to leave Derek to drive in his condition. She followed him to his car.

"You know, Derek, you probably shouldn't be driving. Why don't you leave the car here and we'll get you a cab?"

Derek snorted. "Leave _this_ car out here on the street all night? Sure, why not put a sign on it that says 'Free Car'? C'mon, I'm fine to drive. Let's go back to my place." He turned to unlock the door.

"Really, Derek, you shouldn't drive. Tell you what, I'll drive you home and come up to look at your paintings, OK?" She thought that if she could get him to his building she could leave him with the doorman to get him to his apartment.

But Derek shook his head and laughed as the door beeped that it was unlocked. He opened the passenger door and made sweeping gesture with his hand, which caused him to lose his balance and nearly fall over. Sarah knew she should just walk away, but she felt responsible for making sure he got home safely and did not get behind the wheel of that car.

She moved close to him, with her body almost against his, and said in what she hoped was a seductive voice, "I've always wanted to drive one of these things. Could I drive us to your apartment? I would really, really be grateful."

She reached for his keys as she smiled up at him. Suddenly, moving faster than she thought possible in his drunken state, Derek grabbed her wrist. He turned her around and twisted her arm behind her back and shoved her against the car. He leaned his body against her, pinning her to the car and said in a menacing voice, "Nobody drives my freaking car. Nobody!" And he twisted her arm until she cried out in pain.

Suddenly he released her and his body was no longer against hers. She heard him yelp in pain and heard the keys hit the ground. Sarah turned around and saw Derek sitting on the ground, back against the building, and his head slumped on his chest. He didn't move and she thought he must have passed out. Standing between her and Derek was a tall man with dark hair.

"Are you hurt?" he asked her.

She realized she was staring at him with her mouth open. She closed her mouth and rubbed her wrist where Derek had grabbed her.

"I…I'm OK," she said. "Thank you."

The man said sarcastically, "I think he's just a bit too attached to his car."

She smiled at him. "Yes, I believe he is. Well…" she looked at Derek still on the ground. "I guess I should call him a cab and send him home."

The man picked up Derek's keys from the sidewalk where they had fallen.

"Yeah….you could do that. But, ya know….Derek here may be drunk on his ass, but he did have a point. Leaving that car here on the street all night is just an invitation to some enterprising thief."

"What would you suggest I do?"

He jingled the keys and grinned at her. "We could just pour him into a cab and drive it to his place for him."

"I'm not getting into that car with a total stranger!"

He laughed. "Right….because getting into that car with your friend Derek here was so much safer. But here…" He reached into his pocket. "My name's Mike Logan. I'm a cop. NYPD." He pulled out a badge and showed it to her.

She looked at him skeptically and reached for the badge. She examined it and thought it looked real. Her uncle was with the NYPD, so she had seen badges before. She handed it back to him.

"But still, driving his very expensive car doesn't seem like a very good idea."

"Well, he can't drive it, that's for sure. And leaving it here isn't a good idea. We could wrestle him into the passenger seat and you could drive him, but if he comes to and realizes you're driving his precious car it would be bad to be cooped up in that tiny space. This way he gets home safe and his car gets home safe…..It's the Christian thing to do, don't you think?"

She looked at him uncertainly. He jingled the keys again and said, "C'mon, I've always wanted to drive one of these things."

His smile was contagious and she found herself smiling back. She thought this was probably a mistake, but she decided to be impulsive. It couldn't be a bigger mistake than agreeing to a blind date with Derek had been. He saw the smile and the concession in her eyes and laughed triumphantly. She thought that the only thing nicer than Mike Logan's smile was his boyish laugh.

Mike went to the street and hailed a cab. He and Sarah managed to get Derek to his feet and pushed him into the cab. Mike pulled Derek's wallet out of his pocket and checked his address, then gave the driver the address and some money.

They went back to the car and Mike held the door for her as she got into the passenger seat. He got in and put the key in the ignition. When the engine roared to life, Mike laughed again and Sarah laughed with him.

"Oh man! I can't believe how amazing this is! So…." He looked at Sarah. "Do you think we have to take it _directly_ to Derek's place? Maybe we could just go for a little ride?"

Sarah laughed at the look he gave her. He looked like a little boy pleading for one more cookie.

"No," she said firmly. "We have to take it straight to his building. No side trips. This is our 'Christian duty', remember? Not a test drive."

"OK, fine. Straight there." He pulled the car smoothly out into traffic. "So…you know who I am, but I don't know who you are."

"Sarah Johnson."

"Nice to meet you, Sarah Johnson. How long have you known Derek?"

She sighed. "I just met him tonight. A coworker set us up on a blind date. I used to think she was my friend."

Mike laughed and looked at her profile. It occurred to him that he had been right; her smile did light up her face, and when it did she went from pretty to beautiful.

"Where do you work?"

"New York Public Library," she told him.

"A librarian? Aren't you supposed to be wearing sensible shoes, big round glasses, and have your hair pulled up in a bun so tight it makes you look like you just got a facelift?"

Sarah laughed and said, "Oh we're allowed to dress down when we aren't at work."

They pulled up in front of Derek's building. Mike sighed and ran his hand lovingly over the dash as he turned off the car. He grinned and winked at Sarah, then got out and came around to open her door. The cab was already there, and the doorman was trying to help a very unsteady and incoherent Derek out of the back. Once he was out of the cab Mike showed his badge to the doorman, gave him the keys to the Ferrari, and warned him to make sure not to give them back to Derek until morning. Then he and Sarah climbed into the cab. Mike turned to her.

"Where do you live? I'll drop you off."

"Just take me back to Peter J's. My car is there."

Mike nodded to the driver and turned back to her. "So I take it you won't be going out with Derek again?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Not likely! Actually I was sitting there tonight while he was rambling on, planning how to murder my coworker and not leave any clues."

_So that's what that little smile was about_, thought Mike. "Gosh, I really wish you hadn't told me that. If I hear about someone being beaten to death with 'War and Peace' at the library, I'll have to let the local precinct know that you are the prime suspect."

Sarah laughed again. "Drat! Another great plan foiled by the coppers!"

They both laughed and made small talk until they arrived back at the bar. Mike paid the driver and then held her hand as she stepped out of the cab. He walked her to her car. Sarah turned and held her hand out to shake his hand.

"Detective Mike Logan, it was nice to meet you. Thank you for your help."

Mike shook her hand and then held onto it for a moment as he grinned and asked, "Could I see you again? Without Derek?"

Sarah leaned back against the car and looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, then pulled her hand away. She pulled a business card out of her purse and handed it to Mike. He took it and looked at the logo for the New York Public Library.

"You want me to call you at work?"

"Sure. Or drop by sometime. We have a great romance section."

Mike laughed and reached for her hand again, this time bringing it to his lips and planting a gentle kiss. Sarah felt like she couldn't breathe for a moment. She pulled her hand away and got into the car. She rolled the window down as Mike leaned down.

"So, should I be checking The Ledger tomorrow for any reports of murdered librarians?"

"No," Sarah said with a grin. "I think I might let Penny live after all. The blind date was a disaster, but the evening turned out surprisingly well."

She watched him in her rear-view mirror as she drove away, as he stood in the street and watched her.

**End Chapter 3**


	4. Chapter 4

FAMILY

**FAMILY**

**Chapter 4**

Annie made her way downstairs in the dark house. It was 5:00 AM and the early September sun would not rise for over an hour. She wanted some prayer time before waking the children up to start the day. Bobby was up already, of course. She saw the light under the door to the basement as she curled up on the window seat with her Bible and her prayer journal. She had been there nearly an hour when the basement door opened and Bobby came out. He smiled slightly when he saw her and moved to squat down in front of her.

"I have to go, we got a call."

The somber look on his face made her ask, "What is it?"

"Cops," he said softly and Annie felt a familiar tingle. She felt it whenever she heard that a police officer had been killed, but couldn't put a name to it. It was a combination of fear for her husband and relief that this time it was someone else's husband. Bobby continued, "Two undercover detectives shot along with two men they were buying guns from."

Annie leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

"Do you want to wake the boys up and wish them Happy Birthday before you go?"

He smiled and nodded. She followed him upstairs to the twins' room. Bobby knelt down between their beds and kissed each one on the forehead.

"Happy Birthday guys," he said softly.

Phillip and Andrew stirred, and then awakened. They both jumped out of bed and scrambled into Bobby's lap, where he was sitting on the floor. Phillip yelled, "Yay! We're seven!"

Bobby laughed and wrapped his arms around them. "Seven is a very important birthday. So how does it feel?"

Andrew said excitedly, "I feel all grown up now. Do I look different?"

"Definitely all grown up," Bobby told him.

The noise woke Ally and she came into the twins' room, rubbing her eyes. She climbed onto Andrew's bed next to Annie and snuggled up to her mother while they watched the boys with their father. Bobby hugged them and said, "I have to go to work now, guys, but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday first."

"Are you going to be home for our birthday dinner, Daddy?" asked Andrew.

Bobby tousled his hair. "I'm going to try my best, Buddy. But I can't promise anything, OK?"

"OK, Daddy," they both said. Bobby hugged them again before getting up. He leaned over and kissed Ally on the top of her head, then headed to the bedroom to get dressed for work.

"Can we watch cartoons until breakfast, Mommy?" asked Phillip.

"OK, you're all up early so you can watch cartoons."

All three children trooped downstairs and Annie went to the bedroom. Bobby had taken a quick shower. She sat on the bed and watched him putting his suit on. When he was dressed and ready to leave, she stood to hug him. Bobby held her tightly for a moment and whispered, "Cops." She nodded her head and squeezed her arms around him tightly. She knew the toll it took on the entire police department when they had to investigate the murder of one of their own.

He called that evening to tell her that he would be working late and would miss the twins' birthday dinner. He knew they would be disappointed. Phillip and Andrew had requested dinner at Sal's because they knew it was their daddy's favorite restaurant. This wouldn't be the first birthday or holiday that he had missed. It was a sad fact of life that as a cop and a nurse, Bobby and Annie often worked holidays. Annie had always managed to arrange days off for the children's birthdays, but she had to work some holidays every year. Bobby's schedule was more unreliable, never knowing when he would be called in on a case at the last minute. It was a way of life for their children; they were disappointed at times but they understood.

"Well, Rhoda will be very sad that her favorite customer isn't there," Annie said with a laugh. Rhoda was a waitress at Sal's with a huge crush on Bobby. She flirted with him outrageously when he went there without his wife and only slightly more subtlety when Annie was with him. Bobby was known to flirt back with her and as a result he enjoyed excellent service.

"Well, be sure to give her my love," he teased.

"Bobby," she said as a thought occurred to her. "What about the birthday party this Saturday?"

The boys had requested a policeman-themed birthday party, which was to be that weekend. What they didn't know was that as a surprise, Bobby had arranged for some squad cars and officers to arrive with red lights and sirens to present each of the boys at the party a pretend NYPD badge.

Bobby sighed. "I don't think that's going to happen, Babe. Everyone's working on this case so there won't be anyone available to pop in at the party." He hesitated and added, "I'm not sure I'll be there, either."

Annie knew that the only part of his job that Bobby hated was that there were too many times like this; missing family events because of a pressing case. She thought for a moment, trying to rearrange plans in her head.

"It'll be OK," she said. "They didn't know about the officers and the badges, so they won't know the difference. They'll be making their own police vests; we'll just have them make badges too. Don't worry about it, Baby. They will understand."

"I know," he sighed. "I just wish….' He trailed off, and then changed the subject. "Eames came in today and she's still here."

"But she's on maternity leave," Annie exclaimed.

"Yeah, the captain reminded her of that too. But she said she's not sitting home when we have two murdered cops."

"Well, tell her not to overdo it, or I'll come over there myself and drag her out. Remember, I know where I can get a pair of cuffs."

Bobby laughed and told her he would pass the message on. After they hung up, she went to break the news to the kids. As expected, they were disappointed. It was Andrew, who wanted to be a policeman just like his daddy, who nodded stoically and said, "It's OK, Mommy. Daddy's got to get the bad guys." Phillip agreed.

She smiled at her boys, who looked so much like their father. She took them to Sal's, as planned. And as she expected, Rhoda's face registered her disappointment when Annie and the children showed up without Bobby. But she was polite to Annie and very sweet to the children, treating them as though they were her most important customers. After dinner Rhoda brought out two small birthday cakes with a single candle on each, and was joined by the rest of the staff in singing "Happy Birthday".

Bobby came in late that night. Annie was already in bed, but was still awake. He showered and then climbed into bed. She could see the fatigue and frustration on his face. He didn't want to talk about the case; he pulled her close and held her tightly until they both fell asleep.

He was up early and gone before the children even got up. Annie spent the day running errands and picking up last-minute supplies for the party the next day. Janey would again be helping her, as well as the mother of one of the boys' classmates.

Annie had wanted her mother-in-law to come as she had for Ally's birthday party, but it had not worked out this time. Bobby's brother, Frank, was still in rehab following an arrest for drug possession. He had two more months before he would be released and the closer it got the harder it seemed to be for him to wait. He had taken to calling his mother almost daily and complaining about the rehab and about his brother. It was Annie who had discovered his drugs and turned them over to the police. It was also Annie who had insisted that they press charges, when the detectives had offered to dispose of the drugs and let Bobby handle it privately. While Frank would have gladly told his mother that his present situation was all Annie's fault, Bobby had warned him not to say anything about her involvement. As far as Frances knew, it was all Bobby's fault. Since he had enough fear of his brother to keep Annie's name out of it, he was more than glad to feed his mother's ire at his brother instead. As the calls and the complaining became more frequent, Frances had become more agitated. She began hearing voices and seeing bugs. The doctor was trying to adjust her medications. In the meantime Bobby, as her conservator, had ordered the staff not to put any more calls from Frank through to her unless he was present. This had only served to increase his mother's anger, but he refused to budge.

Bobby called in the afternoon and told Annie that it was going to be another late night for the entire squad. He said that they were all tired, but no one was complaining. They all wanted to get a cop killer off the streets and would work as long as necessary. He sounded tired and when she asked if he had eaten his answer was vague. She suspected he had eaten little or nothing all day, and she suspected the rest of the Major Case Squad had followed suit.

Annie called her friend and next-door neighbor, Janey, and asked her to pick the children up from school and keep them at her house until she returned. Then she called and ordered pizza for the entire squad. She went to the store and picked up a variety of sodas and cookies for dessert. She arrived at One Police Plaza at the same time as the pizza deliveryman and they went up together. As the elevator doors opened on the eleventh floor, she could hear the activity of people shuffling through paperwork and moving quietly but quickly around the bullpen. Captain Deakins was leaning over Detective Jefferies' desk and was the first one to look up and see her.

"Annie!" The captain walked over and kissed her on the cheek. "What are you up to?"

"I just thought your detectives are probably not eating or sleeping regularly. I can't do anything about their sleep, but I thought I could at least provide them with sustenance. Is there someplace I can set all this up?"

Deakins laughed and said, "Sure, that interview room over there is empty. Go ahead and put everything there." He kissed her cheek again and said softly, "Thank you Annie. The guys will really appreciate this."

Bobby had looked up when Deakins called her name. He didn't get up or say anything; he just watched her progress across the squad room. She smiled and winked at him as she passed. It took three trips to get all the pizza and supplies delivered. By the time they got back with the second load there were already grateful detectives munching on pizza.

Once she had everything settled and had given the delivery person a big tip, she headed to Bobby's and Alex's desks. She stopped next to them and pointed at Alex.

"You, Pregnant Lady! When's the last time you ate?"

Alex laughed at her and said, "I'm fine, Nurse."

"That's not an answer. You are eating for two and I can hear Baby asking for pizza. I brought you a treat if you clean your plate like a good girl," Annie said as she pulled a bag of Skittles out of her purse.

Alex raised her hands in mock surrender as she got up and headed for the interview room. Annie laid the Skittles on Alex's desk and turned to her husband. He was leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed and an amused look on his face. She leaned against his desk, crossed her arms, and stared back at him in silence. They looked at one another for a few moments and then Bobby smiled at her. He got up without a word, put his arm around her shoulders, and walked with her to the interview room. She sat and talked with Bobby and Alex while they ate.

"So where is your new partner?" she asked.

"She's chasing down something in records. She'll be back soon," Bobby told her.

Bobby and Alex were nearly finished with their pizza when a young red-haired woman walked into the bullpen. Captain Deakins spoke with her and pointed to the interview room with all the food. Annie watched as the young woman laid some papers on a desk and walked towards the interview room. As she walked into the room, Bobby stood to introduce her.

"Bishop, I'd like to introduce you to my wife, Annie Paine. Annie, Detective Lynn Bishop."

Annie stood and shook hands with Bishop. "I'm glad to meet you, Detective."

Bishop murmured a greeting and then served herself some pizza and soda. The other detectives had drifted back to their desks with their food. Bobby, Annie, Alex, and Bishop made small talk for a few minutes. Bobby and Alex finished their food and excused themselves, Bobby leaning down to kiss Annie on his way out. There were a few moments of silence when Annie and Bishop were left alone.

Finally Annie said, "I'm glad I got a chance to meet you. I've been wanting to since you and Bobby have been partnered."

Bishop looked uncomfortable. "I know…Goren told me that you wanted to meet. I just….I just thought that since we will only be partners for a short time, there was no need."

"I know, and it's OK. I just like to meet all of Bobby's partners and get to know them."

"All of his partners? Or all of his female partners?" Bishop asked.

Annie was speechless for a moment as she looked at the younger woman. "Wh…what?" she finally managed to say.

Bishop held her gaze and said, "Look, I've had male partners before and I know how their wives see female partners."

"What?" Annie asked again, at a loss for words.

Bishop sighed impatiently. "I know how it works. I know people get the wrong idea about male/female partners and wives can get jealous of all the time they spend together. But Goren and I won't be partnered for long, so I decided I just didn't want to put the energy into reassuring another wife that I don't have the hots for her husband."

Annie stared at her for several long beats. Suddenly she began to laugh. Bishop looked at her as though she was crazy and Annie laughed even harder. She was having trouble breathing and she laid her forehead on the table as she gasped. She sat up and looked through the glass walls of the interview room. She could see that several people had heard her laughter and turned to look at her, among them her husband. He and Alex were both looking at her quizzically and for some reason that seemed incredibly funny to her. She was holding onto the table and had tears streaming down her face as she howled with laughter. Bishop stood up and looked like she wanted to escape from the lunatic before her.

Finally Annie managed to gain control of herself. She took some deep, steadying breaths and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She looked up at Bishop and took another deep breath.

"Y…you think that….I…I wanted to….to…tell you," she lost control and began to laugh again. She covered her face, took some more deep breaths, and tried again. "You think I was afraid…that…th…that you would…seduce my husband?" She couldn't help the giggles that followed.

Bishop looked at her warily. "Well, when a partner's wife says she wants to meet me, it usually means she wants to make sure I know he's taken."

Annie looked at her and realized she was completely serious. She patted the chair that Bishop had just vacated and said, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have laughed at you. Please sit down." Bishop sat down and watched Annie as she continued. "Detective, how many male partners have you had?"

"A few," Bishop told her.

"And their wives all thought you were after their men?"

"The ones who were married or had girlfriends. And I'm not the only one. It's a fact of life for female cops. We have to prove to the men that we're just as tough as they are and prove to their wives that we aren't just waiting for an opportunity for a roll in the back of a squad car."

Now Annie was completely serious. She looked out at Bobby and Alex again. They had both gone back to their paperwork.

"I really am sorry. I had no idea. It really never occurred to me that could be the reason you refused to meet me. Now I remember that when Alex and Bobby first became partners, she refused to meet me too. Is that why?" She looked at Bishop. "Did Alex think I wanted to 'scope out the competition' too?"

Bishop shrugged. "Probably."

"The thing is…that isn't the reason I wanted to meet you, or the reason I wanted to meet Alex. The thought never even crossed my mind. I don't worry about women throwing themselves at my husband. I don't have to trust or mistrust anyone because the person I do trust is my husband. I know that he would never do anything to hurt me."

The look on Bishop's face clearly said that she didn't believe her. "Then why did you want to meet me?" she asked.

"The same reason I insist on meeting all of his partners, and his or her spouse. Partners depend on one another, sometimes it's a matter of life and death. I want the person who has Bobby's back to remember that he has a family. I didn't want to tell you to keep your hands off my husband," she smiled. "I wanted to tell you that there is a wife and three kids depending you to protect him."

They were silent for a moment. Bishop said softly, "Well, now I feel a little silly."

Annie patted her hand. "Don't feel silly. I really had no idea it was like that for you. I know the women have a harder time of it on the force. I just didn't realize that suspicious wives were a problem." She smiled at the younger woman. "I really would appreciate it if you would refrain from trying to seduce my husband." She laughed before adding, "But more importantly, I really would appreciate you having his back."

It was Bishop's turn to laugh and Annie joined with her. They sat for a few more minutes talking, and then Annie stood up to leave. They shook hands.

"I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, Ms. Paine," Bishop told her.

"Don't give it another thought. And please call me Annie…Detective."

"You can call me Lynn. Or Bishop."

"It was nice to meet you, Lynn. I'll call you and we'll have dinner sometime…maybe after this case is over."

Bishop nodded and Annie left. On her way out she stopped to tell Bobby and Alex goodbye. Bobby walked her to the elevator.

"So what went on in there? You were laughing awfully hard."

Annie smiled and reached up to kiss his cheek. "I'll tell you about it later. I think Lynn and I are going to go out for dinner one of these days."

"Lynn?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Lynn," she said firmly. The elevator door opened and Bobby kissed her quickly before she got on.

Once again, Bobby came home late and left early the next morning. Phillip and Andrew were awake before Annie. They ran in and jumped on her bed, full of excitement over their party later in the afternoon. Ally woke up soon after and joined them in the big bed. She was almost as excited as her brothers because she would be allowed to stay and help with the party.

Annie sent the boys next door with Janey's husband, Rob, and Janey joined her, Ally, and another mother to decorate. The party would be in the front yard. They set up tables and blew up balloons. There were cut-out footprints around the yard, some leading to "loot" (candy), and some wandering aimlessly. They had made a cardboard "jail", "hideout", and "bank" for one of the games. Annie went to pick up the cake and was pleased with the way it had turned out. It was cut in the shape of a police car and decorated to look like an NYPD squad car. The gift bags for the guests had small, inexpensive toys, boxes of crayons, safety coloring books, and stickers that Bobby had collected from the department.

She brought the boys home to clean up and change. The guests arrived and they were busy for the next two hours with the games, the crafts, the presents, and the cake. Things were winding down and parents would be arriving soon to pick up the group of tired little boys.

Suddenly the sound of sirens filled the air and everyone looked up to see two squad cars and three unmarked police cars coming down the street from both directions, lights flashing and sirens blaring. They all pulled up in front of the house, completely blocking the street. The car doors opened up and detectives and uniformed officers from the Major Case Squad stepped out, their badges prominently displayed. The boys all stood still, completely speechless. It occurred to Annie that it was the quietest any of them had been for the last two hours.

She saw Bobby, Lynn, and Alex step out of an SUV. Bobby didn't come forward right away and Annie wondered what he was doing. Then she saw Captain Deakins step out of another vehicle. He smiled at her as he walked over to her.

Captain Deakins faced the ten little boys standing and staring at the police cars and flashing lights. He cleared his throat and said in a loud voice, "Phillip and Andrew Goren! Would you step forward please!"

Phillip's and Andrew's eyes grew big as they walked over to stand in front of the captain. Deakins knelt down in front of them and said, "I hear that there is an NYPD party going on here today and that you two young men want to be Major Case Squad detectives."

Annie smiled as the boys nodded wordlessly. They had met the captain on several occasions, and had even been to his home for a barbeque, but he looked rather intimidating with his suit and tie, his badge in place, and with a very authoritative look on his face.

He told them, "Well, you can't be detectives in my squad unless you are wearing a proper gold shield." He pulled two small badges out of his pocket and pinned them to the twins' shirts. Annie looked closely and saw that they were small replicas of NYPD detectives' badges. Deakins went on, "The detectives and officers have badges for each of your guests as well."

With that the detectives and officers moved among the guests and pinned badges on each boy's shirt. Phillip and Andrew had huge smiles on their faces as Deakins stood up and solemnly shook hands with each one.

"Welcome to Major Case, men. And now you all get to have a ride in one of the cars—with lights and sirens, of course."

Now the boys all found their voices again and they yelled and scrambled to the cars. Bobby took Phillip and Andrew in the car with himself and Lynn. Alex waited with Annie as all of the cars left for a drive around the neighborhood.

Annie laughed as she told Alex, "I thought the surprise was cancelled because of this case. And I never expected the captain to put in an appearance!"

Alex said, "It was the captain, actually. He decided we needed something to ease the tension and that spending a few minutes with a group of little boys hopped up on birthday cake was just what we all needed. Besides Bobby was so depressed over missing this that we thought we better do something."

The cars returned with their very happy and very excited occupants. Annie made sure the boys thanked the captain and all of the officers. She hugged the captain and thanked him profusely, embarrassing him. The officers got back into their cars and left the same way they had arrived. Bobby, Lynn, and Alex stayed behind for a few minutes. As parents began to arrive to pick up the guests, Phillip and Andrew took Bobby to see their gifts and tell him about everything that they had done at the party. When they left, Annie walked with him to the car, holding hands.

At the car she smiled up at him and asked, "Have I mentioned lately what a great dad you are?"

He smiled and said, "Well, not today."

"You are a great dad," she said softly.

He kissed her lightly before getting into the car. She waved goodbye to Alex and to Lynn and watched as they drove away. She was amazed at what the entire squad had done today. She knew that all of them were affected by the murder of two fellow officers and that finding the killers was of utmost importance to them all. She knew they were all putting in long hours and missing time with their own families. Yet they had put all that aside for a short time in order to make a group of little boys happy. Bobby had talked about police officers being part of a family and she had seen that today.

Bobby continued working late and leaving early until they finally made an arrest in the case. A young man and woman had been responsible for the murders. Seeing their pictures in the paper, Annie thought they looked like they could be high school sweethearts, ready for the prom.

On the day of the funerals for the two slain detectives, Annie picked Alex up and they drove to the church together. Standing in the midst of all the dress uniforms, Annie looked around at all the faces. She watched the grieving families, the stoic resolve on the faces of every officer present. It made her feel proud to be a part of this NYPD family.

She looked up at her husband, handsome in his dress blues, that same stoic resolve on his face. She thought her heart might burst from the love and pride she had in this man. His strength, his understanding, and his tenderness; all combined to make him not only an excellent police officer but a devoted and loving husband and father as well. After the service was over, she moved to stand next to him and slip her hand in his. He squeezed her hand and looked down at her. Their eyes met and held for several moments and it felt once again as though he could read her thoughts. He smiled sadly and whispered, "I love you," before they moved with the crowd leaving the church for the funeral procession to the cemetery.

He came home early that day and spent time with the children. Then he went to bed when Annie did and wrapped his arms around her. He fell asleep quickly for once. He never released her, but held her tightly against him all night. Annie fell asleep with her face resting on his chest, feeling the familiar, comforting thud of his heart against her cheek.

**End Chapter 4**

13


	5. Chapter 5

FAMILY

**FAMILY**

**Chapter 5**

_We will go back to Mike and Sarah for this chapter. Again, this is before Mike started with Major Case, while he was still working on Staten Island. So he has not met Goren, Eames, or Deakins._

_I also have to apologize. I said that this chapter would be about their first date. But Mike and Sarah took too long to get to that point. I tried to hurry them along, but they seem determined to move slowly. So I promise the next Mike/Sarah chapter will be about the date._

Sarah Johnson arrived at work the morning after her blind date and began putting her things away in her desk. Her coworker Penny rushed over, an excited smile on her face.

"So…" Penny asked. "How was the date? Was Derek as fabulous as I told you?"

Sarah smiled as she leaned against her desk and folded her arms. "Well, I spent most of the evening plotting your murder. That was pretty fabulous."

Penny's face fell. "You didn't like him? But what's not to like? He's gorgeous, he's rich, he's sophisticated."

"Sophisticated may be overstating it just a bit. Have you ever talked to Derek?"

"Well…just to say hello. But I've talked to some of the women in my husband's office. They said he was great."

"Then they overstated. Derek is very good looking and he is certainly rich. But he also happens to be a boor. And last night he was a drunken boor."

"Oh no." Penny's face fell. "I'm really sorry. I thought you would have fun." She sighed. "My husband told me to stay out of it, that setting people up on blind dates is a bad idea. But I just…."she trailed off.

"You just want everyone married and happy like you," Sarah finished for her. "I appreciate it, but you don't have to worry about me, Penny. My life is full and happy just the way it is. If Mr. Right does come along, that'll just be icing on the cake."

"So you forgive me?"

Sarah smiled and said, "Oh I forgave you last night."

Penny looked at her enigmatic smile and asked, "What is that smile for? Did something happen?"

"Well….Derek took me back to Peter J's after the gallery opening and proceeded to get completely sloshed. When I was ready to leave I was worried about him driving like that so I tried to take his keys and he got a little rough."

"Rough!" exclaimed Penny. "Did he hurt you?"

"No, no, no. He grabbed my wrist, but I'm fine. Besides I had a white knight."

"A white knight?"

Sarah laughed. "A guy from the bar pulled Derek away from me. Then we put him in a cab and we drove Derek's Ferrari to his building for him."

"You got into a car with a complete stranger you picked up in a bar?"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "I didn't 'pick him up'. And he's a cop. He showed me his badge."

"People get fake ones all the time!"

"No, I looked it over. It was a real NYPD badge. And nothing happened. We drove the Ferrari to Derek's building, gave his keys to the doorman, took a cab back to Peter J's, and I left. That's all there is to it."

"If that's all there is to it, then why are you smiling like that?" Penny looked at her suspiciously. "Was he cute? _Something_ happened. Spill."

"Nothing happened," Sarah said as she moved around the desk and sat down. "We just talked, that's all. He was funny and interesting and…yes, he was cute."

Penny's excitement was back. "So did he ask you out? Did you give him your number?"

"He did ask if we could go out sometime. I gave him my card."

"Your card? From here? You gave0 him your business card, but not your phone number?"

Sarah laughed at her coworker. "A minute ago you thought he was a serial killer or something. Now you want me to give him my number? I gave him my card. If he really wants to go out with me, he'll call me here and ask. Now, we've got work to do."

Penny left reluctantly and Sarah settled down to work.

Mike Logan sat at his desk trying to concentrate on the stack of paperwork in front of him. He hadn't had a call all day and it looked like he was doomed to spend the entire day sitting at this desk. Without the distraction of a crime scene to investigate, his mind kept wandering from the paperwork in front of him to the dark-haired woman he had met the night before. He pulled a card out of his pocket and looked at it again. "New York Public Library Mid-Manhattan Branch Sarah Johnson".

"Hey Logan," John Miller called. Mike looked up to see his partner coming towards him from the captain's office. "Captain wants one of us to go to Riker's and see if we can get anything else out of that kid we got for the burglaries. Wanna flip a coin?"

Mike looked at the card in his hand and smiled. He stood up and patted Miller on the back. "No need, Miller. I'll go."

Miller shook his head. "You're just sad, Logan. You want off this island so bad you prefer Riker's?"

Mike laughed and said, "What can I say? I love to travel." He put the card in his pocket and pulled on his jacket.

He stood on the sidewalk in front of the Mid-Manhattan branch of the New York Public Library, looking up the stone steps at the front doors. He turned to look across the street at the Humanities and Social Sciences Library with its stone lions out front. He looked back at the library and started up the steps. Now that he was here he wasn't sure how to proceed. The library was huge, with five floors. He had no idea how many employees there were. What were the chances that he would walk in the front door and see her? He would have to ask for her, which meant she would probably know he was there before he found her. He had hoped to surprise her.

The trip to Rikers had been fruitful. After a few nights in jail, the kid had been only too eager to tell everything he knew about the burglaries, including the other participants and the ringleader. His lawyer would be able to work out a good plea deal for him. Mike was glad, although he didn't let the kid see. This was a kid caught up with the crowd and Mike thought he would probably be "scared straight" by his time in Rikers.

He walked in the front door and looked around. Just as he thought, it was large and spacious. He briefly considered wandering around to look for Sarah but realized that he could wander all day and still never run into her. He found the check-out desk and walked over. A young woman saw him and came over.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"I'm looking for Sarah Johnson. Could you tell me where to find her?"

The young woman spotted the badge on his jacket and her eyes widened in surprise. She exclaimed, "Are you the white knight?"

"Uh…excuse me?" Mike looked at her like she was crazy.

"I…I mean….are you the cop who helped Sarah last night?" Penny blushed at her slip of the tongue.

Mike chuckled and said, "I am a cop and I did help Sarah last night. Are you by any chance the coworker who set her up on the blind date?"

Penny blushed again. "Guilty, I'm afraid."

"Well, it's nice to see that you are safe and sound," he said with another chuckle. "She wasn't too happy with you last night."

"I know and I apologized. I really thought she would have fun. But you are here to see Sarah, not to check on my well-being. She's up on the fourth floor teaching a computer class." She looked at her watch. "They should be finishing up in about ten minutes, if you'd like to wait. The newspaper and magazine section is up there too."

Mike smiled at her and she blushed again. "Thanks. I think I'll just go have a look at the newspaper."

Mike made his way to the fourth floor. As he stepped off the elevator he looked around at the rows of magazines and newspapers; it looked as though they had every magazine and newspaper published. There were tables to sit at and a few couches and chairs, giving it a cozy look. The other half of the room was taken up with tables and chairs where people could use their laptop computers with wireless internet, and with glass-walled classrooms. Only one classroom was in use at the moment and Mike spied Sarah standing in the front with about fifteen people sitting in front of computers. He picked up a magazine at random and moved to sit in one of the comfortable armchairs with a direct view of the classroom.

As he settled into the chair and held the magazine open in his lap his eyes stayed on the dark-haired woman giving instructions. She was wearing a conservative black skirt and jacket with a white blouse. The skirt came to just above her knees, giving him a nice view of her nylon-clad calves. He smiled as he looked at the black pumps she was wearing, remembering his comment about librarians wearing sensible shoes. These were sensible, low-heeled, and plain. But they did nothing to detract from her shapely ankles and legs. Her dark hair was not pulled up in a tight bun, either, but was pulled back in a pony tail that made her look like a teenager.

She seemed enthusiastic about whatever she was saying and he heard the rumble of voices as her students responded to her comments or asked her questions. It looked as though the class was wrapping up and he watched with fascination as she said something that caused the entire class to erupt in loud laughter. Her face lit up with pleasure at their response and he thought again that when she smiled like that she became breathtakingly beautiful. The students were gathering up their things and most paused to speak to Sarah on their way out. As the last few people made their way to the door, she turned to her desk and began gathering her things. Mike got up and walked across the room.

Sarah was putting her papers in her folder, feeling very pleased that the class had gone so well. All of the students seemed to be "getting it", and enjoying the class at the same time. She had fun teaching these computer classes but usually there were one or two people who just could not seem to understand the technology or her instructions. She heard footsteps and thought one of the students had forgotten something.

"Excuse me, Miss," a deep voice said behind her. "Could you tell me where the romance section is?"

She turned to find Mike's hazel eyes watching her with amusement. She smiled and found herself suddenly shy; in fact she suspected that she had blushed, something that didn't happen often.

"Well, Detective Logan, this is a surprise. I'm afraid you're on the wrong floor for romance."

"Well that's OK, I was just catching up on a little news." He held up the magazine he had been pretending to read.

"Mad?" Sarah laughed. "You don't really look like the 'Mad Magazine' type."

Mike looked down at the magazine in his hand, realizing he hadn't even looked at the title when he picked it up.

"Well, I like a little humor with my news," he smiled. "The truth is that I was just waiting to talk to you."

He watched as she smiled and blushed. He had a sudden urge to reach out and touch her cheek, run his thumb over her bottom lip, and kiss her. The mental image made him feel suddenly nervous and shy as he struggled to think of what to say next. He mentally shook himself as he also imagined his old partner, Lennie Brisco, laughing at him for fawning over a girl like a school boy. He could hear Lennie's voice saying, "Smooth Mikey, real smooth. Some ladies man!"

He finally found his voice and said, "So, uh…you said that you might go out with me sometime. I just wanted to ask if you would have dinner with me Saturday night."

Sarah smiled again. "I would like that very much."

"Do you like jazz? I know a little jazz club that has great food."

"I love jazz!"

"Is seven alright? I'll pick you up."

Sarah hesitated a moment before saying, "Why don't I just meet you? We could meet at Peter J's at seven."

Mike frowned for a moment, puzzled. She didn't seem to have any intention of telling him where she lived. He said, "OK, seven at Peter J's. So…can I have your number? Or am I only allowed to contact you here?" He held up the card she had given him the night before.

"Oh, of course you can have my number. Here, I'll write my cell phone number on the card."

As she reached for the card, Mike noticed something that made his heart sink. Sarah wrote her number on the card and handed it back to him. Instead of taking the card from her, he grasped her hand and held it up.

"Before we go any further, is there something you want to tell me?"

She looked to where he was holding her left hand up, with the diamond engagement ring and gold wedding band sitting on her ring finger. For the third time in just a few minutes she blushed.

"Oh…I…uh….I'm sorry. I sh…should have mentioned it. M..my husband died a year and a half ago."

Mike's eyes softened. He took the card and let go of her hand.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"Thank you. I…it's habit, you know? I wore them for so many years…I…I just keep wearing them."

"You weren't wearing them last night," he pointed out.

"No I wasn't." Her smile returned. "It just didn't seem to be the right accessory for a date."

"I guess not," Mike chuckled. "Well, I should put the magazine away and get back to work. Can I offer you a ride down?" He swept his arm towards the elevator.

She laughed and said, "Yes you can. Thank you very much."

She picked up her folder as Mike put the magazine back in its place and they walked to the elevator. He looked down at her as they waited for the elevator, although he didn't have to look too far down. With her heels on she was only a few inches shorter than him.

"You looked like you were enjoying your class," he said, hoping to see her smile again. He was rewarded as she looked at him, her face lit with excitement.

"Oh I was. I love teaching these classes." She turned and looked back at the room. "I love this place, this entire library. The computers, the papers, the magazines, the art, but most of all the books. Sometimes I just walk up and down the stacks and run my fingers across all these thousands of books. All those words, all those ideas…it's intoxicating."

Mike listened to her and watched her face, mesmerized. He thought that she was beautiful when she smiled, but this look of rapture made her glow. The elevator opened and the spell was broken. She looked at him with a sheepish smile and they both got on. There were three other people on the elevator already, coming from the fifth floor, and they all rode down in silence.

As they stepped off the elevator, rows of bookshelves were directly in front of them. Sarah smiled and hooked her arm through Mike's, drawing him towards the books.

"Well, Detective, you were asking about the romance section. Let me show where it is. This whole section is fiction. Along here we have mystery novels, here are the short story collections, westerns are next, and here are romance novels. Would you like me to help you find any particular one?" Mike chuckled as she pulled a book from the shelf. "How about 'Love's Burning Desire'? Or 'The King's Mistress', 'Notorious Proposal', 'Heart's Surrender'? Anything sound particularly interesting?"

"Well," he said laughing, "I, uh, don't have my library card with me and I really need to get back to work. So maybe next time I'll let you pick one out for me."

She laughed with him and kept her arm through his as they walked towards the entrance. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Penny at the circulation desk watching them. They stopped in front of the doors; Sarah pulled her arm away and turned to face him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a card and a pen.

"Since I have your number, at work and at home, I thought maybe you should have mine too," he said as he scribbled on the card. He handed the card to her and she looked at it.

"Staten Island? You work on Staten Island?"

"Yeah, its, uh, a nice place."

"Do you live there too?'

"Not on your life! I live in Brooklyn. Actually, I live around the corner from Peter J's."

"Convenient."

"Hey, I offered to pick you up. Peter J's was your idea," he laughed. "It's not too late, you know. I would still be happy to pick you up."

"No, I'll meet you at Peter J's at seven," she said firmly.

"OK, then….I guess I'd better get going. I'm looking forward to Saturday night, Sarah Johnson." He reached for her hand, and kissed it quickly before turning to walk away.

She watched him walk out the door before looking at the card again and murmuring, "So am I Detective Logan, so am I."

As she walked back towards the circulation desk she was almost tackled by Penny, who then pulled her behind the desk.

"That was the cop from last night?! He's gorgeous! Did he ask you out? What did you say? When are you going out? Where is he taking you?"

Sarah laughed and set her folder down. "Calm down, Penny. Yes that was the cop from last night, Mike Logan. And yes he is cute. Let's see now: Yes he asked me out, I said yes, we are going out Saturday night, and he is taking me to a jazz club. Any other questions?"

"Cute? Are you crazy? That guy is HOT!"

"OK, he's hot. He also happens to be funny and smart and…I don't know…entertaining."

Penny clapped her hands in delight. "This is SO romantic! And I'm responsible! If I hadn't set you up with Derek you never would have met your soul mate!"

"Whoa girl! No one said anything about a soul mate. I'm just going out to dinner with an interesting guy, that's all."

"We'll see," Penny said smugly. "We'll see."

**End chapter 5**

10


	6. Chapter 6

FAMILY

**FAMILY**

**Chapter 6**

_We come back to Bobby and Annie with this chapter. The time frame is not too long after the events of Happy Family. _

_Just a word about the events of this chapter. They are based on the true life events that happened to my sister, brother-in-law, and niece a few years ago. I want to thank all three of them for allowing me to use such a traumatic event. And I want to thank my sister and my niece for being so willing to share details with me. Of course the names have been changed, the events have been shaped to fit into my LOCI universe, and I have added a few details of my own creation. But I added very little because the real life story is dramatic enough all by itself. This is a long chapter and I apologize, but I didn't want to leave anything out._

Bobby Goren stood completely still with a look of sorrow on his face. Annie stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She laid her cheek against his back and murmured words of comfort. Then Alex Eames' sarcastic voice broke the moment.

"Oh for crying out loud, Goren! It's just a car; it's not one of your kids. Now get in and let's get out of here. I'm freezing."

Annie buried her face in his back and tried to smother her laughter. Bobby sighed and turned away from the tow truck pulling his Mustang convertible out onto the highway. He looked at the two women and frowned.

"It's so nice to have the support of my partner and my wife at a time like this," he said in the same sarcastic tone Alex had used.

Now Annie couldn't contain herself and she burst out into peals of laughter that carried on the cold, crisp, autumn air. He looked at her with a pained expression that only made her laugh harder. He shrugged and moved to open the front passenger door for Annie. But she shook her head and moved to the back door.

"No way am I going to let you sit in the back seat and get cramps in your legs," she said firmly.

She got in the back and scooted over to sit behind Alex so that Bobby could move his seat back all the way. Bobby sighed and looked at Alex standing in the cold with her eight-month pregnant bulk wrapped in a heavy coat. He started to move around to open her door, but she gave him a look that stopped him.

"Don't even think about it. I'm pregnant not an invalid," she said as she opened her own door and sat down heavily in the driver's seat.

Bobby sighed, looked once more down the road where his beloved Mustang had disappeared, and shrugged again. He got into the passenger seat of Alex's car. Annie was still giggling as Alex pulled out onto the highway.

Bobby and Annie had been to visit his mother earlier that day. They left the kids with a babysitter because Frances' behavior had been erratic of late. The visit had gone well, for the most part. Frances went off on a tirade about Bobby not caring about his brother, but Annie was finally able to distract her. They had even played poker and, as usual, Frances and Bobby laughed at Annie's consistent losses.

Since the children weren't with them, they had driven to Carmel Ridge in Bobby's Mustang. They were enjoying the drive back, talking and laughing and holding hands like teenagers. They enjoyed it, that is, until the car broke down half-way home. Bobby had gotten it off the road and looked under the hood, but it was beyond his expertise. Bobby called a tow truck to take the Mustang to Lewis' garage. Then he called Alex and asked her to pick them up and give them a ride home. She arrived just as the tow truck was ready to pull away.

"I like classic cars as well as the next person, and I admit that Mustang is a beauty, but you are entirely too attached to the thing," Alex opined, causing a fresh outburst of giggles from the back seat.

Bobby turned to scowl at Annie before telling Alex, "It might interest you to know that car was the reason I met my wife, although it doesn't seem to have the same sentimental value for her as it does for me."

"I'm s…sorry, Babe," Annie said, trying to stop giggling. "You know I love that car. It holds precious memories for me, too. It's just that…well, Alex is right…you are awfully attached to it."

"Hey, wait," Alex interrupted. "You two met because of a '67 Mustang? How did that happen?"

Bobby gave Annie one more look to see if she was going to start laughing again. "The car belonged to Lewis. I was home on leave from Korea and I was helping him restore it. Lewis got hurt, cut his arm, and I took him to the ER." He paused and smiled at the memory before continuing. "There was this blond nurse who took care of him and….well….that's how we met. After I took Lewis home, I went back to the hospital and asked her if I could buy her lunch."

The giggling fit was over as Annie also smiled at the memory of that day in the ER. Alex glanced in her rear-view mirror and over at her partner.

"You aren't going to climb back there and start making out are you? Because if you do I'll pull this car over and toss you both out," she said.

Bobby and Annie both laughed as he said, "I was considering it, but we'll restrain ourselves."

"Let's try a safer subject. How was your visit with your mother?"

"It was fine," Bobby said. "She still gets upset about Frank, but maybe things will calm down once he's out of rehab. Annie asked Mom and Frank to come for Thanksgiving."

"I thought Frank wasn't speaking to you," Alex said to Annie.

"He's not. He hasn't said he would come. He wants to think about it," Annie said. "How about you, Alex? Do you have plans?"

"My family always gets together for Thanksgiving. This year it will be at my sister's house. So I'll be there, unless I'm in the hospital giving birth, that is."

The three of them continued talking. Annie became quiet and drowsy. Riding in the back seat always had that effect on her; a residual of her childhood and long drives with her aunt and uncle and cousins. She occasionally heard Bobby or Alex laugh.

She was immediately wide awake when several things all happened simultaneously. The car suddenly slowed and swerved. Bobby shouted, "Watch out!" at the same time that Alex exclaimed, "Is that a kid?!" As the car pulled sharply off the road she heard Alex yell, "Oh God! That car hit him!"

The car stopped and Alex threw it into park and cut the engine. She and Bobby were out of the car before Annie could even unbuckle her seat belt; both of them on their cell phones calling 911. As she opened her door and climbed out, Alex was at the open trunk of her car. She said, "I've got road flares," as she pulled something from the trunk. Bobby was running towards a car that was stopped on the road.

Annie ran after Bobby and caught up as he reached the car and leaned down to look under it. As Annie ran up to the car she caught sight of a dark-haired woman sitting with her hands gripping the steering wheel and staring straight ahead. She squatted next to where Bobby was kneeling and looked under the car. She gasped as she saw a young boy, no more than five or six years old, lying under the car. His right leg was under the back left tire. Alex jogged by, flares in her left hand and her right hand holding her large pregnant belly.

"I'll take care of traffic down here," she said as she passed.

Bobby looked up at her and said, "Eames, maybe you better stay in the car."

"Fat chance," she said without breaking stride.

Annie flattened herself on her stomach and scooted under the car. She examined the boy the best she could; she could barely raise her head under the car. His eyes were closed and there was a small amount of blood trickling from his nose and the corner of his mouth. His skin was very pale and moist. She couldn't see blood coming from anywhere but his mouth. He was breathing, but it was shallow. She felt for his pulse; it was there, but faint. Annie heard Bobby's voice speaking to someone; she assumed it was the driver of the car.

"Ma'am," Bobby called, knocking on the driver's door window. The woman behind the wheel still sat with her hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles were white. She stared straight ahead, not responding to Bobby's voice. He held his badge against the window and tried again. "Ma'am! I need you to put the car in park and open the door." He tried yelling at her and knocking on the window several more times.

Alex had set road flares in front and behind the car as she headed down the road. Traffic was busy and cars were slowing down and pulling over to see what was going on. It was dusk and she hoped the ambulance and troopers arrived soon as it would be dark within the hour. She closed off the far right lane, where the car was still sitting, and began directing traffic into the left lane. As people pulled over and emerged from their cars she instructed them to leave the area as soon as they could safely pull back into traffic. She wanted as few spectators as possible to lessen any interference for the ambulance and troopers.

Alex tried to concentrate on the job at hand and ignore the image in her head: Coming around that curve in the road and seeing the small boy standing on the side of the road, slowing down and swerving as far around him as possible, then watching in the rear view mirror as she pulled over. He was wearing a green hooded sweat shirt that he had pulled up. He was swinging back and forth with his arms in the air. She could see him watching her car go by and, still watching her car, he stepped into the road—right into the path of the next car. She watched in horror as the car, already slowing down, hit the boy with the front passenger-side bumper. He seemed to simply disappear from sight, but Alex saw the telltale "bump, bump" as first the front wheels and then the rear wheels rolled over his tiny body. She knew everything had happened within seconds, but in her mind it all moved in slow motion.

A man emerged from one of the cars pulling over to the side of the road. He jogged over to Eames and noted the badge she had clipped to the pocket of her jacket.

"Officer, I'm with FDNY. Can I go see if I can help?"

Bobby knelt on the ground and looked at Annie. Trying to keep his voice calm he told her, "Babe, you need to get out from under there now. The car is still in gear, the doors are all locked, and the driver isn't responding."

Annie asked, "Is she hurt?"

"No, I don't think so. But she's in shock and there's no telling what she might do. I need you to get out of there…now."

Annie shook her head. "I can't leave him, Bobby. We need to get this tire off his leg and get him out of here."

A man jogged up to Bobby and said, "I'm off duty FDNY. What do we need to do?"

Bobby looked up at the large firefighter. He took another look at Annie's determined face and sighed as he shook his head.

"OK, if we lift the back of the car can you pull him free?"

Annie nodded. Bobby got up and he and the firefighter both grasped the back bumper and lifted. Annie saw the tire lift just enough and she pulled the boy free of the tire and began scooting backwards, pulling him after her.

"Got him," she yelled. The men let the car back down and went back around to where Annie's legs were emerging from under the car. Bobby grasped first her thighs, then her hips, and pulled her the rest of the way out. She had a firm grasp under the boy's shoulders and Bobby pulled until they were both clear.

Bobby helped Annie to her feet as the firefighter leaned over the boy. His jacket was pulled partly up over his arms and the firefighter pulled it off. He picked the boy up and Annie watched as he carried him well off the road. She was struck by how tiny the boy looked in the arms of the big man. His head lolled back as one tiny arm and his legs dangled; she noticed that he only had one shoe on.

Bobby took some deep breaths and tried to slow his racing heart rate. Annie had been so focused on the child that he doubted it had even occurred to her what could have happened if the car had moved while she was under it.

"Are you OK?" he asked. She nodded and then followed the firefighter. Bobby looked down the road to where Alex was directing traffic. He thought briefly about taking over for her and trying again to get her to stay in the car, but he knew she would refuse. He turned back to the car and the woman still sitting frozen in the driver's seat. He needed to get that car off the road.

The firefighter laid the boy on a grassy patch of ground as Annie came up behind him. They knelt on either side. He put his hand out and said, "My name's Tom Spencer, FDNY." She shook his hand and said, "Annie Paine. I'm an ER nurse at St. Anthony's."

They gently rolled the little boy to check for injuries. There was no blood coming from anywhere except the small amount that trickled from his nose and mouth. His left arm and leg were broken, but Annie was more concerned about internal injuries. She realized how helpless she was to help him out here in the middle of nowhere; no equipment, no surgeons. His breathing was shallow and rapid, his pulse weak and also rapid.

She leaned down close to his face and whispered, "Hold on Baby, help is on the way," and whispered a prayer for him.

Bobby stood at the car, looking at the woman. She still stared straight ahead. He knocked on the window again and called, "Ma'am!" Finally she turned her head towards him and stared at him with blank eyes. "Roll the window down," he yelled. She let go of the steering wheel with one hand and shakily reached for the button to roll the automatic window down. Once it was down, Bobby reached across her to the gear shift and put it in "Park".

She looked up at him and said softly, "I saw something in front of me and now I can't see it."

Bobby said gently, "He was under the tire but we got him out."

"It's a child, isn't it?" The words were spoken so softly that Bobby almost didn't hear them. He leaned down, with his hands on either side of the open window.

"Yes Ma'am, it's a little boy," he said gently. "We need to get your car off the road. Why don't you get out and I'll move it for you, OK?"

She stared up at him for a moment. Bobby reached in, unlocked her door and opened it. He held his hand out to help her out but when she still made no move, he reached in and unbuckled her seat belt. He took her hand and gently tugged until she finally sighed and got out of the car. He stood so that he was blocking her view of the boy lying on the ground. He showed her his badge again and then turned her towards Alex's car.

"Please go stand over there by that car, Ma'am. I'm just going to move your car so that it's off the road and not blocking traffic or….rescue vehicles."

Annie and Tom Spencer knelt wordlessly over the little boy. Annie thought again how tiny he looked. His light brown hair stood out against his pale skin. As she watched, his shallow breathing slowed even more and then stopped. Annie glanced up at Tom.

She wiped the blood off his mouth and nose while Tom opened his shirt and the two of them began CPR; Annie giving him breaths through his small mouth as Tom did chest compressions. Both of them knew that it was unlikely he that he would survive, yet neither of them hesitated to try to save the small, still boy who had little hope.

Bobby got in the woman's car and drove it off the road several yards. He got out and looked around. Eames had traffic moving slowly but smoothly from the direction they had come, but he saw that traffic was backing up on the opposite side of the road as drivers slowed to get a look at the accident. He headed across the road to direct traffic and try keeping a lane open for troopers and an ambulance. He noticed that a small group of people was forming on the opposite side of the highway. There was a small trailer park set back from the road. It was a place for short-term RVs to stay, as well as a small number of permanent small trailers and RVs that people made their homes. The commotion had drawn the attention of the people in the trailer park and they were gathering on the side of the road trying to see what was going on.

As he directed cars to keep moving, he looked back at the driver of the car. She was still next to Eames' car, pacing. She had her cell phone out and she was punching keys over and over. She seemed frustrated as her calls did not seem to be going through. He looked over to where Annie and Tom Spencer were kneeling over the boy and he saw that they had begun administering CPR. The woman looked over at them once, and then looked quickly away and punched keys on her phone with increased agitation.

_Finally, _thought Alex as the first state trooper arrived. Soon there were several. Two of them came to where she was directing traffic and took over. They told her that an ambulance was about five minutes away. She headed back towards where Annie and the firefighter were giving CPR to the little boy. But she veered away as she noticed the group of people on the opposite side of the highway, obviously having come from the rundown trailer park. She thought that the boy must have come from that same trailer park and they needed to find his parents.

As she crossed the four lanes and approached the group, she could hear people murmuring questions and theories. "Can you see what's going on over there?" "Did someone hit a dog?" "I think a car ran off the road." "No, look at those people bending over there—someone must have gotten hit." "That woman over there on the phone, I think she was driving the car."

"I'm Detective Eames with the NYPD," Alex said.

One small, thin woman with long, stringy hair was craning her neck trying to get a look across the road. "Did that lady hit a dog, Detective," she asked. But before Alex could respond, the woman began looking around the group of people. "Kenny," she called. "Kenny? Hey have any of you seen Kenny?" She caught sight of another woman and said, "Hey Karen! Where's Kenny?"

The woman she addressed turned to look at her with a blank look. She was tall and thin. When she spoke, Alex could see her teeth were very bad. _Junkie, _she thought to herself.

"I don't know, I sent him back to your place about a hour ago," she said.

The first woman sighed disgustedly. "That boy is always wandering off! I'm gonna start paddling him good if he don't learn to stay where he's supposed to!"

Alex felt slightly sick to her stomach. She made her way over to the first woman and asked her, "Ma'am, how old is your son?"

"He's five, why?

"And what was he wearing today?"

The woman looked at her quizzically. "Wearing? Umm….I don't remem…..wait, uh, he was wearing jeans and a plaid shirt, why?"

"Was…was he wearing a sweatshirt?"

"Oh yeah! His green sweatshirt with the hood….how did you know?"

Alex took a deep breath. "A little boy was hit by a car over there. He was wearing jeans and a hooded green sweatshirt. Could that be your son?"

"Kenny?! Kenny got hit by a car?! Oh God! Ken! My baby's been hit!" she wailed and collapsed into the arms of a man standing next to her. Both of them began crying and wailing.

The "junkie lady", as Alex thought of her, put her hands on her hips and said, "Well we'll just see about that!" She strode purposefully across the road in the direction of the little boy.

Alex looked quickly at the parents, but they were clinging to one another and showed no indication of moving across the road themselves to check on their son. She turned and followed the "junkie lady", trying to catch up to her longer strides. The woman stormed across the street and began yelling at Annie and Tom before she got to them.

"What the hell do ya'll think you're doin'? You can hurt someone if you don't know what you're doin', you know that? You can be sued!"

Alex caught up to her and tried to intercept her, but the woman began quickly pacing in a circle around them, her voice getting louder as she ranted.

"Do you two hear me?! This is hit and run! That driver better go to jail! And you two best stop what you're doin' and wait for the ambulance! Do you hear me? Hey, bitch! I said stop and I mean right now!"

Annie and Tom had ignored the woman as they continued CPR. But Annie suddenly felt herself lifted up and back as the woman grabbed her by her French braid and jerked her off her feet. She landed on her rear end with her hands under her.

Tom moved into one-rescuer CPR without breaking his rhythm, hoping that the blond nurse could fend for herself. But she didn't have to as her hair was suddenly released. Alex had come up and grabbed the woman by the front of her shirt as she stood over Annie. She roughly shoved her away from Annie and, using her extra pregnancy weight to her advantage, propelled the woman backwards and slammed her body against the car that had hit the boy. She continued to push her backwards until she was lying across the trunk of the car, gaping up at Alex's furious face as she loomed over her.

"You have two choices, Lady. Either you get your ass back across that street and stay there or I'll handcuff you, throw you in the back of a squad car, and haul you off to jail. What's it gonna be?"

As soon as the woman released her hold on her hair, Annie scooted back over to the boy and seamlessly took over respirations, while Tom continued chest compressions. He spared a quick glance up at the very small, very pregnant, very angry detective manhandling the woman, who was a good four inches taller.

Two troopers relieved Bobby directing traffic and he headed back across the street just in time to see a tall woman crossing the road with Alex seeming to be in pursuit. He broke into a run as he saw the woman grab Annie by the hair and pull her away from the boy. But by the time he reached them Alex had pulled the woman off of Annie, shoved her against the car, and was now quick-marching her back across the road with one arm bent behind her back. He approached Annie, wanting to make sure she was alright. But he said nothing as he could see she was completely focused on what she was doing.

He heard Alex ask in a low, angry voice, "Are you related to that boy?"

"N…no," the woman stammered. "I'm his babysitter."

"Well I hope they don't pay you much, because you aren't worth much as a babysitter."

The wail of a siren sounded and soon an ambulance came into view. It approached the spot where the boy was lying. There were people from the cars that had pulled off the road gathering around and Bobby moved them back to give the paramedics room to pull up close. The paramedics came around to the back of the ambulance and pulled out a large case and a gurney.

They pulled the gurney up next to the boy and one of them asked Bobby, "Can you tell us what happened?" Bobby told them as quickly and as briefly as possible the details of the accident, the placement of the boy under the car, and the actions of himself, Annie, and Tom.

One of the paramedics nodded and told Annie and Tom to stop CPR as they checked for breathing and pulse. She had a glimpse of blue eyes as they checked pupil reaction, but it was difficult to tell for sure because his pupils were fixed and dilated. He told them to resume as one quickly attached pads for the automated external defibrillator (AED) and the second one struggled to get an IV started. The AED monitored the boy's heart rhythm.

"Asystole," one of the paramedics stated.

Annie and Tom resumed CPR as the second paramedic administered medication through the IV. After two minutes they were told to stop while the paramedics checked the AED again. There still was no rhythm and they began CPR as the paramedic administered another dose of medications. Again there was no rhythm after two minutes of CPR. They tried once more with the same lack of response.

One of the paramedics shook his head and told them, "This is not going to be a good outcome, guys. We need to get him to the hospital where the doctors can evaluate him and…." He trailed off.

_Pronounce him dead, _Annie completed the sentence in her head. They lifted him onto the gurney and continued CPR as they wheeled him to the ambulance and lifted it in.

"Are the parents here," asked one. "One of them can ride to the hospital with us."

Alex walked up and said, "The parents are across the street but they refuse to come over here or to ride in the ambulance."

"Alright, then we're outta here!"

Annie and Tom stood outside the ambulance and the paramedics took over. One of them fitted a mask over the boy's mouth and nose and pumped oxygen through an ambu bag, while the second paramedic continued chest compressions. The second paramedic took over both compressions and respirations. The first paramedic got in the driver's seat and pulled out as he radioed the hospital with details of the patient they were bringing in.

Bobby, Annie, Alex, and Tom all stood for moment and watched the ambulance drive away. Bobby moved to put his arm around Annie and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Are you OK?" She nodded silently. "The boy?" he asked. She looked up at him sadly and shook her head "no".

Bobby looked back over to where the driver of the car was still pacing next to Alex's car. She was talking on the phone, gesturing with her free hand. She ended that call and once again began punching keys. Bobby quickly kissed the top of Annie's head and squeezed her shoulders, then walked towards the woman.

"Ma'am?" he said, approaching her. She looked up at him. He noted that she had dark hair and eyes. She looked to be Indian and he had noticed an accent earlier. She continued to stare at him wordlessly, the cell phone open in her hand. "Ma'am," he tried again. "Are you alright? Did you call someone to come and get you? I don't think you should drive right now."

"I…I called my husband…" she said.

"And he's coming to get you?"

"No…no, I told him to go to the hospital."

"The hospital?" Bobby asked.

"I told him to go to the hospital to check on the boy's condition," she explained. "I…I'm trying to call my son to come and get me, but I can't seem to remember his number."

Bobby sighed and ran a hand across his face. "You should call your husband back and tell him to come here."

"But I want him to go see how the boy is," she said.

"The boy….the boy is gone," Bobby told her as gently as he could.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide. "B…but….they were…..I saw them…doing…CPR."

"They did CPR," he agreed. "But….he's gone."

The color drained from her face and she stood very still; Bobby thought she almost looked as though she had stopped breathing. He reached one arm around her shoulders very gently. At his touch, her face crumpled and tears began to flow. He pulled her against his chest and let her tears wet his shirt as great, wracking sobs shook her body. She clutched the front of his shirt with both hands.

Annie watched Bobby talking to the woman and started to follow him. But when she saw Bobby put his arm around her and realized she was crying, she stopped and turned back to where Alex and Tom were still standing.

"Thanks for pulling that woman off of me," she told Alex.

Alex shrugged and turned to look across the street. The woman had started back across the road, but she took one look at Alex and turned back. However, she was moving around writing down license plate numbers. She was still talking loudly and gratingly, but Alex couldn't hear the words. She saw the parents talking to a state trooper, who was taking notes.

Another trooper walked over to Alex, Annie, and Tom and said that he needed to get their statements. Alex said that she would talk with him first and turned to follow him. The adrenaline that had been coursing through her since coming around that curve and seeing the small boy standing next to the road drained from her and she suddenly felt nauseous. She stopped and gasped as her hands went to her tightening abdominal muscles. The contraction wasn't particularly strong or painful but it took her by surprise. Annie and Tom were by her side instantly.

"Alex! Are you having a contraction?" Annie asked as she put and arm around her shoulders.

Alex took a deep breath as the contraction faded. "I…I'm OK. Really," she said as Annie looked at her with concern. "It's just one of those Braxton-Hicks contractions. I've been having them occasionally for the last few days." Annie looked unconvinced. "Seriously, Annie, I'm OK. The doctor says it's normal."

"Well, I want you to go sit down," Annie said firmly. She looked around and spotted one of the squad cars a few yards away. "You are going to sit in the back of that car and you are not going to argue with me." Keeping her arm around the smaller woman's shoulders, she gently propelled her towards the car. "Officer," she told the trooper, "Detective Eames needs to sit down and she's going to sit in the back of your car. You can talk to her in a few minutes." He nodded and moved to open the back door for them.

Alex complied and climbed into the back of the car. Annie turned to Tom and said, "Would you mind staying with her for a few minutes? I'll give my statement first while she rests."

"Sure," Tom told her. "Go ahead; I'll stay here." He went around to the other side of the car, opened the door, and got in next to Alex. He was as tall as Bobby and a bit more muscular and Annie resisted the sudden urge to giggle at the sight of the large man folding himself into the cramped back seat.

She turned to walk a few feet away with the trooper. She froze as she suddenly caught sight of a small tennis shoe lying in the road. The image of the very small, pale boy engulfed in the arms of the large firefighter rose up in her mind. She remembered seeing one foot with a tennis shoe that matched the one lying in the road, and the other small foot covered by only a sock. Tears welled up but she fought them back, took a deep breath, and turned to look at the trooper as he asked her to relate what she knew.

Bobby stood silently with his arm around the woman. Her sobs began to slow until she was crying quietly. Finally she took a deep, shuddering breath and pulled back, wiping her face. He took a large handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her wordlessly. She took it with a grateful look and wiped her eyes and her face. She looked up at him, her face red and tear-streaked.

"I'm a doctor," she said. Bobby didn't respond, but waited for her to continue. "I'm a doctor and every day I handle life and death situations. I should have helped that boy, but I couldn't even get out of my car. I just sat there praying, 'Please, please let that be a dog. Please don't let it be a child under my car.' I thought as long as I didn't get out of the car, it didn't happen. I should have helped him," she repeated.

"There was nothing you could have done," he said softly. "Your reaction was normal. Those life and death situations that you handle in the hospital are not happening to you personally. You can detach your emotions enough to be objective, to see what needs to be done and to do it. But when it is happening to you, it's harder to keep those emotions under control, harder to be objective." Her eyes filled with tears and Bobby put his hands on her upper arms. He leaned down to look at her face. "You are not to blame for that boy's death," he told her firmly. "You had no way of knowing he would be there on the road or that he would walk into the path of your car. And there was nothing you could have done to save him."

She looked at him for a moment as the tears fell again, silently this time. She closed her eyes and nodded. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Now you need to call your husband back and tell him to come here and take you home," he said. She nodded again and he let go of her arms as she turned away and dialed her husband's number again.

A trooper came over to get the woman's statement. Bobby asked him to give her a few minutes to talk to her husband first and offered to give his statement in the meantime. After giving telling the trooper what he had seen, he walked with him over to the doctor's car. They both looked it over and Bobby was surprised to see that there was no damage to it at all.

After calling her husband, the doctor was calmer, although she could not bring herself to come near the car or look at it. She told Bobby that her husband and son were on their way and her son would drive the car home for her. Bobby left her with the trooper, giving her statement.

Tom Spencer looked out at the growing dusk and then over at the detective sitting next to him. She had laid her head back and closed her eyes. Her hands were gently massaging her pregnant belly.

"It'll be dark soon," observed Tom.

"Mmm-hmmm," Alex answered.

"Uh, are you feeling better?" he asked.

Alex raised her head and looked at him. "Yeah, there haven't been any more contractions. I told Annie I was fine. Look, you don't have to stay here and babysit me. I'm fine."

Tom grinned at her, "Hey, I'm a firefighter. I'm not abandoning my post. That little blond nurse looks kind of tough." Alex chuckled and shook her head. Tom reached his right hand towards her and said, "We didn't really have time for proper introductions. My name's Tom Spencer, FDNY."

Alex shook his hand and said, "Alex Eames, NYPD Major Case Squad."

"Eames? I know an Eames over at Engine 42."

"That would be my brother," she replied.

"Really? Small world isn't it? He's a good man."

"Yes, he is," Alex said, proud of her brother.

"Uh, when are you due?" he asked.

Alex let out a loud sigh. "Three more weeks."

"Is the, uh, father excited?"

Alex leaned her head back and closed her eyes again. She just didn't have the energy to explain that she was a surrogate for her sister and brother-in-law. So she said quietly, "The father is very excited….and so is the mother."

Tom didn't know what to make of that comment, so he said nothing. A trooper came over to the car and asked Alex if she was ready to give her statement. She nodded wearily and climbed out of the car, with a bit of assistance from the trooper. Another trooper asked Tom to give his statement and he followed him a few feet away.

As Alex was giving her statement, Annie wandered over to where the small shoe still lay on the asphalt. She noticed that the green sweatshirt that Tom had pulled off the boy was lying near where they had pulled him from underneath the car. The police had finished taking pictures of the scene, so she picked up the shoe and then the sweatshirt. She took them to one of the troopers and asked that he make sure the parents got them back.

Finally the statements had been made and the four of them gathered near Alex's car. The doctor's husband arrived and took her home, followed by their son driving her car. She thanked Bobby for his help before leaving. Tom and Bobby introduced themselves. Then Tom shook hands with all of them and said he should be getting home. As he shook Alex's hand he paused for a moment with her small hand between his two much larger ones.

"Take care of yourself, Detective," he said. She just nodded at him.

They all watched the big firefighter jog back down the road to his car. It was getting dark now. Annie and Bobby both looked at Alex with concern. She looked dead on her feet. Bobby wanted to tell her he would drive back to the city, but he thought she would refuse and possibly get angry. Alex did not care for any signs of weakness in herself. However Annie knew she was much more likely to get away with bossing the small detective, so she held her hand out. Alex looked at her quizzically.

"Your keys, hand them over," Annie said. "Bobby is going to drive and you are going to rest."

Alex opened her mouth to argue, but then thought better of it. _I'm exhausted,_ she thought. _Maybe just this once it will be nice to let someone else fight the traffic._ She silently reached into her pocket and pulled the keys out. She handed them to Annie who handed them to Bobby. They all got in the car, with Annie in the back seat again, but this time behind Alex on the passenger side.

They rode back in silence, each lost in their own thoughts about the events that had just transpired. At Annie's insistence, and over Alex's protests, Bobby dropped Annie at their house to get the SUV and then he drove Alex home. Annie ran in to tell the babysitter and the kids that they would be home soon and she drove to Alex's house. Before leaving she gave Alex a hug and told her to call if she needed anything.

Home at last, Bobby paid the babysitter and walked her home. They didn't talk about the events of the day as they moved through their evening, preparing dinner, getting the kids' baths over, bedtime prayers and stories. Finally the children were asleep. Annie desperately wanted to take a long hot shower and try to wash away the grime of crawling under the car and kneeling in the grass doing CPR.

Alex warmed up some leftover pasta she had in the refrigerator, but she wasn't very hungry. She took a shower and tried to read, but she couldn't concentrate. The images kept running through her head. Seeing the boy in the road with his green sweatshirt pulled up as he stood there swinging back and forth, watching him the rearview mirror as he stepped into the road, seeing him disappear from sight, and the "bump, bump" of the car. Finally she settled in bed and turned the TV on. She flipped through the channels and came across "Casablanca" just beginning. She sighed and pulled her pillows around her to support her back and her stomach. She settled in to watch Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart. She didn't even make it half-way through the movie before falling into a deep sleep.

Bobby settled on the love seat in the bedroom with a book while Annie got in the shower. After a few minutes he gave up trying to read. The adrenaline had drained and left him exhausted. He couldn't stop the images that were running through his head. The sight of the boy in the road, getting out of the car and not seeing him anywhere, then finding him under the car. The memory of Annie under the car and realizing that it was still in gear still made him feel like a vise was squeezing his heart. The grief of the doctor as she realized she had hit the boy and that he died. Seeing a very pregnant Alex pull a crazy woman off of his wife. He sighed, got up, and crossed the room to the bathroom.

Annie quickly shampooed her hair and lathered her body. She rinsed off and then just stood under the hot spray, letting it pound her back. She closed her eyes and tried unsuccessfully to shut out the images. Seeing the little boy lying under that car with his leg under the tire, how pale his skin was, and how surprised she was at how little blood there was. As she remembered doing CPR on the small boy, knowing that it was hopeless, the tears she had refused to shed all evening welled up and ran down her cheeks. She let her tears flow, mixing with the hot water pouring over her. Silent at first, the sobs began somewhere deep inside her. She turned and leaned back against the wall of the shower and covered her face. Now her sobs were no longer silent; she gasped with the force of them, her body shaking.

She heard the glass door slide open and then close. She didn't look up but she could feel him in front of her. Bobby stood there for a moment watching her. He reached out and gently pulled her to him. She went into his arms gratefully, wrapping her arms around his waist, rubbing her cheek against the hair on his chest. He held her tightly against him and laid his cheek on top of her head, against her wet hair. She continued to cry and shake. Neither of them spoke; they simply stood holding one another as the water poured over them.

**End chapter 6**

Another BIG thank you to Spookycc. She really earned her beta money this time. What? Oh yeah, she doesn't get paid to beta! Well, she earned my undying thanks anyway! Maybe not as valuable at the bank, but it's all I have to offer. She asked a simple medical question that I couldn't answer and it sent me off on days of research that proved I needed to tweak it just a bit. Thank you again Spook!


	7. Chapter 7

FAMILY

**FAMILY**

**CHAPTER 7**

_I don't know about all of you, but after that last chapter I am more than ready for a little Mike and Sarah fluff. So here we go with The Date._

_Thank you, Spook, for beta'ing and for doing it so quickly—I know you have a busy schedule. And thank you to Flashymom for suggestions and information on jazz music, about which I know very little. _

Sarah stood in her garage looking at the two cars, trying to decide which one to take. Until she walked into the garage she had planned on taking the Volvo. But now she wasn't so sure. She ran her hand down the cold, gleaming, black metal fender. From the way that Mike had reacted to Derek's Ferrari the other night, she knew he would appreciate this car.

But was it disloyal to Tony? What would he think about her using his car to impress another man? She looked at the car and could almost see Tony's laughing face as he told her, "Hey, you don't need this car to lure a guy, Beautiful. All you need is that smile." She took a shaky breath and made up her mind.

Mike saw her as soon as he walked in the door of Peter J's. She was sitting at the end of the bar and had placed her purse on the seat next to her. He realized that she was not only saving a seat for him, but she had positioned herself in a way that discouraged anyone else from approaching her while she waited. That thought pleased him immensely.

The bartender was serving her a glass of red wine and she laughed softly at something he said. Sarah was wearing a black, clingy skirt that fell to just above her ankles. Small black buttons ran in a straight line from the waist band to just above her knees, leaving the skirt open and showing off her shapely calves. Her dark teal silk shirt had a V-neckline that revealed just a hint of cleavage. A delicate gold necklace lay against her dark skin.

As he approached, she turned and saw him. His breath caught in his throat at her smile and he hoped he was smiling back. She picked her purse up from the seat and he slid onto it.

"Am I late," he asked, nodding towards the wine.

"No, I was early and thought I would have a wait. But you're early, too."

"I'll have a Scotch, Sammy," he told the bartender. "So we were both early. Is that because we are dreading this date and want to get it over with, or because we can't wait for it to start?"

Sarah giggled. "You tell me why you are early first, and then I'll tell you why I'm early."

"Oh I definitely couldn't wait for the date to start," he said with a smile.

When he smiled at her, Sarah was momentarily speechless and breathless. She had been overwhelmed with how handsome he looked in his dark gray suit and dark blue tie with a light blue and pink plaid design. She finally took a sip of wine and managed to say, "Me too."

Mike reached over and laid his hand on top of her left hand, rubbing her ring finger with his thumb. Again she found herself speechless and worried that he was going to think she was an imbecile by the end of the evening.

"You aren't wearing your ring," Mike said.

She took a breath to clear her head. "Well, like I told you, wearing a wedding ring while on a date just seems like a breach of etiquette."

He chuckled and removed his hand from hers. They talked about the weather and the Yankees' disappointing World Series loss as they finished their drinks, and then Mike asked if she was ready to go.

As they stepped out of the bar Mike said, "My car is parked over here."

"Oh, I thought maybe we could take mine," she said as she took his hand and tugged him in the opposite direction. She stopped in front of her car and looked to see Mike's reaction. She wasn't disappointed as his eyes widened in surprise.

"This is your car? This isn't what you were driving the other night!"

"It's my other car," she smiled.

Mike whistled in appreciation and walked around the black convertible, looking it over.

"Cadillac Series 62…what year? 1960?"

"Yes, it's a 1960. Would you like to drive?"

She dangled the keys and smiled at him. Mike grinned and took the keys as he said, "Oh yeah!" He opened the passenger door for her with a flourish. He ran his hands over the red leather seat before getting in the driver's seat. "I think I just died and went to heaven," he said as the powerful engine roared to life.

Sarah wondered if this was a male thing. The Cadillac was beautiful and she enjoyed driving it, too. But Mike's reaction was very much like Tony's had been every time he drove it. Was it testosterone that caused this kind of reaction to things that were metal, shiny, and had powerful engines?

"This car is incredible! Where did you get it?"

"It belonged to my husband, and before that to his grandfather. Tony's grandfather bought it brand new; the first new car he ever bought, he said. That was eight years before Tony was even born. His grandfather loved this car and cared for it like it was a baby. Tony said that his earliest memories of his grandfather were driving around in this car. From the time he was about twelve, Tony would beg to just be able to wash it for him. On his sixteenth birthday, his grandfather gave it to him. He had the convertible top replaced first because it was pretty well worn. Tony loved it just as much as his grandfather did and treated it just as carefully. The first time we….uh….went on a date, it was in this car."

"Your first date, huh?" Mike chuckled at the way she blushed when she realized that she had revealed more than she intended to. Not wanting to embarrass her (although he found her very appealing when she blushed), he changed the subject. "Do you drive the Cadillac to work?"

"Sometimes. I try to drive it enough to keep everything working. But it is an old car with a lot of miles on it and I don't want to have to put a lot of money into it. Luckily, Tony found a great mechanic years ago. I don't know a lot about cars, and it shows. But I know when I take either of the cars to Lewis, that he will be honest and fair."

The closest parking space Mike could find was two blocks away from the restaurant. It was a small jazz club and it was obvious from the way the waiters and bartender greeted him that he came here often. They were seated at a small table far enough away from the band to be able to enjoy the music and still carry on a conversation. She found that Mike had good reason to like the place; the food was good and music even better.

Throughout dinner they discussed jazz, arguing the merits of lyrics versus scat versus free-form. Sarah launched a spirited defense of lyrics, while Mike maintained the purity of scat. They talked about the greats like Ella Fitzgerald and Scatman Crothers. Both agreed that no one could compare with Louis Armstrong.

"Oh I love 'What a Wonderful World!' I love to dance to it," Sarah exclaimed.

Mike found himself entranced by her. Her expressive face became animated when she talked about something she loved; which he now knew included teaching computer classes, books, and jazz. He found himself wanting to disagree with her just so he could watch her face light up as she tried to sway his opinion.

The band began to play the next song and the vocalist sang the first lines of "What a Wonderful World". Sarah laughed in delight. Standing up and grabbing his hand, she said, "Oh, they must be playing this song because they want to see us dance!"

Mike laughed as he allowed her to pull him to his feet and lead the way onto the small dance floor. He pulled her into his arms and they began to move to the music. He was acutely aware of the feel of her hand in his, the sway of her hips, the proximity of her body to his, the scent of her hair just a breath away from his lips. His hand moved from her waist to the small of her back and pulled her closer. She willingly closed the inches between them and laid her head on his shoulder. As her body came into contact with his, Mike had difficulty holding onto a coherent thought. He brushed her hair with his lips before resting his cheek lightly against the top of her head.

Sarah closed her eyes and leaned her head against his shoulder, enjoying the feel of his jacket against her cheek and the faint scent of his cologne. It had been so long since she danced with a man. Not since long before Tony became ill. She had forgotten what it was like to have her hand held firmly in a larger one, another large hand on her back holding her close, to simply relax and allow someone else to lead.

The song ended and she looked up at him with a smile, intending to thank him for the dance. But her words froze in her throat as her eyes met his intense, unsmiling stare. They stood motionless as she became achingly aware of his body against her. He said nothing, but the expression on his face as he gazed down at her caused a blush to creep over her. She thought for a moment that he was going to lean down and kiss her.

The band moved into the upbeat, faster tempo song, "Promises". Mike smiled at her and drew her into another dance. She laughed as he twirled her and began moving in time to the music again. He led her around the dance floor and ended with a dramatic dip that left her heart racing.

As Mike held her chair for her, he noted that she was flushed and slightly breathless. He sat across from her and ordered a red wine for her and a scotch for himself.

"I haven't danced in so long," Sarah said when she could catch her breath. "That was fun."

"Glad you enjoyed it," he grinned.

Mike was tempted to find another subject they could disagree about so that he could watch her argue with him. But he knew that he shouldn't avoid talking about her husband.

"How, uh, long were you married?" he asked. He noticed that she unconsciously reached to twist the ring that was no longer on her finger.

"Fifteen years," she said.

"Fifteen years?!" He wasn't sure what answer he had been expecting, but this certainly wasn't it. "You don't look old enough to have been married fifteen years."

"I know, it sounds unbelievable even to me," she laughed. "But we knew each other our whole lives. Our parents were friends before we were born and so we grew up together. He was just a couple of months older than me. We were high school sweethearts and when we graduated from high school we got married. Our parents tried to talk us out of it, even refused to pay for the wedding or to help us with college unless we waited. But we couldn't be swayed and they finally gave in. We were married in June and went off to college together in September. Our parents did help us as much as they could, but we were poor college students living in a tiny one-room, second floor walk-up. And we thought it was terribly romantic."

"Children?" he asked.

"One, a little girl. Once we finished college, got jobs, and felt we were self-sufficient, we started trying to have a baby. But it didn't happen. The, uh, problem was with me. We went to fertility experts and tried drugs and surgery, but still no baby. Finally we had to decide whether or not to try in-vitro. We decided to adopt instead. After waiting for what seemed like a lifetime, we flew to China to meet our baby daughter. She was six months old when we brought her home. Six months later, Tony was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Six months after that, he died. That was a year and a half ago." She pulled a picture out of her wallet and showed it to him. "This is Jia Li."

He looked at the pretty little Chinese girl in the picture. Her dark hair was cut short. She was laughing as she held a flower up towards the camera in one chubby hand. "She's beautiful. Jah lee?" he sounded out the name.

"Yes. It means 'good and beautiful'. Her birth mother named her and wrote it on a note before leaving her at the orphanage. We could have given her a new name when we adopted her, but I thought about that mother leaving her baby where the people at the orphanage could find her. I imagined her naming her baby Jia Li in hopes it would be an omen that her life would be good and beautiful. And when I saw her the first time, her name just seemed to fit. She is good and beautiful. So we kept her name." She pulled another picture out and handed it to him. "This was taken the day we brought her home."

This picture showed Sarah standing next to a blond man, who had one arm around her shoulders. Sarah was holding a dark-haired baby wrapped in a pink blanket. They were both looking at the baby and smiling. They looked as though they had just been handed the Crown Jewels.

"You seem so happy," he said as he handed the picture back to her.

"Yes, yes we were." She took both pictures and put them back in her purse.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "It must be hard." Her hand was lying on the table between them and he covered it with his hand.

"Thank you. It was hard in the beginning."

"And now?"

"Well, I don't know if it gets easier or if you just get used to it. Maybe that's not it, either. Maybe I've just learned to live with it. Jia Li doesn't even really remember him; I think I've just told her about him and shown her his pictures so many times, that she feels like they are real memories of him."

Mike didn't answer. He kept his hand on hers as they listened to the music. He had watched her expression changing as she talked; from smiling about her high school sweetheart, to wonder when she mentioned her daughter, to sadness as she told about her husband's death. The smile returned as she looked at him across the table and listened to the music.

"I didn't mean to spend the evening talking about my husband," she said apologetically. "Not that there have been that many, but that's the first time I've talked about Tony while on a date."

"I don't mind," he told her. "I'd like to hear everything about you."

She pulled her hand away as the waiter brought their desserts. "Well, right now I'd like to hear about you. I know you're a detective and that you work on Staten Island, but you don't live there. Why is that? Don't you like Staten Island?"

"What's not to like," he laughed. "It's not a bad place; it's just not where I want to be. I was a homicide detective in the 27th precinct. A few years ago I was reassigned to Staten Island."

"But it's not where you want to be….so why were you reassigned?"

Mike sighed, "Well, that's a long, ugly story. Short version is that I punched a city councilman, in public and in front of the cameras. So I was reassigned."

"I remember reading about that…that was you?"

"That was me. Not my finest moment."

"Do you regret it?"

Mike considered the question for a moment before answering carefully. "I regret being reassigned, I regret losing a great partner. Do I regret punching the guy? I don't know. He had it coming, but……I really don't know that I regret it."

"OK," she said, "tell me about those plaid ties. You were wearing one the night we met and another one tonight. There must be a story behind them."

Mike laughed and ran his fingers over the blue and pink plaid tie. "That would be the influence of my first partner after I became a detective, Max Greevey. All I owned were two cheap suits and the first day I worked with Max, he looked me over. He told me that he didn't want to be embarrassed to be seen with me, and if I was going to be his partner I had to dress the part; so after work he took me shopping. He bought me one good suit with three shirts and three ties. Three plaid ties. He said every Irish cop should own some good plaid ties. It just became a thing between us after that. Max would get me a plaid tie every year for Christmas. And another partner, Lennie Briscoe, continued the tradition."

"So, do you only wear plaid ties?" she asked.

"No, I wear others," he laughed. "But I have to admit that the plaid ones are my favorites. Mostly because of Max."

"How long were you partners?"

"Three years."

"And then what? Did Max retire?

"No," Mike said slowly. "He was shot and killed."

It was her turn to put her hand over his where it lay on the table.

"Oh Mike, I'm so sorry."

"You were right, you know? You don't ever really get used to it. You just learn to live with it."

He turned his hand so he could hold hers across the table. They sat in comfortable silence, listening to the euphonious music that filled the small club. Mike didn't realize how late it was until the band announced it was about to play the last song. It was a slow instrumental, so Mike got up and extended one hand to Sarah.

"May I have one last dance for the night?"

She smiled and nodded, placing her hand in his. They moved back onto the dance floor and he held her close as they danced, neither of them speaking for the duration of the song. When it ended they went back to the table and Mike held her jacket for her and then paid the bill, leaving a big tip. They were silent on the ride back to Peter J's. Mike parked the car and turned towards her.

"Is it too soon to invite you back to my apartment for a drink?" he asked softly. Her face was in shadows and he couldn't make out her expression.

"Yes, it is too soon," she said. "But it's not too soon for this."

She leaned towards him and pressed her lips to his. He didn't move for a moment as he returned the kiss. Then he reached over and held her face between his hands as he opened his lips and tentatively touched his tongue to her lips. She opened her lips with a sigh as his tongue explored her mouth; she grasped his jacket in one hand. Mike tilted her head back and trailed kisses down her throat and over to the sensitive skin just below her ear. She closed her eyes and drew in a ragged breath at the sensations of his lips on her skin. He covered her mouth with his again and kissed her deeply for so long she thought she might pass out from lack of oxygen. Finally he pulled back and looked into her dazed eyes.

"I don't think I've engaged in heavy petting in the front seat of a car since high school," he said huskily.

She looked back at him for a moment and then asked mischievously, "So I make you feel young again?"

Mike laughed a deep, sonorous laugh that took her breath away again. He lightly kissed her, then released his hold on her and got out of the car. He went around the car and opening her door, he held her hand as she got out. He held onto her hand as he walked her to the driver's side. As she stood between the open door and the car, he put his arms around her waist and held her close as he pulled her into another long kiss. Her arms went around his neck and she responded to his kiss eagerly. He ended the kiss and pulled his head back slightly so he could look into her eyes. Leaning down with his mouth close to her ear, he whispered, "Maybe next time I _will _invite you back to my apartment."

He released her and turned to walk away, not looking back to see her expression. He smiled to himself with satisfaction as he heard her faint sigh of disappointment.

**End chapter 7**


	8. Chapter 8

**FAMILY**

**CHAPTER 8**

_We will go back to Bobby and Annie for this chapter. It takes place during and after the episode F.P.S._

_Thanks to my beta Spook._

The ER was busy and short-staffed as the flu worked its way through the employees. Several nurses had called in sick so Annie had stayed late, helping until the flood of patients slowed. It was close to midnight when she finally pulled into the driveway. She was tired and feeling a suspicious achiness that she feared was the precursor to the flu.

She didn't have time for the flu. She had to get up and be back at work at 7:00 AM. She also had Thanksgiving to prepare for. It was just over a week away and she had a lot to do. Bobby's mother and brother would be there, as well as her grandfather. The plan was for everyone to arrive on Wednesday and stay until Saturday. She had taken the entire next week off of work so that she could concentrate on getting the house ready and to have plenty of time for cooking. Bobby had thought that having everyone stay for so long was a mistake, but Annie had insisted. Now she was beginning to think he had been right, but it was too late.

She called Bobby when she realized she would be working late. He had sounded distracted and was a bit short with her. The house was quiet and dark when she pulled into the driveway; the children had been in bed for hours. Bobby had left a light on downstairs for her. Before heading upstairs, she checked to see if he was in his office in the basement. The light was on and as she went down the stairs she saw him sitting on the couch reading. He looked up and smiled as she crossed the room and sat down next to him. He put an arm around her as he kissed her and pulled her close. She kicked her shoes off and lay down with her head in his lap.

"Long day," he said as he gently pulled her hair loose from its French braid.

"Mm hmmm," she murmured, relaxing against him and relishing the feel of his long fingers against her scalp. "Long, icky day. How was yours?"

"Fine."

"Didn't sound fine when I called earlier."

"The kids were just wound up and arguing. I was a little frustrated, that's all."

"But work was fine," she persisted.

"Yes, it was fine," he repeated irritably.

"So if I were to call your partner, she would corroborate your story, Detective?"

He sighed and continued to run his fingers through her hair. He knew it was an empty threat. Annie would never call Alex to ask for information about him at work and she certainly would never call Lynn Bishop. But he could see that, tired as she was, she was not going to give up until he told her what was bothering him.

"I miss Eames," he said finally.

"I thought you and Bishop were getting along better."

"We are. It's just that….Eames knows me. She would have caught it."

"Caught what?" Annie asked.

"A perp set me up. He researched my history with Nicole Wallace and Croyden, with Wally Stevens and my interest in patterns. He sent me after the wrong man by throwing a deadbeat dad and an obscure pattern in my path. And I fell for it. Eames would have seen it and realized what was happening. But Bishop just….she just followed my lead. The wrong lead."

Annie lightly traced patterns on his thigh. "Do you know who did it?"

"Yes, and we have a plan to set him up now."

"Then it'll be OK, right?"

"It shouldn't have happened, Annie," he said irritably. "We could have had him already if I hadn't been distracted."

"So who are you mad at? Eames for getting pregnant and not being there, Bishop for not knowing you well enough, or yourself for falling for a trick?"

"All of the above, I suppose," he sighed.

"Well," she said. "Now you know…"

"And knowing is half the battle," they said together, quoting a line from the "GI Joe" cartoons that Annie frequently repeated to the children.

Bobby chuckled and leaned down to kiss her temple. Annie smiled and closed her eyes. Bobby went back to his book as his fingers continued their rhythmic and hypnotic path across her scalp. She hadn't intended to go to sleep, but when she opened her eyes it was morning and Bobby was kneeling in front of the couch gently calling her name. She was lying with her head on a pillow, still dressed from the day before and covered with a blanket. Rather than trying to wake her up to go upstairs, Bobby had tried to make her comfortable on the couch.

Annie's head hurt and the achy feeling from the day before was still there. She decided it must be too little sleep and smiled up at Bobby. She dragged herself up and went upstairs to shower and dress for work. She felt progressively worse as the day wore on. The one bright moment was getting a text message saying Alex had given birth. She called and talked to her for a few minutes. Bobby had already called Alex and had told her that he and Annie would come by the hospital the next day to see her and her nephew.

But by morning Annie knew that her aches were not just from lack of sleep. Her head and body hurt so much that she felt she couldn't move. Yet move she did, as her stomach rebelled against any and all food or liquids and sent her stumbling for the toilet. She insisted that Bobby go to see Alex and the baby without her and give them her love. For the next three days she barely moved from her bed. Bobby kept the children away, hoping they would not become sick too. When he was home, he was solicitous; insisting she at least drink the water and vegetable broth that he brought her, bringing her medications for pain and fever, and at times simply lying next to her with his arms wrapped around her as she slept.

On the fourth day the nausea began to abate and she forced herself to get up while Bobby was at work and the children were at school. For the next few days she cleaned the house to prepare for Thanksgiving, despite lingering aches and pains and a still sensitive stomach. Bobby pleaded to cancel their plans because of her illness, but she refused.

The day before Thanksgiving, Bobby picked up Frank and they went together to get Frances from Carmel Ridge. Grandpa would be coming by train and Bobby expected to be home in time to pick him up as well. Annie spent the day baking and preparing everything that could be prepared ahead of time.

Once Bobby had made his rounds and delivered all their guests, they ordered pizza and settled the children at the table while the adults took their food into the living room to eat and visit. Annie took only a few bites of pizza, which Bobby noticed. They exchanged a moment of silent communication as Bobby's eyes registered concern, to which she returned a smile of reassurance.

The children were overjoyed to have Grandpa, Grandma, and Uncle Frank there all at the same time. There was a lot of laughter and chatter, as the kids vied to tell stories that would make the adults laugh. Bobby pulled out some board games, which sent the three children into paroxysms of joy. Two hours later, all of the adults were more than ready for the children to go to bed. Frances would be sleeping in the extra twin bed in Alley's room. Phillip and Andrew both squeezed into Andrew's twin bed so that Grandpa could sleep in Phillip's. And Frank would be sleeping on a cot in Bobby's basement office.

As they tucked the children in and heard their prayers, Annie reflected on how the evening had gone so far. She was happy that everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Even Frank had been friendly with her. She didn't know if it was because he had forgiven her for turning his drugs over to the police a year earlier or if he was just on his good behavior because his mother was there, but she was grateful.

Annie made coffee for the others and they sat talking. Bobby could see that Annie was tired and pale and insisted that she go to bed. She resisted at first, but finally admitted that she was still feeling tired and achy from the flu and told everyone goodnight. She was asleep much later when Bobby climbed into bed, but she woke up as he wrapped his arms around her. She sighed and snuggled closer to him as he began kissing her. But when his hands slipped under her shirt and began to move across her skin, she stiffened and pulled away.

"What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously.

"If you have to ask, I must be doing it wrong," he grinned.

Annie put her hand on his chest and pushed him away. "You can just get that thought right out of your head, Detective. It's not happening tonight."

Bobby's smile deepened and he chuckled softly as he traced his thumb across her bottom lip. Shivers ran down her spine when he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Are you sure, Babe?"

She hesitated and then pushed him away again. "Stop tempting me," she said as she began to giggle. "We are NOT having sex with your mother and my grandfather across the hall!"

"Well, if you keep laughing like that, they are going to think we're doing it anyway," he laughed.

Annie tried to gain control and finally scooted closer and buried her face against his chest, trying to muffle her laughter. Bobby smiled against her hair and held her tightly. Gradually her laughter subsided and she relaxed against him as she drifted off to sleep.

She was up early to get the turkey ready for the oven. Frances helped her with preparing breakfast. As the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade began, they worked together to get the dinner completed and set the dining room table with Annie's good china. They had decided to "dress" for dinner, so after the parade they all went to change. After changing into a dress, Annie stood at her dresser running her hand over the jewelry box that contained the string of pearls that Frances had given her on her wedding day. The pearls would look good with her dress, but she hesitated. Bobby came up behind her and put his arms around her waist.

"Go ahead and wear them. It'll make Mom happy."

"And drive Frank crazy. You know how he feels about me having them."

He reached around her and pulled the pearls out of the box. She watched him in the mirror as he put them around her neck. His eyes held hers as he waited for her to pull her hair up so he could fasten the necklace. He kissed her neck and smoothed her hair back in place, and then hugged her again before they went downstairs.

She had to admit that everything looked beautiful. The dining room table was set with her china and linen napkins. Even the turkey cooperated, coming out perfectly browned. Bobby carved the turkey, Grandpa prayed a heart-felt prayer of thanksgiving for family, and they all sat down to eat. Annie saw Frank glance at the pearls and smirk at her briefly, but he said nothing. The chatter of conversation and the clink of silverware against china filled the room. Annie and Bobby smiled at one another across the table.

Plates were almost empty and there was a discussion of whether everyone was ready for dessert or wanted to wait a while. Bobby noticed once again that Annie had eaten very little of her food, but did not comment. The consensus seemed to be that it would be better to let everyone's stomachs "settle" before bring out the pies, when Bobby's cell phone began ringing. Annie knew as soon as she saw the look on his face as he looked at the caller ID that he was being called to work. He glanced at her as he put the phone to his ear and walked out of the dining room.

"Yes Captain?" She got up and followed him to the living room, listening to him talk to Captain Deakins. Her heart sank when he said, "Yes sir, I understand. I'll be right there."

"You've got to be kidding," she said as he ended the call.

"I'm sorry, Babe. It's something big. The mayor wants everyone from Major Case on it."

He took her hand as they went back to the dining room to tell the others.

"But, Daddy, we were gonna watch the football game," protested Andrew.

"I'm sorry, Buddy," Bobby said, ruffling Andrew's hair. But you've got Uncle Frank and Grandpa here to watch with you. I'll try to get back as soon as I can, but I can't promise anything."

Frances frowned. "This is very rude, Bobby. You said you weren't working today and you've got family visiting. Just tell them you can't go in."

"I'm sorry, Mom, I can't do that. This is coming from the mayor and none of us has a choice." He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

Annie walked him to the door. "Hurry home. Don't leave me here alone with the Brady bunch for too long." He chuckled as he kissed her.

Everyone helped to clear the dishes, but Annie shooed all but Frances out so she could wash the dishes. She wasn't going to trust her good china to slippery or careless hands. Frank, Grandpa, and the children settled in front of the TV to watch football. Annie washed and Frances dried. Their conversation was pleasant at first. Annie kept Frances laughing with gossip from the hospital and made up stories about people she saw while out shopping.

Frances' mood began to darken as she and Annie joined the others to watch the game. She made several comments about Bobby not being there for a family Thanksgiving. Annie tried to head her off by serving dessert, but Frances just picked at her pumpkin pie and continued to mutter. Frank said nothing, but his amused expression was irritating Annie. She also noticed that all three children were quietly watching their grandmother with widened eyes.

As they gathered the dessert dishes and moved into the kitchen to wash them, Frances began complaining directly to Annie rather than making vague, general comments. She tried to keep Frances in the kitchen for as long as possible, but when she heard the end of the football game on TV she worried that without that distraction the children would focus on their grandmother's grumbling. Annie's head was beginning to ache and her stomach was still queasy from her bout of the flu, making it hard for her to concentrate on ways to distract Frances.

"He promised me! He said that he had the day off and that he wouldn't be on call."

"Mom, he wasn't on call. He couldn't have foreseen this. Everyone in the squad got called in, whether they were on call or not," Annie said wearily.

"He should have told them no! He has family here."

"He's not the only one who had to leave a family gathering. It couldn't be helped."

Out of the corner of her eye, Annie saw the children standing in the doorway, watching their mother and grandmother. She wanted to kiss her grandfather when he came up behind them and started herding them towards the basement.

"Why don't you kids show your old Grandpa these new computer games you've been telling me about." The children hesitated, and then went with Grandpa to the basement.

Frances moved into the living room and Annie followed her. She could see her anger escalating but felt helpless to stop it. She and Frances had always been close and in the past Annie had usually been able to talk her out of bad moods. But tonight was different. The more Annie tried to talk to her, to reason with her, to calm her down, the angrier Frances became. Annie was having difficulty maintaining her usual patience with her mother-in-law. Her headache was getting worse, and her annoyance was rising along with her pain. Having Frances make disparaging comments about Bobby in front of the children made her angry and she knew her voice was showing it. Adding to her irritation was her brother-in-law sitting on the couch watching the two women with a smug expression. He didn't say a word, but he kept a small smile on his face, infuriating Annie.

Frances continued her rant. "If this had been important to him, he would have told his boss he couldn't leave. He would have put his family first."

"Mom," Annie tried to keep her voice calm. "Bobby has always put his family first. But sometimes the job is more urgent, and this is one of those times. He'll get back as soon as he can."

"After he's ruined Thanksgiving! It's bad enough that he doesn't think about his mother or his brother, but he took off without a thought about ruining the day for his children."

This was too much for Annie and when she spoke her voice was sharp. "Stop it! I've put up with your criticisms of Bobby for long enough. I'm not going to stand here and listen to you denigrate his parenting. The kids understand about his work, and mine. They know that there are times one of us can't be here for a holiday."

"They shouldn't have to understand that. They are children and they need to know that they are more important to their father than his job!"

Annie's voice was low and shaking now. "I'm going to tell you again to stop this. You are the one upsetting the children, not Bobby."

"This was supposed to be a special Thanksgiving because Frank just got out of rehab. But it's not special as far as Bobby is concerned. Oh no! His brother comes home after being locked up for a year and what does he do? He jumps at the chance to leave his family cooling their heels while runs off to be the big, important policeman!"

"Bobby was looking forward to this as much as anyone. He didn't want to leave."

"Yes he did! That's what Bobby does. He left to join the army as soon as he graduated from high school. He couldn't wait to get away from me, from his father, from his brother."

"That's history, Mom. He's been back in New York for years. He was here to take care of things when his father died. He has tried to take care of you."

"And what about his brother? You see how he took care of him. He let him get locked up for a year. A year!"

Annie glanced at Frank and saw that his smile had widened. "That wasn't Bobby's fault. He couldn't do anything about Frank being in possession of drugs."

"This was his own brother! He could have done something if he wanted to. He just didn't want to. Bobby has always been jealous of Frank and it made him feel superior to lock his brother away for a year!"

Annie tried and failed to control her temper. She felt detached from the scene, watching it play out in front of her. She knew her next words were a mistake but she couldn't seem to stop them. Her voice rose as she yelled over the top of Frances' tirade.

"Jealous?! Bobby is jealous of Frank?! Are you kidding me? What is he jealous of? Of Frank's gambling addiction? Of his drug addiction? Bobby doesn't need to do anything to make himself feel superior to Frank; he _is_ superior! He has a responsible job; he has a family that he takes care of. What does your precious Frank have? He can't even take care of himself most of the time!"

Frances narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice. "How dare you! You don't know anything about Frank. He has intelligence and sensitivity. It's not unusual for brilliant, sensitive people to have problems with addiction. Bobby knows that. He could have helped his brother, but instead he was happy to see him locked up."

Again, Annie knew she was making a mistake that she would not be able to take back but the words seemed to tumble out of their own volition.

"Bobby wasn't responsible for Frank being locked up. I was."

"What are you talking about?" Frances demanded.

Annie's voice was softer now. "I found the drugs on Frank. I gave them to the police. The detectives were willing to get rid of them because of Bobby, but I was the one who insisted they charge Frank with possession. Bobby was willing to let the detectives 'lose' the drugs, but I pushed him to let them charge him."

Frances was silent now. Annie took a deep breath and continued. "Bobby put up Frank's bail and hired a lawyer—against my wishes. He talked to the Assistant District Attorney who works with Major Case and he arranged the plea deal that allowed Frank to be charged with a misdemeanor instead of a felony. Bobby is the reason that Frank went to rehab for a year rather than prison for five years."

She stopped and waited. Frances looked at her in silence for a moment. Then she stood up and said very quietly, "I am going to bed. When Bobby gets home, you tell him that I want to go back to Carmel Ridge first thing in the morning. And I don't ever want to speak to _you_ again."

"Mom," Annie began, but Frances raised her hand in a regal manner to stop her.

"I mean it, Annie. You have turned against this family and I will never speak to you again."

She turned and made her way upstairs. Annie blinked back tears. She felt as though her head were going to explode with the pain. Now her heart felt like it was breaking as well. In twelve years of marriage, her mother-in-law had never spoken harshly to her. What had begun for Annie as an attempt to earn Frances' approval because she knew what it meant to Bobby had become a genuine friendship. Having someone to call "Mom" for the first time since she was eleven had made Annie truly happy. In spite of her mental illness and her need to be cared for, Annie had come to think of her as her second mother. Frank had been silent through all of this. Now he stood and faced Annie.

"I always knew you were behind that whole arrest thing, Bobby just never told me how much. Looks like Mom finally sees you for what you really are, too." He smiled at her. "Bad move, Annie. Now you'll never get Mom's engagement ring to go with those pearls."

Annie stared back at him for a moment. Then with shaking hands she reached up and unclasped the string of pearls around her neck. She took then and silently handed them to Frank. He looked at her in surprise, then held out his hand uncertainly. Annie dropped the pearls into his outstretched hand. Without a word, she walked over and headed down to the basement with Grandpa and the children.

Grandpa was sitting in Bobby's chair at the computer, with the children around him showing him a computer game. He looked up at her questioningly, but she shook her head slightly as she settled on the couch. She took some medicine for her headache and lay down while she watched Grandpa and the children playing games. They all decided they wanted leftovers for supper, so Annie went to warm them up. Frank had stayed in the living room while she was in the basement, but now he went downstairs. Grandpa took a plate of food to Frank in the basement. He took a plate upstairs to Frances. She politely but firmly refused and said she was going to bed early so that she could get an early start back to Carmel Ridge in the morning.

After she sent the children upstairs to get ready for bed, Annie told Grandpa what had happened. The tears that had been threatening since Frances told her she never wanted to speak to her again finally broke through. Grandpa sat next to her on the couch with his arm around her until the tears subsided. He reached for a tissue and wiped her cheeks gently, assuring her that everything would work out. Annie took the children to her room to read their bedtime story and hear their prayers, and then sent them to bed. She and Grandpa watched a movie and then he kissed her cheek and told her good night.

Annie went to bed but couldn't sleep, so she turned on the light and sat up in bed reading until Bobby came home. It was just past 1:00 AM when she heard the front door open. When he came into the bedroom, he looked very tired. Annie wanted to wait to tell him what had happened, but she knew he would want to know right away. Bobby was surprised to find her still awake. He went to sit on the side of the bed and kissed her.

"Bobby, I need to tell you something," she began, as he got up and pulled off his jacket and tie. "Your mother," she hesitated and he waited for her to go on. "Your mother wants to go back to Carmel Ridge first thing in the morning."

He sighed wearily. "She's mad at me for leaving, isn't she? Babe, I'm so sorry that I ruined your Thanksgiving."

Bobby's ready assumption that he was the cause of his mother's anger only made Annie feel worse. She got out of bed and paced around the room as she haltingly told him what had happened between her and Frances. He listened in silence until she stopped talking and turned to look at him.

"What were you thinking?" His voice was low and tight with anger. "You knew that I didn't want her to know about your involvement in Frank's arrest. What did you think was going to happen when you told her, Annie?"

"I…I just didn't think. I was so…..I was just tired of hearing her say those things about you. I…..I lost my temper and it all just spilled out."

He didn't say anything as he stood and looked at her. She could see the anger in his eyes and in his rigid stance. Annie stepped towards him to apologize when the bedroom door opened and a sleepy and confused-looking Ally came in.

"Daddy, Grandma wants you. She says there are bugs in my room and she wants you to get them out."

Bobby swore under his breath as he strode out of the room. Annie tucked Alley into their bed and then followed him. She stood in the doorway, watching Bobby speak softly and gently to his mother. He searched for the "bugs" and disposed of them and she calmed a bit.

Glancing at Annie in the doorway he said brusquely, "Go wake Frank up, please. I'm taking her back to Carmel Ridge right now and I need someone to sit in the back seat with her."

Annie went down to the basement and woke Frank. She told him what was happening and that Bobby wanted his help in getting their mother back to Carmel Ridge. She had expected an argument from him, but he just nodded and reached for his clothes. Thirty minutes later Bobby and Frank were escorting Frances out of the house. She was calm, but still muttering about bugs. Grandpa had woken up and helped to pack Frances' bag. The twins slept through the commotion.

Being the last one to go out, Frank turned to wink at Annie and say, "Nice work……_Nurse_."

She went back to bed and found Alley sound asleep. Deciding she was too heavy to carry back to her bed and not wanting to wake her up again, Annie let her sleep and crawled into the bed next to her. Bobby didn't return until almost 5:00 AM. He had dropped Frank off at his apartment on the way home. He showered, shaved, changed clothes, and went back to the office. He didn't want to talk about what had happened and simply told her that the staff had gotten Frances settled back in her room and she had gone to sleep.

Grandpa decided to leave early and go back home, saying Annie and Bobby needed time to talk without guests around. But the opportunity didn't come for them to talk as Bobby was busy with the case he had been called in for. He left early in the morning and didn't return until late every night. Annie went back to work, finally free of the flu that had plagued her, and the children went back to school. If they were disturbed by the drama of Thanksgiving they didn't show it, throwing themselves back into school, friends, and extracurricular activities.

The following Saturday night Annie worked late, coming home after the children had gone to bed. She walked into the bedroom and found Bobby standing in front of her dresser, holding the jewelry box that the string of pearls had been kept in.

"Mom called me today and asked me to bring this to her when I go to visit tomorrow."

She said nothing for moment, staring at the box in Bobby's hand. She hadn't told Bobby about giving the necklace to Frank. It hadn't been deliberate; before she had a chance to tell him Thanksgiving night, his mother had needed attention. Then he had been gone such long hours; between his job, her job, and the children there just hadn't been an opportunity to tell him. Although, truthfully, she had been reluctant to tell him knowing he would probably be angry.

Finally she asked softly, "Why?"

"She wants to put the necklace in it."

"Your mother has the necklace," she asked, surprised.

"Yes she does. It seems Frank went to visit her today and gave it to her. He said that you gave it to him on Thanksgiving. He said you didn't want it anymore because you were angry with Mom."

Annie stared at him. "B….but that's not what happened! I never said that."

"Why did you give Frank the necklace, Annie?" Bobby asked quietly.

She could feel tears forming as she searched for the words. "I…I don't know. It all happened so fast. Mom…." Her voice caught on the name she had used for so many years. "Your…..mother was so angry at me and said she never wanted to see me again and my head was throbbing and I just wanted to take back everything I said and then Frank was…..he was just w…..watching everything and smiling like it was a huge joke……and then he made a crack about the necklace…..and I…..I just….I took it off and gave it to him."

Bobby sighed and sat down on the bed. "And you didn't tell me about it. I would have gone and gotten it back from Frank right away if I had known about it. Do you have any idea how lucky we are that he wanted to make you look bad to Mom more than he wanted money? He could have sold it or pawned it and we would have never seen it again. You know how much that necklace means to her, Annie."

She knelt on the floor in front of him, tears running down her face. "I do know, and I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I need to talk to her; to tell her….."

"She doesn't want to talk to you," Bobby interrupted. "And what are you going to tell her? That Frank lied about the necklace? That you gave it to him because she hurt your feelings and Frank was being a jerk? Do you think she's going to listen to anything you have to say about Frank now?"

She couldn't think of anything to say, any way to explain away the things she had said and done. Bobby rubbed his forehead wearily.

"I told you that I didn't want you to tell her about Frank. You knew, Annie, you knew." When she opened her mouth to protest, he put a finger against her lips and continued. "My mother is mentally ill. She is also manipulative, unreasonable, and difficult. And I've been dealing with her my whole life. I don't have the luxury of losing my temper and saying whatever is on my mind just because it might feel satisfying for the moment. I have to constantly think about the effect my words might have on her in the moment and in the future." He sighed sadly. "I thought you got that, too."

"Bobby…" she whispered, but couldn't continue because of her tears.

He held her face between his hands, wiping her tears with his thumbs. Annie thought her heart would break at the look in his eyes. There was no more anger, just disappointment and sadness.

"This is bad, Babe," he said softly. "For twelve years you've been the daughter she never had, and without the baggage that mothers and daughters have. For her it went deeper than the manicures and the gossip and the shopping. She really loves you. And now she thinks that you turned on the son she has always needed to protect and that you threw away a gift that not only connected her to you but to her own mother."

She wanted to tell him that it went deeper for her, too. But no words would come. Bobby continued looking at her for several moments and then pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his back and buried her face in his solid, comforting chest. He rested his cheek against her hair.

"It'll be alright," he said finally. "It will blow over eventually. Just give it time, Babe."

He pulled her onto the bed and stretched out next to her. He kissed her gently at first, then more deeply as his hands began to roam across her body. He made love to her, neither of them speaking. They touched one another's bodies with a familiarity born of twelve years of lovemaking. They responded to one another with the same familiarity. But as they lay in the dark later, entwined in each other's arms, Annie had the unsettling thought that this time had been different somehow. Bobby had seemed detached somehow, as though part of him was watching her, analyzing her. She tried to push the thought away and just concentrate on the sound and feel of Bobby's heart against her cheek.

**End chapter 8**

15


	9. Chapter 9

**FAMILY**

**CHAPTER 9**

_I know you may be expecting another Mike and Sarah story. But for continuity I need to stay with Bobby and Annie a little longer, with a bit of Alex thrown in. I think I only have two more chapters for Mike and Sarah in this story anyway; unless it runs off with me while I'm writing, which happens from time to time. The time frame for this chapter starts just before "Unrequited"._

_And thanks as always to Spook for catching all my typos!_

Alex sat in her sister's living room, in the rocking chair that her mother had rocked her and each of her siblings in. She was holding her nephew close to her as she fed him a bottle. It had been two weeks since she had strained and pushed, sweat pouring from her, to bring this amazingly perfect child into the world. It was still hard to believe that she carried him inside of her, under her heart, for nine months. While they had seemed endless months at the time, now it seemed as though they had passed in the blink of an eye.

Because the pediatrician assured them that breast milk, even if it was pumped and then fed to him in a bottle and even if only for a few weeks, would give him the best start in life, she had made the commitment to provide for him at least until she returned to work. The bottle she was now feeding to him was, in fact, milk pumped from her own breasts. Her sister was also supplementing with formula. As the time approached for her to return to work, Liz would gradually replace the breast milk with formula. While Alex was willing to continue providing breast milk until he was old enough to be weaned from the bottle, she knew that her work would make it difficult at best.

She smiled as she thought about the look on her partner's face if she excused herself from a crime scene to go out to the car and pull out a breast pump. On the other hand, it probably wouldn't faze Goren in the least. He would most likely quote some obscure article from the AMA Journal of Medicine about a little-known benefit of breast-feeding and then go back to poking and sniffing a dead body.

She hugged the solid little body closer to her and inhaled the intoxicating baby scent of him. She gazed at the porcelain skin of his face and watched as one tiny hand kneaded her larger hand as he sucked on the nipple of the bottle. His eyes were closed and periodically he would suddenly stop sucking and smile around the nipple as though enjoying some beautiful dream. Then he would begin sucking again.

She wondered how it was possible to be so deeply and completely in love with someone she had only met two weeks ago. No, she had met him much earlier than that. She had known this child intimately from the moment he first made her throw up. She had felt the changes he brought to her body, seen the first signs of her belly expanding and growing round, felt him move inside her, flutters at first and then by the last month strong kicks and what felt like somersaults, the hours of labor with great, wracking contractions and warm amniotic fluid flowing down her legs. During the hours of labor she had felt as though she and this baby were working together on some important, life-changing event. And so they were.

She was unprepared for the emotions that rushed through her at her first sight of him; wrinkled, slimy, covered in vernix, face red and scrunched in protest, as angry cries announced that so far he was not impressed with his new environment. Alex had felt a new and intense love that was both possessive and protective. It was unlike the love she had for her parents or her sister and brothers. Unlike, even, the deep passionate love she had shared with Joe.

She looked at him now, at his pink mouth forming a perfect O around the silicone nipple and had a sudden urge to feel that mouth around her own nipple. She wanted to give him, not just her milk, but her breast as well. To feel the sucking pull on her breast, causing her uterus to contract. To have his white lace-draped bassinet next to her own bed in her own house. To wake up at 2:00 AM to the sounds of his insistent cries and reach over to pull him into her bed, cuddle his warm body against hers, and nurse him back to sleep. This tiny body had grown inside hers and felt like it was part of her own. Yet he wasn't a part of her, no more than any nephew was a part of his aunt; he had grown inside her but his DNA had come from Liz's egg and Bill's sperm. He was completely and totally their child.

She took a deep breath and looked around to see where her sister was, afraid the expression on her face would give her away. Liz had been ecstatic when Alex confirmed she was pregnant. But about the time Alex began to feel the baby move for the first time, Liz had begun to watch her carefully for signs of regret. Since his birth she could feel the eyes of every one of her family silently following her, especially when she was holding the baby. She could almost hear their thoughts. "Is she sorry she did this?" "Does she wish he were her baby?" "Was it a mistake to ask her to do this?" "Is it reopening the pain of losing Joe and the dream of children they had planned to have?"

The truth was that there were times, like now, when she wanted more than anything to take him away with her and never let him out of her sight. But the image in her mind of seeing Liz's face as she watched her son emerge from her sister's body and the sheer joy and wonder as she held him for the first time renewed her own delight at being able to do this for her. She didn't regret it for a moment.

But she was tired of constantly proving to everyone that she was _OK_, that she wasn't about to fall apart at being separated from him. If she could truly share her occasional feelings of wishing he _was_ her baby, of wishing that it were she and Joe standing with their arms around one another as they watched him sleep, of wishing that she is the one who would one day hear that precious word "Mommy" coming from him, maybe then those feelings would dissipate and fade. But she could see the guilt on Liz's face as she watched Alex with him and knew that no one in her family would understand that they were just _feelings_ that were temporary and were not going to destroy her.

She sighed and thought about the four weeks looming ahead before she would return to work. Work. That was what she needed. Work had been the only thing that saved her from the deep grief after Joe was killed. She needed to be behind the wheel of the department-issue SUV and drive her peculiar partner to a crime scene. She needed to pull on latex gloves and walk carefully around blood spatters. She needed to bounce ideas and theories off of Goren and have him bounce his own off of her. She needed to feel the exhilaration of catching someone in a lie and saying, "No see…" as she and Goren ripped apart a suspect's legerdemain. She needed to work.

The baby had finished the bottle, so she set it aside and lifted him up on her shoulder and patted and rubbed his back until a loud burp rocked his body. She held him for a moment, nuzzling her face against the downy softness of his hair and enjoying the feel of him cuddled against her. Then she got up and carefully laid him in the bassinet. Alex went to the kitchen where Liz was making lunch.

"I'm going back to work," she announced.

Liz looked up in surprise. "In four more weeks," she said.

"No, I can't wait that long. I'm going home right now and calling Captain Deakins."

"But Alex, you're supposed to be off for six weeks! You can't go back now. Your body needs time to recuperate."

"I'm fine, Liz. Really. I'll take it easy and sit at the desk until I'm ready. But I'm going crazy at home. I need to be back at work."

Liz looked at her and Alex saw the self-doubt and guilt forming in her expression. She went over and hugged her.

"Liz, you know that I wouldn't change a thing," she said softly. "But I need to get back to my life."

Liz hugged her back, and then wiped her tears. She nodded and said, "OK, Alex. You know what you need better than anyone else. Do what you need to."

Alex stepped back and wiped her own tears. "I'll keep pumping breast milk before and after work for a few weeks, but you'll need to start weaning him to formula completely."

Liz nodded and they hugged again before Alex left. She drove home and settled on the couch. She took a deep breath and then pushed the speed dial. He picked it up on the third ring.

"Deakins," said the voice at the other end.

Annie was curled up on the couch, reading. It was a quiet Sunday afternoon and she had the house completely to herself. It was a bit unsettling. When her days off fell during the week, she would be alone in the house while the children were in school. But usually she was busy cleaning, sewing, or she went to the church to work in the soup kitchen. To have an entire afternoon alone with nothing she had to do should have been a dream come true. But the reason she was alone was because Bobby had taken the children to Carmel Ridge to see his mother. Frances had not relented and still refused to see Annie.

After his first visit without Annie, she realized that she wouldn't be there to give Frances a manicure. It had become a routine for them; something that they both enjoyed, along with gossip or listening to Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin. Annie called the administrator and arranged for Frances to have a weekly manicure from the girl who came to the facility three days a week. She also arranged for her to have a pedicure once a month. Annie told the administrator that she would take care of the bill, but to tell Frances that Bobby was responsible for the arrangements.

The phone rang and Annie looked at the caller ID. "Eames, Alex" it said. Annie picked up and said, "Alex! How are you? How is that beautiful nephew?"

"Still beautiful," laughed Alex, "and growing incredibly fast. I had no idea that if you blink you will miss something."

Annie laughed with her. "Be careful or the next thing you know he'll be graduating from high school."

"I can't even imagine that right now," Alex sighed. "Is Bobby home?"

"No, he went to see his mother this afternoon."

"Without you?"

Annie hesitated and tried to keep her voice cheerful when she answered. "Yeah, there were some things I needed to get done around here. So Bobby took the kids with him to Carmel Ridge. He has his cell phone if you need to talk to him. Or I can give him a message."

"Well," now it was Alex who hesitated. "I just wanted to let him know that I'll be coming back to work tomorrow."

Annie laughed merrily. "Oh brother! I needed a good laugh today, Alex!"

"I…uh…I'm serious, Annie."

Annie sobered. "You can't be serious Alex! It's only been two weeks!"

"I know. I just need to get back to work. I'm going crazy here at home. I called Captain Deakins a little while ago and talked to him about it. I'll take it easy, but….I, well, I can't explain, but I just need to do this. I just wanted to let Bobby know. I know there'll be comments and questions from the others, but I thought maybe Bobby would…just…let me be. You know?"

"Sure, I understand. Do you want me to tell him?"

"Yeah, that would be great. Thank you, Annie."

"You're welcome. You know….if you ever want to talk….about anything…I can be a good listener."

There was silence for a moment and Annie waited. Finally Alex said softly, "I don't regret having him, you know?"

"But…..?"

"But sometimes I can't help wishing he was mine. Mine and Joe's. I have these moments of feeling so jealous of Liz. And then I feel guilty because she tried for so long to have a baby and I really, really wanted to do this for her."

"Well, I can't say I know anything about being a surrogate mother, but that sounds normal to me. You carried him for nine months, went through labor and delivery, and now you have all these hormones rushing around; hormones that are meant to promote bonding with the baby you just gave birth to."

"You aren't worried I might go off my rocker and kidnap him?"

"Hardly." Annie laughed. "I don't see Alex Eames going off her rocker."

"My family all look at me like I might snap any minute. I feel Liz worrying that she has ruined my life by asking me to do this." Alex sighed. "I just need to concentrate on something else and get away from all this scrutiny."

"I understand," Annie told her. "If this is what you need to do then do it. Just don't _over_do, OK?"

"I promise, Nurse," Alex laughed. "Will you give Bobby the message? And…you can tell him the rest if you want. I just don't want to have to answer a lot of questions at work."

"I'll tell him. And don't worry. There probably won't be as many questions as you think."

They said good bye and Annie hung up. She settled back on the couch with her book and tried to concentrate. She offered up a little prayer for Alex, her sister, and the baby. Finally she got up and went next door to see her friend, Janey. Janey left her husband in charge of their children and she and Annie went to a movie. It was a fun, relaxing, diverting afternoon.

She had dinner ready by the time Bobby and the kids returned home. As they ate and throughout the evening, the children kept up a constant chatter about their day with Grandma. Annie side-stepped once again their questions about why she hadn't gone with them. Bobby was quiet all evening, not saying much about his mother. Since Thanksgiving there had been a distance between them, evident even when they were making love, and Annie was at a loss to know how to bridge it.

After the children were in bed, Bobby disappeared as usual to his office. Annie followed him down to the basement, finding him at his desk reading. She sat in the chair on the other side of the desk, feeling a bit like a job applicant being interviewed by a prospective employer. He looked up at her, smiling as he put his book down. She didn't speak right away, drawing designs on the smooth oak desktop with her fingertip as they both waited in silence.

"So….how is your mother?" she finally asked.

"She's fine. No more episodes."

Annie was quiet for a moment. Finally she laid her hand on the desk and looked up at him.

"Did she…..has she….." Bobby waited for her to continue. "She….hasn't changed her mind, has she?"

"No," he said softly. Annie swallowed and nodded her head. She put her elbow on the desk and rested her chin on her hand, giving Bobby a small smile of resignation.

"Mom said she had a manicure yesterday," he said. "Her nails looked nice." He stopped for a moment and looked at Annie. "She thanked me for arranging for her to have a manicure every week."

"You didn't….you didn't tell her that I arranged it, did you?"

"No, but I thought maybe I should."

Annie smiled again. "No, let her think it was you. If she knew it was me she would probably refuse them, and it's such a small thing that gives her pleasure. Let her enjoy them."

Bobby reached across the desk and laid his big hand on top of her smaller one. Annie looked at their hands and fought back the tears that always seemed close to the surface these days. When she felt in control enough to speak again, she gently pulled her hand away and sat back in her chair.

"Alex called today," she said. "She wanted to let you know that she's going back to work tomorrow."

Bobby frowned. "After two weeks? Is that even safe?"

"It should be OK if she takes it easy. She already called Captain Deakins and talked to him. She wanted to let you know, too."

"So why is she going back so soon?"

Annie told him about her conversation with Alex earlier. "She knows people will be curious, but she doesn't want to have to answer a lot of questions. Maybe you could run interference for her?"

Bobby nodded his head in understanding.

"I guess I'll go to bed now, I have to work tomorrow," she said, getting up.

"OK. Goodnight Babe. I'll be up later," he said as he picked up his book.

The tears threatened again briefly as she realized that this was something else that had shifted in their relationship. Bobby used to go to bed with her and hold her until she fell asleep before getting back up to read or research. But since Thanksgiving he hadn't done that, instead telling her that he would "be up later".

As she went around the desk to leave she stopped for a moment and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. Bobby closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. His arms went around her waist and he pulled her onto his lap. He kissed her gently and then held her close with her head on his shoulder. They stayed that way for several minutes without speaking. Annie sighed and kissed his cheek once more before getting up and heading upstairs.

The pull of Christmas magic was powerful and Annie fell into the rhythm of the season as she always did, despite her heartache over Frances and her worry about the invisible barrier that seemed to exist between her and Bobby. The family performed all the traditional rites; decorating, baking, shopping. Bobby attended her church's Christmas program, showing obvious pride in his children singing with the Children's Choir and his wife singing with the regular choir. Annie also sang a solo, "O Holy Night". This year Allie accompanied her on the piano, and she was pleased with the surprised smile on Bobby's face.

Since Frances had been in Carmel Ridge, Annie had sung for the Christmas program presented for the residents each year. This year she worked in the church's soup kitchen while Bobby took the children to the program. As with every visit her family made to her mother-in-law these days, Annie tried to stay busy and not let sadness overshadow the fun of the season.

Bobby took Frances Christmas shopping. Usually he only took her shopping for Annie's gift. In years past Annie would take her shopping for everyone else and they would make a day of it, stopping to eat lunch at a nice restaurant. She thought about calling Frances to see if she at least wanted Annie to take her shopping for Bobby, but thought better of it. She called the administrator at Carmel Ridge and she assured Annie that one of the staff would help Frances with Bobby's gift.

She was scheduled to work on Christmas Day and she encouraged Bobby to make plans to take the children to visit his mother while she was working. On Christmas Eve they allowed the children to open some of their presents before going to the candlelight service at church. They would open their stockings in the morning before she left for work and they would all open the remainder of the presents Christmas night after she got home. They tucked three very tired but excited children into bed after the candlelight service. They went downstairs to fill the three stockings that had been left out for Santa and went to their own room to exchange their traditional Christmas Eve gifts.

The tie that Annie gave to him was a silk black and burgundy. She had always loved shopping for ties for him because she thought he looked so handsome in a suit and tie, and she had a special fondness for woven silk ties. His gift to her was always lingerie, much more revealing than she would ever buy for herself. She had often wondered if it embarrassed him to shop for them. He usually bought black as he particularly liked the way it contrasted with her blond hair and light complexion. But this year he had chosen a white teddy accented with red silk ribbons. The ritual of trying on the teddy had the customary effect of making her feel as sexy and desirable as she looked to him and they made love. It was tender and passionate at the same time, and Annie was almost able to convince herself that nothing had changed between them.

As usual, Allie was the first one awake on Christmas morning, waking the twins up and then leading the procession into their parents' room. Bobby and Annie both groaned as Phillip and Andrew jumped in the middle of the bed, but they got up, pulling on robes, and allowed themselves to be dragged downstairs. After watching them open their stockings, Annie went upstairs to get ready for work. The Christmases when Annie or Bobby had to work tried the children's patience, but they had grown used to having to wait until evening to open the majority of their presents.

Before she left, Annie added a gift-wrapped box to the packages set aside for Bobby to take to his mother. She hadn't been sure if Frances would want to exchange gifts, but she hadn't been able to resist buying the scarf for Frances when she came across it while shopping. She had hesitated when wrapping it, not knowing what to put on the gift tag. In the end she simply wrote what she always did, "To Mom, From Annie". She kissed the children and Bobby before heading out into the snow and cold.

It was a slow day in the ER and Annie was grateful that she didn't have to stay late. She arrived home to find all three children's faces in the window watching anxiously for her. She laughed at the sight of their excitement when she finally walked in the door. They settled down to open gifts with Christmas music playing on the radio, and she reveled in the sights and sounds of her family. Bobby was very appreciative Annie's' gift of the newest book by one of his favorite historians, Dr. Adlai Copeland. He had found an exquisite dress for her to wear to the New Year's Eve party they attended every year and she marveled once again at his taste and ability to find exactly the perfect dress for her.

Annie had opened all of her gifts when Bobby handed her one more, saying it was from his mother. Her breath caught in her throat and she felt tears sting her eyes. She took a deep breath and smiled at Bobby.

"I wasn't expecting anything from her," she said softly with a glance at the children. They were caught up in their own gifts and hadn't heard her. But when she looked back at Bobby she saw a brief flash of sadness flicker across his face before it was replaced with a smile.

She pulled the paper off and opened the box beneath it. Allie crawled over next to her to see what was in the box. It was a journal, bound in purple leather, with her name embossed in silver letters on the front.

"Oh Mommy, it's beautiful," Allie exclaimed.

"Yes it is," she breathed as she pulled it from the box. She opened it to see if Frances had written anything to her inside, but it was blank. That was unusual. Frances always wrote a short note inside any book she gave as a gift. Realization began to dawn on Annie as she reached for the gift wrap she had dropped on the floor and examined it. There was no gift tag.

Bobby couldn't fake his mother's handwriting. This had not come from her mother-in-law; it had come from her husband. She glanced up at him, understanding now the sad expression he had covered up so quickly. She met his gaze and unspoken communication passed between them. She knew the truth; he knew that she knew. She smiled to let him know that she appreciated his attempt to protect her.

Dinner was a simplified version of the normally lucullan Christmas feast that Annie prepared on the years she didn't have to work. After dinner they settled down to play some of the games that the children had received. They both had to work the next day, so after the children were in bed Annie got ready for bed herself. Bobby was downstairs cleaning up the remnants of wrapping paper and boxes.

Alone in the bedroom, Annie went to Bobby's closet and looked at the shelf above his suits. She saw nothing out of the ordinary up there, so she squatted on the floor and pushed aside the row of hanging pants. In the back corner of the closet, behind his shoes, she found it. She pulled out the gift-wrapped package and sat on the floor in front of his closet looking at it. The gift tag was still in place: "To Mom, From Annie". She smoothed her finger over the tag. She was still sitting on the floor looking at the package when Bobby came into the room. She looked up and met his eyes. He walked over and sat down next to her, facing her with his left thigh touching her right one.

"Did you….did you give it to her?" she asked softly.

"Yes," he said. "I gave it to her and she just handed it back to me. She didn't say anything and I didn't want to bring it up in front of the kids. So I just slipped it under my coat and brought it back home."

Annie nodded and sighed, looking at the package again.

"Babe, I'm sor….." he began, but she reached up and placed her fingers on his lips.

"Don't. _I'm_ sorry, Bobby. I know it's hard to be caught between your mother and your wife. I never wanted that to happen, I really didn't. I wish I could go back and undo what I said to her."

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers, and then put his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist and inhaled the faint spicy/musky scent of him.

"It's going to be alright," he said. "She'll get over it eventually. She's been mad at me and refused to see me before. She always gets over it."

Annie didn't answer. She knew that this was different from the times Frances had been mad at Bobby. Bobby was her son. For all that she and Frances had shared over the years, Annie was not her daughter. And now she had crossed a line with Frances that not even Bobby had ever crossed; he had never forced his mother to choose between him and Frank.

Just as her relationship with her mother-in-law had shifted and might never recover; there was a slight but distinct shift in her relationship with her husband. They had always been allies in every aspect of their lives, able to share anything. With his mother she had been more than just a sounding board for him; she had been an active participant whom he could rely on to help carry the burden when it became difficult. But now Frances was effectively cutting her out of a very big part of Bobby's life. Annie wasn't sure that simply being there to listen to him and offer opinions would be enough.

Bobby took the gift from Annie and got up, helping her to stand up as well. He put the package back in the closet, closed the door, and led her to bed.

**End chapter 9**


	10. Chapter 10

**FAMILY**

**CHAPTER 10**

_We will catch up with Mike and Sarah with this chapter._

_Thank you to my beta, Spook._

Sarah smiled as she reached for the water bottle on her desk. She wrapped her hand around the cold bottle. It was still partially frozen and when she lifted it to her lips to take a drink the water was very cold, just the way she liked it. Her coworkers made fun of the frozen water bottles she lugged to work every day, but she ignored them. She liked cold water and this was the best way she knew to make sure she had plenty to get through her work day. She also liked the way the frozen one-liter bottles felt in her hand, solid and hefty…and cold. She had laughingly told Penny that if she were ever mugged she could use one of the bottles as a weapon. The down-side of the frozen water bottles was that as they thawed the outside of the bottle sweat and became very wet. She always had a cloth on her desk to sit the bottle on to prevent water from getting on any of her paperwork, prompting more teasing from her coworkers.

As she absent-mindedly drew designs in the water droplets on the side of the bottle her thoughts drifted to a dark-haired, handsome detective. She smiled to herself as she thought of his hazel eyes staring into hers as they danced or sat talking in a restaurant. Sometimes she thought that he might be capable of hypnotizing her with those eyes as she found herself unable to look away.

They had been dating for a month and she found herself smiling at the silliest things, such as his name on the caller ID of her cell phone when he called. She hadn't felt this giddy since…..well, since the early days of her courtship with Tony. This just made her feel even sillier, since it had been a long time since she was a high school girl in love. But the butterflies in her stomach continued no matter how she castigated herself.

She sighed and collected her thoughts, looking up at the clock. It was time to get ready for "Story Time"; the children and parents would be arriving soon to hear her read to them. She picked up the books she had chosen. Today it was "Toddler Story Time" and she would be reading to the 3-6 year old crowd. She enjoyed this part of her job as much as, if not more than, the computer classes she taught to adults. The children were mostly well-behaved and she loved watching their enrapt faces as she read. Usually her mother brought her own three year old daughter for Story Time. But today Jia Li had a cold and Sarah decided she should stay home, much to the toddler's disappointment. Sarah moved about the small room where they would be gathering, making sure there were plenty of large pillows for the children and parents to sit on. She looked up and smiled as the first child arrived.

Mike Logan walked up the stone steps to the library and through the doors. He smiled as he thought of the look on his partner's face when he volunteered to act as courier and deliver a report to one of the Manhattan precincts. He found that he looked for any excuse to go into the city, always timing it so that he would be finished with business in time for lunch. So far he had managed to show up at the library about once a week to ask Sarah if he could take her to lunch.

Seeing Penny in the stacks putting books away, he went over to ask where he could find Sarah. Although she was married, Penny obviously found Mike handsome and was always flustered when he spoke to her. Mike flirted with her outrageously, causing her even more discomfort. Sarah laughed at him and called him a sadist. But then, Sarah's laughter was really what he was after anyway.

Penny told him that Sarah was reading to the children and pointed him in the right direction. He found the room where she was sitting on the floor, surrounded by a large group of small children and their parents. He leaned against the doorframe watching her as she read. As always, he enjoyed watching her when she wasn't aware of his presence. He found himself captivated by her voice and her expressions.

She was reading "All Those Secrets of the World" and Mike thought he detected a hint of tears in her eyes and a tremor in her voice as she read. The children were all silent, giving her their full attention. When she finished the book she smiled as she held up the next book. This was obviously a popular choice as the children all clapped their hands and shouted, while the parents laughed. Everyone quieted down as Sarah opened the book and began to sing, "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see?" Mike smiled as the children and parents joined her in singing their way through the book. This must be the finale every week because as soon as they had finished singing, Sarah told them how happy she was to have seen them all and hoped to see them next week. Mike stepped back as children and parents began to leave. He watched as several of the children surrounded Sarah where she still sat on the floor. "Mith Tharah, Mith Tharah," they all tried to capture her attention as they showed her the books they were checking out.

As the children finally drifted out of the room, Sarah began gathering up her books. She looked up to find Mike walking towards her and she smiled as he knelt next to her and helped her to gather the books into a pile.

"Well, 'Mith Tharah', that looked like fun," he teased as he helped her to stand.

"It was fun; I love Story Time," she laughed.

"Can I buy you lunch?"

"Absolutely! Let me put these books away and I'll be ready to go."

She put the books on a cart to be put back on the shelves and got her coat. They walked three blocks to a small diner that they liked, holding hands and talking about mundane things like the weather. As they ate, Mike reached over frequently to touch her hand. He rubbed his finger across her wedding band.

"So how was your Thanksgiving?" he asked.

"It was wonderful. And crazy!" she laughed. "My family has to make such a production of holidays. Thanksgiving is a whole four day weekend event. Relatives come from out of town and even out of state. There are the required football games, of course."

"You play football?" he asked, trying to conjure up a picture in his mind.

"I'll have you know I play tight end," she told him archly.

Mike laughed out loud at the thought of her trying to block other players.

"Hey, I made a touchdown!" Which only made Mike laugh harder. Sarah tried to frown at him with offended pride, but she gave up and laughed with him.

"We all met at my Uncle Jimmy's house this year," she continued when they finally stopped laughing. "I had a houseful of out of town relatives staying with me. There are always lots of relatives, lots of kids running around, lots of embarrassing stories, and lots of food."

"It's hard for me to imagine a big family get-together like that."

"And how was work on Thanksgiving?"

"Actually, kind of quiet and boring. What's the world coming to when you can't even count on a bunch of domestic disturbance calls on Thanksgiving?"

They both laughed. "So, do you always work on Thanksgiving?" Sarah asked.

"Thanksgiving, Christmas…I always figure the guys with families need the time off. And the holiday pay ain't bad," he smiled.

They finished their lunch and walked back to the library. Before she went back in, Mike pulled her into a secluded area on the side of the building. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She responded eagerly, leaning into him with a sigh.

"I haven't seen you in over a week," he said softly. "Can't tell you how much I've been wanting to do that."

"Me too." She looked up at him and reached up to run her finger across his lower lip.

"Can I see you tonight?"

She sighed and rested her forehead against his chest. "I can't tonight. Jia Li has a cold and I need to stay home with her." She looked back up at him. "Maybe this weekend?"

"Yeah, this weekend. I'll call you, OK?"

He kissed her again and then walked her to the front door of the library, leaving her there with one last chaste kiss. Sarah watched him walk away before turning and going back to work. In the month that they had been dating, they had gone out at least two nights a week and often he showed up at the library for lunch. Mike had invited her up to his apartment several times, but so far she had made excuses about needing to get home to Jia Li.

She knew what would happen if she went home with him and she really couldn't say why she was avoiding it. She was certainly attracted to him and the attraction seemed to be growing by leaps and bounds. But every time she thought about what making love with Mike Logan would be like, she found Tony invading her thoughts. Tony. He was the only man she had ever had sex with. He was her high school sweetheart, they had married right out of high school, and they had been married for fifteen years. The idea of sex with another man left her feeling vaguely guilty. She knew it wasn't fair to Mike to keep making excuses, but so far he had been unfailingly sweet and understanding.

Almost three weeks later, Mike locked his apartment door and headed down the stairs of his building. It was Saturday night, five days before Christmas. He and Sarah had a date and it would be their last date until New Year's Eve. As with every holiday, it seemed, her schedule was full of activities with her daughter and her large extended family.

It was two months since they met and began dating. He found her as fascinating as the first night he met her. But he was beginning to wonder if he had made a mistake. He had never dated a widow before and he wondered if a year and a half was too soon for her. He had assumed that she must be ready if she was already out dating. But the more time he spent with her, the less sure he was.

They had not made love although he had invited her to his apartment many times. But she always said she had to get home to her daughter. As disappointing as that was, he understood that she had responsibilities. However, there were other things that concerned him. Just like tonight, Sarah never let him pick her up or take her home. Usually they met at Peter J's. She had never even given him her address or home phone number. He knew both, having given into his curiosity and used NYPD resources to look her up. He understood her reluctance in this area, too. She was a single mother and needed to be careful of who she invited into her daughter's life. But then there was the ring. She always removed her wedding ring when she went out with him, but he knew that she wore it the rest of the time. He dropped in on her at work on occasion and she was always wearing it. He wasn't sure what the protocol was for widows, but he thought that wearing her wedding ring might just mean she still felt married. In which case, Mike didn't know where that left him.

Sarah watched him walk into the bar and look around for her. She smiled when he spotted her sitting in the booth. The way his face lit up when he found her boosted her ego just a bit. He ordered a Scotch on his way to the booth. Sarah had placed a gift-wrapped package on the table and Mike set another one next to it. Rather than sit in the seat across from her, Mike dropped his leather jacket into that seat and slid in next to her. Without saying hello, or giving her time to say it, he pulled her to him and kissed her deeply. She slid her arms around his neck and responded enthusiastically. When he pulled back, Sarah blushed as she realized that the waitress had brought Mike's Scotch while they were occupied. Mike chuckled and released her to reach for his drink. Sarah took a shaky sip of her red wine.

"How was your day," he asked with another chuckle.

She took a deep breath, hoping her racing heartbeat would slow a bit. "It was good. Today was the 'Annual Mother-Daughter Nutcracker Suite Trip'. Very girly," she laughed. "This year there were six moms and eight little girls. The girls all dressed up as Clara." She pulled a digital camera out of her purse and showed Mike a picture of the group. Sarah was kneeling with her arms around Jia Li. Sarah sighed, "I used to be one of the little girls dressed as Clara. It's amazing to do this with my own little girl now."

"She's beautiful," Mike told her as she put the camera away. He leaned close and whispered in her ear, "And so is her mother," sending a tingle down her spine.

They talked for a few minutes, finishing their drinks. Mike reached for the gift he had brought in and handed it to Sarah, saying, "Merry Christmas." She smiled and began to pull the wrapping paper off, revealing a box set of CDs. It was "The Ultimate Collection", a three-disc collection of Louis Armstrong recordings.

"Oh Mike," she exclaimed. "I love it!" She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Now open yours," she said, handing him the gift she had brought. His eyes widened as he opened the package and saw a vinyl recording of Scatman Crothers' "Big Ben Sings".

"Where did you find this," he asked, running his fingers over the worn record cover.

"I have my sources," she laughed. "I guess we were thinking alike—jazz."

"Guess so," he said softly and leaned over to kiss her again. "Thank you. We should get going if we want to eat dinner before the movie. Did you bring the Caddy?"

Sarah laughed and pulled the car keys out of her purse, holding them out to him. They went to dinner and then to see a Christmas movie, "Love Actually". Sarah loved it; Mike tolerated it, declaring it a "chick flick". Afterward, they stopped at a diner for pie and coffee. Mike watched with amusement as Sarah added three sugars to her coffee and then carefully added milk until it was the perfect "taupe" color. "Not beige, not eggshell, it MUST be true taupe," she had told him the first time he watched her ritual.

"We could take our Christmas presents back to my place and listen to them," Mike told her. "CDs are great, but there is nothing like the sound of Scatman on vinyl."

She reached over and drew designs on Mike's upturned palm where it lay on the table between them. When she did little things like that, Mike had an urge to drag her to his apartment, rip her clothes off of her, and make love to her all night. He settled for closing his fingers around hers and taking a deep, shaky breath as he waited for her answer.

"I wish I could, Mike, but I need to…"

"….get home to Jia Li," he finished for her. "Would you need to get home if I wanted to just sit here and talk for another couple of hours?"

"What do you mean?" she asked with a frown.

"I mean…do you have to get home because of the time or because I asked you to come to my apartment?"

"Mike…I…." she faltered.

Mike squeezed her hand and said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean to sound…..well, like a dog. Believe it or not, I really do like you for your mind," he said with a laugh. "The fact that you're drop-dead beautiful is just an added bonus. One that drives me crazy sometimes."

She didn't answer, but a blush crept over her features. Mike wasn't sure if it was embarrassment from his compliment or his suggestion. They finished their pie and coffee in silence, and it hung over them as they drove back to Peter J's. Sarah seemed lost in thought and didn't look at him during the drive. Mike parked on the street, mid-way between his apartment building and Peter J's. They stood next to the car and Mike searched for a way to break through the silence between them. He leaned his hands on the car, on either side of her.

"Thank you again for the record," he said softly.

"And thank you for the CDs."

"Are, uh….are we alright?" he asked.

Sarah looked up at him and said, "I was going to ask you that."

"We're alright if you aren't mad at me for being a jerk."

Sarah smiled and put her arms around his waist. "I'm not mad and you aren't a jerk."

Mike wrapped his arms around her and lowered his head to kiss her. Sarah got into the car and Mike leaned in to kiss her before closing the door.

"See you New Year's Eve?" he asked.

"New Year's Eve," she confirmed.

Mike watched her car until it was out of sight, then turned towards his apartment building. Letting himself into his apartment, he hung his coat up and went to the bedroom to change into sweatpants and a tee-shirt. He put the record Sarah had given him on to play then went to back to his bedroom. He lay in the dark and listened to Scatman Crothers, thinking about New Year's Eve and Sarah.

Over the busy days leading up to Christmas, Sarah tried not to think about Mike's question. She knew Jia Li was only an excuse to avoid being alone with him, and now he obviously suspected that as well. The truth was that she simply didn't know what she wanted. So she tried to push it from her mind and concentrate on Christmas and Jia Li, with limited success.

As usual, they went to Tony's parents' house for Christmas Eve. It was always an extravagant affair; Tony's sisters and brothers were there with their families. Santa made an appearance with a present for each of the children. Because Sarah and Jia Li would be spending Christmas Day with Sarah's family, they exchanged gifts that night. Then they went to Sarah's parents' house to spend the night. Her brother and sister also spent the night with their children. The children woke everyone up early to open presents. They had a simple breakfast and then began preparing for the big dinner. This year Sarah's parents would be hosting and lots of relatives would be gathering.

Throughout the day Sarah watched her family closely. She realized for the first time just how few single adults there were, and she was the only single parent. As she watched all the couples interacting, she suddenly felt alone. Late in the afternoon, she walked into her father's study and found her Uncle Jimmy in there with Jia Li. He was reading to her from one of the books she had received for Christmas, but she had fallen asleep in his arms. Sarah took her daughter upstairs and put her to bed in her own childhood bed. Heading back downstairs, she ran her hand over the smooth wood of the balustrade, and then stopped to sit down on one of the steps. She listened to all the happy chatter coming from the kitchen and living room. She smiled as Uncle Jimmy sat down next to her on the step.

"I remember reading that same book to you when you were her age," he said.

"When I was her age, you were eighteen. I doubt that reading to a toddler is every teenager's dream."

"Hey, it was great having you around. Teenage girls love babies. You were a chick magnet. 'Isn't she just the cutest thing? Oh, Jimmy looks so sweet with his little niece.' You were the best thing to come along in my high school years."

Sarah laughed at the thought of her uncle as a teenager, using her to attract girls. He reached over and took her hand.

"So, what's goin' on, Kiddo? Why are you sitting here all by yourself?"

Sarah sighed. "I was just thinking that the national divorce rate is close to 50%. But this family is way below the national standard."

He chuckled and said, "Yeah, there haven't been too many divorces in our family." He smiled at her. "You know, there are some people who think that's a good thing." When she didn't answer he added, "But maybe all these happy couples are hard to be around when you're missing your husband?"

She closed her eyes as a tear trickled down her cheek. He put his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"After Angie's father died, a minister told her that it takes about two years of holidays to really get over the death of a loved one. Two Thanksgivings, two Christmases without that person before you begin to get used to him not being there. Before you're ready to move on."

"Well, it's been two Thanksgivings and two Christmases without Tony. In a week it will be two New Year's. Jia Li has had….." her voice broke for a moment. "…two birthdays without him. So am I ready to move on?"

Uncle Jimmy kissed the top of her head. "Only you know when you're ready to move on, Kiddo. Just be careful of two things. Don't rush into anything you aren't ready for, but don't hold back out of fear or guilt." He stood up and pulled her to her feet. "C'mon, I'll let you buy me an eggnog."

On New Year's Eve Sarah dressed carefully. She was wearing a pleated plum skirt that fell to just above her knees. It had a nice twirl to it that would make it perfect for dancing. Her blouse was white silk with long sleeves. Her legs were shown off to advantage by the silver strappy heels.

She had arranged for Jia Li to spend the night with her parents so that she wouldn't have to worry about being home by a certain time. In fact she didn't need to worry about coming home at all, which is exactly what she wanted. Mike Logan didn't realize it yet, but she had decided that tonight would be The Night. It was time to move on and she couldn't think of a better way than to spend the night with Mike.

They met, as usual, at Peter J's and then took Sarah's Cadillac to the jazz club where they had their first date. She was nervous, thinking about going home with Mike later, but she relaxed as the night went on. He was charming as always, making her laugh often. They danced, they talked, they mingled with other people. At midnight, Mike pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Then they joined with the others in singing "Auld Lang Syne." Mike ordered champagne and they toasted the New Year.

He led her back onto the dance floor for a slow dance. She felt him inhaling the scent of her hair. His breath was warm on her cheek, his lips close to her ear. His hand on her back was causing tingling down her spine.

"We should probably leave soon, so that you can get home your daughter," he whispered into her ear. Her nervousness returned as butterflies danced in her stomach.

"I…don't…um, actually….Jia Li is spending the night with my parents." She hoped her voice didn't sound as shaky to him as it did to her. "I don't have to go home at all tonight."

Mike stopped dancing. He pulled his head back and looked down at her for a moment. Taking her hand, he led her off the dance floor. He stopped next to their table, and then turned to look at her again holding her hands in his.

"What are you saying, Sarah?"

"J…just that…I…" She looked away from his face and tried to concentrate on his tie as she stared at his chest. "I thought maybe you could….show me your…um…apartment," she said softly.

He put one finger under her chin and lifted her face so he could look into her eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked. She took a shaky breath and nodded her head.

Mike got their coats and they left the jazz club. They were both quiet on the drive back to his apartment. Once inside, he hung up their coats and his suit jacket, and then escorted her to the living room. He could see that she was nervous, so he offered her a glass of red wine. While he went to the kitchen to get drinks for them, she wandered around the living room. She looked at the books on the bookshelf and at his large collection of vinyl records. Mike brought their drinks out and put Frank Sinatra on as they settled on the couch. They talked about music as they finished their drinks.

Mike put his hand against her cheek, running his thumb over her lips. He leaned forward and kissed her gently. He touched his tongue to her lips, then probed deeper as she opened her mouth to him. He pulled her into his arms and continued to kiss her deeply. Sarah sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt his solid chest against her, then his thumb brushing the side of her breast through her silk shirt and her heart felt like it might skitter out of her chest. He began to leave soft kisses across her eyes and her cheeks, moving down to kiss her neck and just under her ears. Sarah groaned softly and her breath caught in her throat.

Mike stood, pulling her to her feet. He kissed her again and pulled her blouse free from the waistband of her skirt, sliding his hands underneath to touch the warm skin of her belly and waist. She gasped at his touch and leaned into him even closer. Without breaking contact, he began to back her towards his bedroom. He paused just outside the bedroom, pushing her against the wall as he began to unbutton her shirt. She reached up to loosen his tie.

As she unknotted his tie, unbidden memories of Tony flashed in her mind. Memories of Tony kissing her and touching her, of them undressing each other and making love. She tried to push those images from her mind. This was Mike kissing her, Mike who was touching her, Mike who wanted her right now. And it was Mike she wanted. So why were her hands trembling as she finished untying his tie and moved to unbuckle his belt?

Mike hadn't had very much to drink, but he felt intoxicated by the scent of her and feel of her silky skin under his hands. His heart was pounding and there was a roar in his ears. He felt her hands loosening his tie and moving to his belt. It took an enormous amount of self control to move slowly and not rush her. He had her shirt unbuttoned and he began kissing her throat, moving down to leave soft kisses across her chest.

As he moved lower to trace kisses along the lacy edge of her bra, he slowly realized something was wrong. She had been trembling at his touch, but now she was quaking intensely. She was fumbling with his belt but couldn't seem to get it unbuckled. He knew that when they started, she was as passionate as he was. But something had changed and now he could feel that she was afraid. Mike put his hands over her hands to still them. He kissed her gently and pulled her hands away from his belt.

"M…Mike?" She opened her eyes and looked up at him. He smiled down at her and began to button her shirt. "What are you doing?" she whispered, still shaking.

He didn't answer until he had finished buttoning her silk shirt. He put his hands on the wall on either side of her head and pushed himself away until he was no longer in contact with that soft, lovely body he wanted so much. Mike leaned over to place a soft kiss on her cheek, and then answered.

"I'm stopping both of us before we do something we'll regret."

"B…But why?"

"Because you aren't ready."

She put her hands on his chest and looked up at him, her dark eyes wide. "I am ready. I want this."

He placed one hand over both of hers. "No, you want to want this. But you're scared."

She couldn't meet his gaze and looked down at his hand over hers. "I…I'm just nervous."

Keeping his hand over hers, he placed his other hand under her chin and tilted her head back up until she was looking into his eyes.

"I know the difference between nerves and fear, Sarah."

She continued to look up at him as his hand moved from her chin back to the wall next to her head. "I…I'm sorry, Mike," she said softly. "I really did want tonight to be the night. I thought…" she hesitated.

"You thought what?"

"I thought it was time."

"It'll be time when we're both ready, and you aren't ready." He lowered his voice and grinned mischievously. "When we make love, Sweetheart, you'll be trembling with desire and begging me _not_ to stop."

Sarah blushed and then started to giggle. "Well, someone has pretty high self esteem."

"I just call 'em like I see 'em." Mike leaned down and kissed her, then straightened and led her towards the front door. "I don't want to rush you or anything, but I need to get you safely back in your car so I can come back here and take a cold shower."

At the door, he helped her on with her coat and pulled his on. Before opening the door, she turned to him.

"Mike, I…." He stopped her with a kiss.

"Don't apologize. It'll happen when it happens."

He walked her to her car and before she got in he pulled her into his arms and kissed her again.

"I'll call you tomorrow, OK? Maybe we can go see a movie this weekend," he said, and she nodded.

She got in the car and he closed the door. He sighed as she drove away. He shoved his hands into his coat pockets and walked back to his apartment.

**End chapter 10**

14


	11. Chapter 11

**FAMILY**

**CHAPTER 11**

_This chapter moves back to Bobby and Annie, and I threw in Alex Eames and an OC we met in chapter 6—Tom Spencer. It begins with New Year's Eve 2003, takes us into late January 2004, and will reference the episode "Pas de Deux"._

_Thank you, as always, to my beta Spook. _

Annie loved New Year's Eve. She always felt like a princess at a ball. That feeling was partly because of the dress that Bobby gave her for Christmas every year, chosen especially to make her look and feel sexy. It was also partly because her tall handsome husband was as close to Prince Charming as she had ever seen in real life. A big part of the feeling was because every year they attended a party at a very nice restaurant owned by their neighbor, Rob's, brother. And then there was the dancing! She loved dancing with Bobby anytime, but somehow it was always magical on New Year's Eve. Fast or slow, every dance was intoxicating. There was never a question as to how the evening would end once they returned home and sent the babysitter home.

They were sitting at a table with their neighbors, Rob and Janey, and another couple, Jim and Lois. A few times over the last few years, Alex Eames had joined them with a date. But tonight she said that she was staying in and babysitting her nephew so that her sister and brother-in-law could go out. Everyone at the table was laughing at a story Rob had just told. Annie looked at Bobby and was happy to see him laughing and relaxed. The tension between them since the debacle at Thanksgiving seemed to have dissipated tonight and they were simply enjoying being with one another and with friends. His right arm was resting on the back of her chair and his fingers were drawing designs on the bare skin between her shoulder blades, making it difficult for her to concentrate on the stories being told at the table.

She was the only one at the table not drinking alcohol. Bobby was drinking Glenlivit and she noticed that his glass never stayed empty for long. He noticed her watching him and smiled at her, his eyes slightly glazed. He leaned over with his mouth close to her ear and asked softly, "May I have this dance?" sending chills down her back. She blushed and lowered her head briefly before nodding her consent. Bobby stood up and pulled her to her feet, asking the others to excuse them, and led her out onto the dance floor. It was a slow dance and he held her close, his hand on the small of her back lightly pressing her hips close to his. Looking up into his eyes, feeling as though he could read her every thought, and as though she were the only person in the world whose thoughts he wanted to read, she wished this moment could last forever.

As midnight neared, the large screen TV in the bar showed Times Square and the ball. Standing in front of Bobby, pressed up against him with his arm around her waist, Annie leaned her head back against his chest. They all joined in the count-down and watched the Waterford Crystal Ball drop. As a cheer went up and "Happy New Year" rang out around the restaurant, Bobby turned her to face him and lowered his lips to hers. He pulled her close to him and kissed her deeply, ignoring all the people around them breaking into "Auld Lang Syne". Finally he lifted his head and smiled down into her eyes. As the band began the next song, he guided her back to the dance floor.

"Our first dance of 2004," he whispered into her ear as they began to sway in time to the music.

They stayed another hour, alternately dancing and settling at their table to talk to the others. Rob and Janey were still enjoying the party, knowing that their children were with Rob's parents and there was no hurry to get home. Bobby retrieved their coats and they told their friends good night. Rob looked with amusement as his much taller neighbor weaved back and forth ever so slightly.

"He's not driving, is he?"

Annie looked up at her husband, then back at Rob and Janey. "Definitely not," she said with a laugh.

Annie and Bobby walked the two blocks to where his car was parked. Bobby put his arm around her and pulled her close as they walked. At the car he reached to open the passenger door for Annie. She moved in front of the door so he couldn't open it. She smiled up at him and held her hand out.

"Keys, please," she said.

Bobby smiled a slightly goofy smile and put both hands on top of the car, on either side of Annie. He moved his body close to hers and leaned down with his mouth a whisper away from hers.

"You want to drive my Mustang?" he said in that soft, deep voice that never failed to send chills down her spine. "It'll cost you."

His lips touched hers gently before he parted her lips with his tongue and explored the warmth of her mouth. She sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist as he continued the kiss. Bobby put his arms around her and leaned his body against hers. She realized she was trapped between his warm body and the cold car, but suddenly she couldn't think of anyplace else she wanted to be. They stood there for several minutes before he pulled his head back and looked down at her. He was silent, just looking into her blue eyes.

Finally Annie giggled as she said, "Robert Goren, you are tipsy."

He smiled and kissed her again. "We should probably go home to finish this," he said in a husky voice that sent another thrill through her.

He pulled away from her and handed her the keys. He walked her around to the driver's side and opened the door for her, then got in on the passenger side. On the drive home he kept Annie giggling, and aroused, as he made suggestive comments and drew patterns on her thigh with his finger.

At home, they paid the teenage neighbor who had babysat the kids. Annie told Bobby she would watch Leslie walk home, which was three houses down the block. When she came back in the house, Bobby was standing just inside. As she closed the door, he pulled her coat off and backed her against the door. He kissed her and ran his hands over her as he pressed himself against her.

"It's been a long time since we made love down here," he whispered in her ear.

Annie giggled and said, "Bobby! The kids might wake up and come downstairs!"

He whispered in her ear, "Then don't scream."

She laughed and put her hands on his chest to push him away. "You _are_ tipsy," she said, taking his hand. "Come with me, Big Boy."

She led him upstairs and into their bedroom. Bobby made a big show of locking the door before turning to her. She smiled as he put his arms around her waist and leaned down to kiss her gently. She reached up and began to unbutton his shirt, kissing his neck and chest as she went. He sighed and laced the fingers of one hand through her hair. He pulled her head back so that she was looking into his eyes before kissing her deeply.

He kissed her throat and murmured, "You have no idea how much I want you right now."

Annie felt a shiver run through her. "I'm so glad," she said softly. "Because I've heard that men of a…..um…..'certain age' sometimes have difficulty."

Bobby pulled back to look at her. She smiled up at him innocently and added, "Especially when they've had a little too much to drink."

He smiled down at her and tightened his embrace, pulling her hips firmly against him as he leaned down and kissed her until she couldn't catch her breath.

"I will never be too old or too drunk to make love to you," he growled in her ear as he turned her around and unzipped her dress.

Bobby opened his eyes to the early winter morning light. He was lying on his back with his arms spread. He looked to his left and saw Annie sprawled on her stomach, sleeping soundly. She was covered with the sheet and blankets but he knew that she was naked. A dull throb in his temples reminded him of how much he had to drink last night. But his memory of the entire evening was clear.

He remembered watching Annie come down the stairs wearing the silver dress he had given her for Christmas. He remembered the excellent dinner at the restaurant and the chatter and laughter of their friends. Most of all he remembered everything about the beautiful woman who was his wife. He was aware of her every movement, every word she spoke, the sound of her laughter, the way her blue eyes looked up at him as though no one else existed, the feel of her in his arms as they danced, the taste of her as they shared a kiss at midnight. And he remembered everything that happened after they returned home. He remembered her teasing him about his age and the Scotch he had consumed. He remembered how her voice changed from teasing laughter to the husky sounds of passion and pleading as they made love. He remembered that twice more during the night she had awakened him to make love again.

He sighed and turned on his side to face her, careful not to wake her up just yet. He watched her face, relaxed in sleep and sated from their lovemaking. The five weeks since Thanksgiving had been difficult for her and he knew that he was in large part to blame. He suspected that the passion that had driven her into his arms three times during the night was fueled in part by her relief that the undercurrent of anger he had been suppressing since Thanksgiving seemed to be gone. But he thought that she probably didn't understand just yet the depth of the consequences of what she had said to his mother that day.

Since their marriage, he and Annie had been involved in this complex, intricate dance with his mother. While his and Annie's relationship had been solid and unshakable, and Annie's relationship with his mother had been close and uncomplicated, his own relationship with his mother was fraught with pitfalls. His mother relied on him and resented him at the same time. The son for whom she'd had such high hopes had disappointed her but she couldn't admit that he had failed. And so she complained to Bobby, and about Bobby. He was used to it, resigned to it. But since marrying Annie there had been a relief in knowing that finally there was someone who would share the responsibility with him. For the first time in his adult life there was someone who would willingly go sit with his mother when she was having an "episode", someone to listen when he was frustrated, someone to be a buffer between them when his mother was raging at him.

Now it felt as though his only support system had been stripped away and he was left once again to manage her care alone. With a few careless words Annie had unintentionally positioned herself as his mother's enemy. While Frances had somewhat forgiven Bobby for what she believed he had done to Frank, he had expected her to continue to bring it up whenever she was upset. But knowing that it was Annie, not Bobby who had sent her precious Frank into rehab infuriated Frances. She felt this "betrayal" was worse than the many things she had blamed Bobby for over the years. Although he kept reassuring Annie that his mother would get over it, he wasn't sure it would blow over. And if he were completely honest he had to admit that it made him angry. While Annie thought she was protecting him, what she had done would only make things harder for him because she had left him to deal with his mother alone.

It was exactly what he had thought would happen and that was why he had asked her, had ordered her really, not to tell her. There had never been anything slightly authoritarian in the way he related to Annie; he wasn't in the habit of giving her orders or making decisions without her. But he thought this time she understood how important it was to him that she do as he asked.

He watched the gentle rise and fall of her upper back as she breathed and the way her long blond hair was splayed around her face. He loved the feel of her hair; he loved to brush it and braid it for her, or simply run his fingers through it over and over. He thought about the uninhibited and exuberant way she loved him and it made his own heart ache with love for her. When he thought about the depth of love she exhibited for him, it reminded him of a fractal; a geometric shape that looked deceptively simple and orderly, but looking more and more closely you find that it is extremely complex, made up of smaller, repeating, geometrical shapes that look like the larger one. The more he tried to examine the smaller components of her love, the more he saw the same repeating patterns of her admiration, respect, passion, and even awe. It was hard for him to accept that anyone, especially Annie, could feel all of that for him. Yet for twelve years she had never wavered.

She had given herself to him completely and without hesitation. While they argued on occasion, the argument about pressing charges against Frank had been the most serious. He had to admit that she was more often the one willing to apologize, wanting to make up more than she wanted to be right. She looked for ways to make him happy and it created in him an equal desire to please her. She was a virgin when they married and she had given herself to him unreservedly in this area as well. She enjoyed sex and her passion matched his. Inexperienced as she was when they married, she was willing and eager to learn from him. She would try anything he suggested, trusting him completely to stop if she didn't like it. She had also enthusiastically done her own research, often bringing home books and asking him if they could try the things she found.

She stirred and opened her eyes. She looked up at him and smiled. Bobby reached for her and pulled her against him. He kissed her softly and she returned the kiss with equal passion as it deepened. Her hands caressed him and he smiled against her mouth in wonder that she wanted to make love yet again. He returned her kiss and his own hands began to move across her body. She rolled onto her back and pulled him on top of her.

The ringing of the phone interrupted them and she groaned as he broke the kiss and disengaged from her embrace to answer the phone. There were only two possibilities he could think of for someone to be calling this early on a holiday morning; neither of them was good. He picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"

"Mr. Goren," came a woman's voice. "I'm sorry to call so early. This is the charge nurse at Carmel Ridge Treatment Center. We are having some difficulty with your mother and she is asking for you."

He listened for a few more moments before sighing and telling her, "I'll be up there as soon as I can."

It was three weeks into the New Year and Alex Eames was in a foul mood. It wouldn't have surprised anyone in the Major Case squad room to see a little black cloud over her head, following her everywhere she went. The scowl on her face was enough to keep most of her coworkers from even saying "Good morning" to her. Even her partner, who was not usually intimidated by her bad moods, watched her carefully and only spoke to her when necessary. Of all the people in the squad, Bobby at least understood the reasons for her bad mood.

It had been a promising New Year's Eve. Rather than going out and partying, she had stayed home and her nephew had spent the night with her. It was the first time she had kept him all night. She knew that overprotective new mother Liz hadn't really been ready to leave him for the entire night, but her husband had convinced her. Alex also knew that Liz had done it as much for her as she had for herself and her husband's yearning for a romantic interlude.

It was a wonderful night. The baby woke up just in time for her to change him, warm his bottle, and settle down in her comfy overstuffed chair to feed him while watching the ball drop. It was the best New Year's she had ever spent. She had laughed to herself as she thought about all the parties she had gone to over the years, and even the romantic New Year's she spent with Joe. By far her favorite was snuggling with her nephew in her quiet apartment and watching others party on TV.

But as January progressed her happy mood was replaced with her present bad one. She and Bobby had been investigating a case of a bank robber killed when the bomb he was wearing exploded. As they closed in on a woman who they believed was being manipulated by the same "mastermind" into committing bank robberies with a fake bomb strapped to her, they were convinced it was a matter of time before she too ended up being killed when a real bomb would be substituted.

In the middle of that investigation they recieved the news that Nicole Wallace had been acquitted. It was inconceivable to Alex that a woman who used and killed so many people could convince a jury of her innocence. As she had many times, she wondered how the blond serial killer could turn her big brown eyes and innocent smile on people and convince them to do things that common sense would rule out. Even her own partner, who saw Wallace for what she was and knew what she was capable of, had some kind of bizarre fascination with her. While she usually tried to understand the peculiar way Bobby's brain interpreted the world around him, this was something she could not understand. And at the moment it was only adding to her irritation.

Then came the confrontation with the mastermind who had so far convinced two people to strap what they thought were fake bombs to their chests and rob banks for him. Alex had come so very close to shooting the man when he tried to draw down on her, only to discover that the gun he fumbled and dropped in the street was a starter's pistol. He had tried to use Alex Eames to commit suicide by cop and she still shook inside to think how close he came to succeeding. She had shot and killed one person in her police career and it had been a difficult thing to live with, despite reassurances that it had been justified. It infuriated her that she had nearly been driven to killing another person.

But the phone calls from the lawyers had become the biggest reason for her mood. Three months earlier Alex, Bobby, and Annie were on the scene when a little boy died after being hit by a car. The parents of the boy were suing the driver of the car and their lawyers were contacting everyone they could to get statements. She knew that Bobby and Annie had both talked to them and answered questions, but the lawyers became focused on her because she had been looking in her rear view mirror and actually saw the car hit the boy.

The phone calls were becoming more frequent and more adversarial as the lawyers tried to find something in Alex's statements that supported their claims of negligence. Alex relived the events over and over as the lawyers asked her repeat her story again and again. Although her story didn't change, and she insisted the driver could not have prevented the accident, still they questioned her. They asked her the same questions in as many different ways as they could conceive. In addition to the annoyance of their badgering her to say what they wanted to hear, it was difficult having to relive the experience again and again. The pale, still little boy was haunting her dreams.

This morning one of the lawyers was on the phone with her again, asking the same questions. As Alex again told him exactly what she saw, he kept cutting her off to ask about another detail. Bobby glanced up from the paperwork he was working on as he heard the frustration in her voice. They had a lot of paperwork to get through this morning and Alex was becoming angrier and angrier at being kept from it in order to go through yet another grilling.

"So, Ms. Eames," the lawyer said, "you saw the boy as your car came around the curve?"

"Yes."

"And you slowed down and swerved around him?"

"Yes," she bit out.

"Then there's no reason that the car behind you couldn't have also slowed down and swerved, isn't that right?"

"She did slow down—as I have already told you several times," Alex said irritably.

"But she didn't swerve, did she? Had she swerved, she would have missed him just as you did."

"There was too much traffic for her to swerve…."

"Yet you managed to, didn't you?" he interrupted.

"There wasn't a car next to me," she said, "and the boy didn't step in front of my car. He walked into the road directly in front of her car."

"So Dr. Roque chose to run over a little boy rather than cause a dent to her expensive car by side swiping another car?" The lawyer's voice sounded triumphant.

Alex decided enough was enough. "Do you want me to tell you whose fault this was?" she asked in a low voice. Bobby looked up at her as the tone of her voice registered with him.

"Yes, _Detective_ Eames," the lawyer said condescendingly. "I would like your _professional_ opinion of who was at fault for the tragic death of this little boy. It seems obvious that it was the careless and negligent driver of the car that ran him down. What is your opinion?"

"As a matter of fact I don't agree….._Sir_," she said in the same tone. "That boy's parents are the ones who are responsible."

"What?!"

"That boy was only five years old, yet his parents didn't know where he was for at least an hour. In that time he had already walked across four lanes of a busy highway. The woman who was supposedly babysitting him 'sent him home'. She sent a five year old boy home on his own without even escorting him and making sure he was with his parents. Then that same woman interfered with rescue attempts and attacked one of the people giving him CPR. I know that she was high at the time and I have no doubt that the parents were, too. If the police hadn't been so focused on the rescue of the boy, they might have decided they had probable cause to search the parents and their trailer. Would you like to make any bets on what kind of drugs they would have found?"

"Th….that's just conjecture! You have no proof that they were in possession of any drugs!" The lawyer was now as furious as Alex was.

"You think so, Buddy? Tell you what, go ahead and depose me, call me as a witness at trial. I'll get up there, with my gold NYPD badge prominently on my chest, and I'll tell exactly what I saw. I will tell how I saw this five year old boy, all alone and unattended by the parents who were responsible for his safety, standing on the side of a busy highway. I'll tell how I watched that boy walked into the path of Dr. Roque's car, _as she was trying to slow down and avoid hitting him._ I'll tell how I approached the parents and I'll tell exactly how they and their babysitter were acting. I'll explain how, in my professional opinion, they were all under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or both. I'll tell how the babysitter attacked one of the rescue workers and I had to threaten to arrest her to get her to leave. So you go ahead and put me on that stand, you ambulance-chasing leech!"

Alex's voice got louder and louder as she spoke, until everyone in the squad room could hear her. Everyone became silent and they all turned to stare at her as she slammed the phone down. She looked across their desks at her partner with furious eyes.

"You got something to say, Goren?" she asked. Bobby didn't answer. He shook his head and raised his hands up, palms out in surrender. The phone rang almost immediately and Alex snatched it out of its cradle.

"Listen, you scum-sucking low-life, if you want me to testify at trial then serve me with a subpoena. But don't ever call me again or I'll hit you with a restraining order. You got that?!"

"Uh…Detective Eames?" This was not the voice of the lawyer.

"Who is this?" she demanded crossly.

"Uh…th….this is Tom Spencer. I…um….I was just….well….if this is a bad time, I can call back later."

"Who is this," she asked again, more gently this time as she realized this was not one of the lawyers hounding her.

"Tom Spencer. I met you when that little boy was hit by the car a few months ago. I helped give CPR to him."

"Tom Spencer? The firefighter, right?" Alex remember the big man asking if he could help and later sitting in the trooper's car with her as they waited to give their statements.

"Right, the firefighter," he said,

"What can I do for you, Mr. Spencer?"

"Please call me Tom. I…uh…I just wanted to see how you are doing."

"How I'm doing?" Bobby noticed her brows knit together in a frown. "Why?"

"Well...I know you were pregnant that day we met and I know you must have had the baby by now. I…uh…I just…"

"How did you know where I work?" Alex asked suspiciously.

Tom sighed. This was not going well. He decided he better come clean.

"Look, I know I sound like some kind of creep, or a stalker, or something. It's just that I liked you and wanted to find out if you were married or involved with someone. So…" he trailed off.

"So….what did you do?"

"I looked your brother up and asked him."

"My brother? Danny?" She had a vague recollection of telling him that her brother was a firefighter.

"Yeah, Danny. I asked about you. He said you had the baby right before Thanksgiving. He said that you aren't married or seeing anyone and I should give you a call. He gave me the number for One Police Plaza and told me you work for the Major Case Squad."

He waited for her reaction. He didn't have to wait long. After a few moments of silence, Alex began to chuckle. Then she began to laugh, loudly enough to again attract the attention of her coworkers. But while most of them tried to pretend they didn't see or hear anything out of the ordinary, not wanting to incur the wrath of the moody detective, her partner showed no such fear. He stared openly at her as she sat across from him laughing and holding onto the phone. Bobby raised one eyebrow quizzically and Alex laughed even harder. On the other end of the line, Tom Spencer was silent, not sure what to make of her outburst. She finally got her laughter under control enough to be able to speak.

"So two months after I give birth, my baby brother is giving my number out to any man who calls? And you called to…what? Ask me out on a date?"

"Well….for pie, anyway."

"Pie?"

"Yeah. Do you like pie?" he asked.

Chuckling, Alex answered, "As a matter of fact, I do like pie."

"Do you know the 'Coffee and Pie Cafe'? It's just a couple of blocks from my station house. They have great pie. I thought maybe we could meet there sometime. Just pie, coffee, and conversation."

Making a quick decision, Alex said, "What about tonight after work?"

Tom managed not to sound as incredulous as he felt. "Tonight would be great. Do you need to make arrangements with your babysitter and get back to me?"

"Babysitter?" Alex asked.

"Um…for your baby?"

So Danny hadn't told him everything. "No, the babysitter isn't a problem. I'll be there at 5:30."

"OK, great. I'll see you then," Tom said.

As she hung up the phone, Alex's expression dared Bobby to say anything. He just shrugged and went back to his paperwork. At 5:00 Alex gathered her things to leave. Bobby was still at his desk when she left. She had noticed lately that often he was staying at work after she left and she wondered if everything was alright with him and Annie. But neither of them had mentioned any problems to her, so she said nothing.

She walked into the Coffee and Pie Café at exactly 5:30. Tom Spencer wasn't hard to spot. He was a big man, nearly as tall as Bobby, and muscular. His blond hair was cut short and his smile as she walked in the door reached his hazel eyes. He was wearing dark blue FDNY-issue pants and tee-shirt, his heavy coat was lying on the seat next to him. Tom stood until she sat down across the table from him. The waitress came and took their orders for pie and coffee.

"So…" Tom said, still smiling. "You look great. How have you been?"

"I'm OK," she said. "But I'd be better if the idiot lawyers would leave me alone. Have they been calling you?"

"The lawyers for the parents?" he asked. Alex nodded. "They called a couple of times and got my statement. Are they bugging you?"

"I had the bad luck of actually seeing the car hit the little guy. So they keep calling and trying to get me to say what they want to hear."

Tom smiled as understanding dawned. "And that would be the 'scum-sucking low-life'?" he asked with a chuckle.

Alex smiled back at him. "That would be the one. I had just hung up on him and I thought it was him calling back." She took a bite of her apple pie. "Let's talk about something else. They really do have the best pie here."

"Yes, they do. I come here a lot, since it's so close to the firehouse."

He took a bite of his rhubarb pie. They were quiet for a few minutes as they finished eating. The waitress came by and refilled their coffee cups.

"So, you had your baby. Your brother said it was a boy. Congratulations. Is he keeping you up at night?"

"No," Alex said slowly.

"You've got him sleeping through the night already? That's great. It seemed like my boy didn't sleep through the night for a year. It was really only about three months. Seemed like a year, though," he laughed.

Alex shifted in her seat. "Look, uh, Tom, I think Danny must have forgotten to mention one little fact about me."

"What's that?"

"The baby isn't keeping me up at night because he doesn't live with me."

"I don't understand," he frowned, trying to make sense of it. "He's with his father?"

"Well, yeah….and with his mother." Alex smiled as the confused look deepened. "He isn't my son. I was a surrogate for my sister and brother-in-law. He's my nephew."

"A surrogate? Wow, that's….well, I guess that's great. Right? I mean…you're OK with that?"

"Yeah, I'm more than OK with it. It was a great experience and now I spend as much time as I can with him. My sister is happier than I've ever seen her, and it makes me happy that I could do that for her."

Tom nodded. "So…." He said with a smile, "you gave birth to your nephew. That's a great story to tell in a bar." Alex laughed with him. "Your brother says you aren't married. Have you ever been?"

"Yes," she told him. "I was married once. My husband, Joe, was a cop too. He was killed in the line of duty."

"I'm sorry," Tom said softly. "How long ago?"

"Almost six years ago." Alex sighed and changed the subject. "How about you? You mentioned kids. I hope you aren't married, what with calling up detectives for pie and coffee dates."

"No, not married anymore. I've been divorced for three years."

"And your kids? How many?"

"Two. My oldest is a boy. Aaron is ten years old. And then there's my daughter, Mandy. She's six."

"Divorce is hard, especially with kids. Do you see them much?"

"Every chance I get. My ex and I are friendly….well, we're civilized anyway," he smiled. "I got an apartment close to them so that the kids can stay with me on my days off and still be close to their school."

They talked about Tom's children, about their jobs, about the holidays that had just passed. Finally Tom looked at his watch and said he had to get back to the station. He paid their bill and they walked outside.

"Thanks for meeting me here, Alex," Tom said, turning to face her. "Maybe next time we could go to dinner? I mean, a real date. I'd like to see you again."

"Yes," she smiled up at him, realizing just how big he was now that they were standing face to face. "I think I'd like a real date." She wrote her cell phone number on the back of her business card and handed it to him. "Call me."

Tom took the card. "You can count on it, Detective."

Annie had just discharged a little girl who had needed sutures below her lip after falling while ice skating. It was lunch time and it looked like she might actually get to take hers on time today. She walked to the reception desk to let them know she was leaving when Jody told her there was a phone call for her. Sighing, and hoping this wouldn't take long, Annie picked up the phone and pushed the blinking light.

"This is Annie."

"Annie, darling! How lovely to hear your voice! I do hope I haven't caught you at a bad time. I would so love to catch up with what has been going on with you and your family since the last time we talked."

Annie had only heard this voice once before, but she knew instantly who it was. "You and I have nothing to talk about, Nicole."

"Oh, now that's rather rude, don't you think? I thought you would at least congratulate me on my acquittal. I so was hoping you and Bobby could join Gavin and myself for a little celebratory dinner one night this week. How about it?"

"My husband and I don't celebrate murderers walking around free," Annie said coldly.

"Tut, tut, tut," Nicole laughed. "A jury of my peers said that I couldn't have possibly committed those terrible crimes as Detectives Goren and Eames claimed. But everyone makes mistakes and I'm willing to let bygones be bygones. Can't we just be friends?" Nicole Wallace laughed merrily.

Annie hung up. She stood looking down at the phone for a few moments. She knew that she needed to call Bobby and let him know that Nicole had called. But she remembered how he reacted the last time Nicole had contacted her. It was as close to panic as she had ever seen in her husband. He had insisted that she and the kids go to Connecticut until they could find the evidence they needed to arrest Nicole Wallace. They had arrested her, but now she was free again. As she said, she had been acquitted by a jury. What would he do this time? Surely he wouldn't make them leave again.

Sighing, she told Jody that she was taking her lunch break. She got her coat and walked outside in the cold. This wasn't how she wanted to spend her lunch time, and it wasn't the way she wanted to have this conversation, but she knew Bobby would be angry if she waited to tell him. She pushed the speed dial for his cell phone.

"Hi Babe, I can't talk right now. Eames and I are in the middle of something."

"I'm sorry, Babe, but I knew you would want me to call you right away. I need to tell you something."

This time, Bobby didn't panic. Although the thought of a serial killer like Nicole Wallace talking to his wife caused a vise-like grip of fear around his heart, he agreed with Annie that Nicole simply seemed to enjoy using her to taunt him. There didn't seem to be any reason to suspect she would hurt Annie or the kids. And short of packing up his entire family and going into hiding, there was nothing he could do.

"We could get a restraining order," he told Annie.

"Yes," she said thoughtfully. "But maybe she got it out of her system and she won't call me anymore. Let's just wait, OK?"

"OK, we'll wait and see. But if she calls you or you see her again…"

"I'll call you," she reassured him. "I should go eat my lunch now and let you and Alex get back to work. I love you, Bobby."

"I love you, too, Annie. I'll see you at home tonight."

They ended the call and Annie shivered in the cold. She headed back into the warm hospital.

**End chapter 11**

17


	12. Chapter 12

**FAMILY**

**CHAPTER 12**

_I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. This is the final Mike and Sarah chapter for this story. But they will be showing up in future stories. There will be one more chapter for Bobby and Annie and season 3 will be done. _

_Thank you, as always, to my beta Spook._

Mike chuckled as Sarah joined him at the bar and took off her coat. She was wearing jeans, black high-top Nikes, and a long-sleeve navy blue tee-shirt with the New England Patriots logo on the front. Her dark hair was pulled back in a pony tail and topped with a gray wool baseball cap, also with the Pats logo. She grinned at him as she leaned over to kiss him before sitting down on the stool next to him.

"What's so funny, Detective? You know I like to dress appropriately for a date."

"Oh, Phil is gonna love you," he laughed. "Do you want a drink before we go?"

"Just a soda, thanks."

Mike had invited Sarah to a Superbowl Party at the home of his friend and former partner, Phil Cerreta. There would be several cops and their wives or girlfriends. This had become a tradition for Mike over the years and he always enjoyed himself. But he had never brought a date before and he knew that both Phil and his wife, Elaine, were curious. Among the other cops who would be there today were another former partner of Mike's, Lennie Briscoe, and Lennie's current partner, Ed Green. He knew that bringing Sarah was going to cause him to be the subject of a lot of female gossip and male kidding. He smiled again as he watched her sipping her soda. He decided she was worth it.

If Sarah was nervous, she didn't show it as they walked up the sidewalk to Phil and Elaine's house. She was carrying two plastic containers with her offerings for the party: Teriyaki Wings and Lemon Bars. Mike's contribution was beer. After depositing the food and beer in the kitchen, Mike made the introductions. Phil had the grill going on the covered patio and Mike joined him out there while Sarah stayed in the warm kitchen with Elaine.

She liked Elaine immensely. She was warmhearted and friendly; her beatific and indulgent smile as she watched her husband reign over the barbeque in the manner of a benevolent overlord spoke volumes about the depth of their relationship. Elaine quizzed Sarah about herself and when she heard that she had a daughter, she grumbled good-naturedly about Mike.

"Honestly! That boy! He should have told you that there would be children here and to bring Jia Li. I don't know what he was thinking."

"Oh, it's OK," Sarah told her. "Jia Li is with my husband's family today. I'm sure Mike would have suggested bringing her, but…well…he's never met her." At Elaine's surprised look she added quickly, "We haven't been dating all that long. I just….I mean, I don't want…." She trailed off. "It just hasn't been the right time."

Elaine smiled sympathetically and let the subject drop. Sarah helped with preparations and other women drifted into the kitchen, their laughter and conversation a pleasant hum. There were indeed children present and they ran in and out of the kitchen, laughing and squealing. Mike came in just in time to greet the last arrival. Sarah watched as he greeted Lennie Briscoe with an affectionate punch to the shoulder, and then greeted Lennie's date with incredulity.

"Rodgers?" He smiled at the redheaded M.E. She didn't smile back, but looked at him evenly.

"Just keep your remarks to yourself, Logan," she warned. Mike laughed and introduced the two women.

"Sarah Johnson, this is Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers, NYPD Medical Examiner. Rodgers, this is Sarah Johnson. My date."

As they shook hands, Elizabeth Rodgers said with a smile, "Well you don't look like a brain-dead bimbo. How did you end up with lover-boy here?"

Sarah laughed and replied, "Actually he rescued me one night from a very drunk, very disastrous blind date."

"Mike Logan a knight in shining armor? Well, wonders never cease, do they?"

Sarah greeted Lennie, who gave her an affectionate hug. They had met once before when Mike invited Lennie to have a drink with them before one of their dates. She liked the older, slightly rumpled detective with the sarcastic sense of humor.

Phil announced the food was ready and everyone filled their plates and found somewhere to sit in the large living room, just as the game began. There were good-natured arguments about the two teams. Sarah settled in a chair and Mike sat on the floor next to her, leaning back against her chair, his arm casually thrown across her lap. She was enjoying the easy camaraderie, the laughter, the cheering, the children running in and out of the room, and most of all the dark-haired man sitting at her feet.

When half-time came she reached down and ran her fingers lightly through Mike's hair and asked if he wanted another beer and plate of food. He leaned his head back on her lap and smiled up at her.

"That would be great. Thank you," he said, pulling her down for a quick kiss.

"Save my seat," she said as she got up.

Mike moved to sit in the chair and Sarah made her way to the kitchen. She filled a plate with finger foods to share and opened two beers. As she made her way back across the living room Janet Jackson appeared on the TV screen, singing "All For You". She laughed to see the children dancing and stopped briefly to dance with Phil and Elaine's ten year old grandson, who seemed to have developed a crush on her. She glanced at Mike and found that he was watching her with a smile. She continued across to him, holding the plate in one hand and the two beers in the other. She swayed her hips in time to the music and danced the rest of the way. When she reached him, he pulled her onto his lap, laughing.

"Yeah, Baby!" He laughed as she struggled to keep from spilling the food and the beer. Mike took advantage of her full hands to pull her against him and capture her mouth in a deep kiss. When he released her, she was breathless. Sarah glanced around to see if the others were watching them but discovered everyone was busy with their own conversations and runs to the kitchen for more food and drinks. But she did see Elaine smiling indulgently at them from across the room. Embarrassed, Sarah blushed. Which made Mike laugh and kiss her again briefly. Then he helped her set down the plate and beer bottles. They repositioned themselves so they were both squeezed into the chair and Sarah held the plate of food on her lap while they ate.

"Having a good time?" he said softly in her ear.

"Yeah, I am. I like Phil and Elaine a lot. I like all your friends."

He brushed his lips against her forehead, then they turned their attention to their food. They both looked back at the half-time show on the TV just in time to see Justin Timberlake come out and begin singing "Rock Your Body" with Janet Jackson. At the final line, "I'm gonna have you naked by the end of this song", Timberlake ripped Jackson's top, revealing her right breast. There was a moment of silence among the adults in the room before they reacted. The children continued dancing, unaware of what had just happened. Then a roar of laughter erupted, with Elaine's shocked voice rising above.

"I cannot believe they did that! There are children watching this! Mike Logan, this is NOT funny!"

Mike's laugh had been particularly boisterous and now he tried unsuccessfully to stop, hiding his face against Sarah's shoulder. But he couldn't manage to quell the shaking of his shoulders. Sarah was still staring in shock at the TV, although Jackson and Timberlake were no longer even onscreen. With Mike gripping her waist and laughing against her shoulder, she began to giggle. She understood Elaine's outrage, and might have felt the same way if Jia Li had seen it. But looking around the room, she doubted that any of the children even understood what had just happened.

The second half of the game began and the "wardrobe malfunction" was forgotten. The ending was exciting, with New England and Carolina tied 29-29 in the fourth quarter, and only 1:08 left to play. The men began betting on whether this would be the first Superbowl game to go into overtime, when the Patriots scored a 41-yard field goal with only four seconds left, giving them the win at 32-29. Mike raised both fists in the air and cheered; the whole room erupting in cheers from the Patriot fans and groans from the Panthers fans.

As people began taking their leave, Sarah stayed and helped Elaine clean up the kitchen. There were three other women in the kitchen, all old friends of Elaine's and all cops' wives. As they put away food and washed dishes, the talk turned to the special challenges of being married to a police officer. When Sarah heard one of the women mention Phil being shot, she stopped in surprise.

"Phil was shot? Mike didn't tell me that. He just said that his first partner had been shot."

"Max Greevey," Elaine nodded sadly. "He and his wife were friends of ours. That was a terrible, terrible time. Max was a good cop and a good man. When Phil was shot, thank God he was only wounded. But it put him on desk duty until he retired."

"I didn't know. How frightening that must have been for you to hear that your husband had been shot," Sarah told her.

Elaine nodded. "It comes with being a cop's wife. You always know that it could happen at any time, and you think you're prepared. But when you actually get that call you realize that you aren't. You just never really believe that it could happen to your husband."

Sarah was quiet and lost in thought while they finished cleaning up. As she and Mike were leaving, Elaine hugged her and told her she hoped to see her again soon. Sarah hugged her back and thanked her, telling her that she had really enjoyed the day. She was quiet on the way back to Peter J's.

"You never told me that Phil had been shot," she said finally.

"I didn't? I thought I had. Well," Mike smiled at her, "I guess I'm just not very good luck for my partners, huh?"

"Does it ever bother you? Knowing that you could be….well, that you could…."she trailed off.

"That I could be the next one shot? The next NYPD funeral?" Mike looked over at her. She looked back at him and didn't answer. Mike reached over and took her hand. "Sure, it's always there, y' know? Every cop knows he could be the one with the target on his back every time he goes out on the street. But if you dwell on it, worry about it, you can't do your job. You just have to push it from your mind."

"I don't know if I could do that," she said softly, lacing her fingers through his.

They were silent for the rest of the drive. Saying goodbye outside the bar, Mike pulled her close and kissed her. The warmth of his body against hers in the cold, dark winter evening and the faint scent of his aftershave mixing with the scent of the beer he had drunk all combined to leave Sarah feeling a little light-headed. It was familiar feeling whenever she was with Mike Logan and she decided she liked it very much. Mike lifted his head and gazed into her eyes, his hand coming up to brush a stray wisp of hair off her face.

"Valentine's Day is in a couple of weeks. Can I take you dancing?"

"Yes," she breathed; the thought of dancing with him again making her feel even more light-headed.

Leaving Peter J's, Sarah drove to her in-laws' home to pick up her sleeping daughter. As she tucked her into her own bed and kissed her chubby cheek, Sarah thought about the day and all the children running around Phil and Elaine's house. Maybe she should have taken Jia Li, she thought. Maybe she should introduce Jia Li to Mike. But they had only been dating for three months and it seemed too soon. Sarah sighed, thinking how clueless she felt about the whole ritual of dating. She wondered if Miss Manners had any advice on the etiquette of dating for the single parent.

Two weeks later, Sarah celebrated her 36th birthday. Her birthday was the day before Valentine's Day and this year fell on a Sunday. Her parents had a birthday dinner at their house, with her brother and sister and their families. Being the baby of the family, there were a lot of jokes about her age. They had birthday cake and Sarah opened her presents. The clay impression of her handprints that Jia Li gave her was her favorite.

Mike was disappointed not to be able to see her on her birthday, but understood that her family expected her to spend it with them. And he knew he would be seeing her the next day for their Valentine's Day date. Sarah had briefly considered inviting him to her parents', but felt like she couldn't face the introductions and questions. Her parents knew she was dating Mike, but realizing she didn't want to talk about it, they didn't press for details. Her sister was not so inhibited and had peppered her with questions about the mysterious man she was going out with. But Sarah refused to talk about him, insisting they had only been dating a short time. She promised to tell her sister all about him if and when the relationship became serious.

She was working the next day, so she took the dress she wanted to wear on her date to work with her. Rather than driving all the way home and then back to Peter J's to meet Mike, she would change at the library and go directly from there. Penny whistled as she came out of the bathroom wearing a red dress, with her hair pulled up on her head in soft waves. Mike also let out a soft whistle of appreciation when he saw her.

It was the ultimate in romantic evenings. Mike took her to an Italian restaurant for dinner and they exchanged gifts. She gave him a biography of Scatman Crothers.

"I know, not very original, considering I gave you his record for Christmas. But I thought you would like it."

He assured her that he did like it very much. Mike had insisted on giving her two presents; a birthday gift and a Valentine's gift. He gave her a box of her favorite chocolates ("I know, not very original," he said, making her laugh), and a delicate gold necklace that caused her to blush with pleasure. She insisted on putting it on right then, commenting that it went perfectly with her dress.

After dinner Mike took her to a club. Dinner had been wonderful, but dancing was better. He held her close during the slow dances and managed to keep at least one hand in contact with her during the fast ones. She wasn't sure which made her heart beat the fastest.

He pulled her into his arms for another slow dance; his hand on the small of her back and his other hand holding hers lightly. With her heels on she was only a few inches shorter than he and his lips brushed her ear; she shivered at the wisp of his breath against her skin. She rested her head on his shoulder; he pulled her hand against his chest and covered it with his. She closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of his body against hers.

He kissed her cheek softly and whispered, "You look beautiful tonight."

"So do you," she whispered back.

He gently squeezed her hand in response. She felt it then, the ring on her left ring finger. She realized that she had forgotten to take it off before meeting Mike. Changing her clothes at work had disrupted her usual routine for getting ready and she had not thought to remove the ring as she would have done at home, placing it in the small jewelry box on her dresser. Her heart sped up a bit as she realized with embarrassment that she had been wearing her wedding ring all evening. Had Mike noticed? She wasn't sure what to do. She felt she should take it off, but to do it now might be awkward; might require a discussion. That was last thing she wanted to do on Valentine's Day. Her mind raced, casting about for a discreet way to remove the ring.

Mike felt her stiffen ever so slightly and then felt her left hand move against his chest; almost as though she wanted to snatch her hand away but restrained herself. So she had forgotten, and just now realized she was wearing the ring. Mike noticed it the moment he saw her at Peter J's. He was used to seeing it on her finger when he dropped in to take her to lunch while she was working, but this was the first time she had worn it on a date. He wondered if it was simply an oversight because she had dressed for the date at work rather than at home, or if there was a deeper meaning to wearing her wedding ring on Valentine's Day. He considered whether to say something or let it go. He decided to say nothing and wait to see if she brought it up.

But now, as he felt the reaction she was trying to conceal, he realized it had been an oversight and now she was uncomfortable but unsure what to do about it. Mike tightened his hold on her a bit as the revelation came to him that this wedding ring was a bigger problem than he had wanted to see. He had ignored it until now, hoping that it wasn't really a big deal that she wore the ring in her "real life" and only took it off when she was planning to be with him. It was clear to him now that he wasn't a part of that real life. She hadn't introduced him to any of her family, not even her daughter. She wouldn't let him come to her home; she hadn't even wanted him to know where she lived. Even the Cadillac that he loved to drive on their dates was a reminder of her husband.

For three months, Mike had been pushing his doubts away because he very much wanted to continue to see her—and to see where it might lead. It wasn't just that he was attracted to her and wanted to make love to her. He had allowed himself to think that something deeper might develop between them. There hadn't been very many times in Mike Logan's life that he thought seriously about a long-term commitment to one woman, but this was one of those times. Sarah was someone he could imagine himself living with, share his life with. But it was clear to him now that she wasn't ready to share her life with him. In fact, she was keeping him as far away from her life as she could.

The song ended and she pulled away from him, avoiding looking up at him. Mike held onto her left hand as they walked back to the dark corner booth where they had left their drinks. Once back at the table, Sarah reached down to pick up her purse.

"Mike…I….will you excuse me, please? I need to go to the ladies room."

She tried to pull her hand out of his, but he tightened his grip a little and did not let go. She looked up at him questioningly. He smiled down at her, and then slid into the booth, still holding her hand. He gently tugged her hand to pull her down to the seat next to him.

"Before you do that, can you sit down with me for just a minute?"

Sarah slid into the seat next to him. Mike continued to hold her hand, but transferred it to his left as he draped his right arm across the back of the seat behind Sarah. He turned slightly so that he was facing her.

"Sarah, I'm not sure you realize just how amazing I think you are. You're beautiful and smart and funny. You already know how much I want to make love to you." He watched her blush and thought again how pretty she was when she did that. "I know you aren't ready for that yet, and I told you that I'm willing to wait until you are. You are worth waiting for because I think it could be more than just sex. There haven't been very many women that I've wanted to explore something more with." He leaned forward and brushed his lips across her temple. "I wanted to explore that possibility with you."

She didn't know what to say. Her breath caught in her throat when he lifted her left hand and placed a kiss on her wedding ring.

"I think we need to talk about this," he said softly.

"Mike…I'm sorry, I forgot. I got dressed at work and I just forgot."

"Yeah, I guessed that," Mike said slowly. "The question is why are you still wearing it?"

She was surprised at the question and shifted in her seat, but Mike held onto her hand.

"I told you before, it's habit."

"But not so much a habit that you can't remember—usually—to take it off before a date. And it seems like it would be an easy habit to break. You just take the ring off and put it away somewhere."

"Are you saying you want me to stop wearing my wedding ring—ever?" she asked defensively.

Mike shook his head. "No, I've made it clear that I don't want you to do anything you aren't ready for. But there is a difference between wearing this ring out of habit and wearing it because you aren't ready to stop. If you aren't ready to take off your wedding ring, then maybe you aren't ready to move onto another relationship."

"Mike…" she said softly, close to tears.

"Sarah," he pulled his right arm from behind her, placed his fingers under her chin, and tilted her head up to look at him. "Tell me what Valentine's Day was like with Tony."

"W..what?" she stammered.

"Tell me what you and Tony did on Valentine's Day."

She took a deep breath. "We…uh…we always went ice skating in Central Park. That was what we did when we were fifteen, our first Valentine's Day as boyfriend and girlfriend." Her voice softened with the memories and Mike returned his arm to rest on the seat behind her as she continued. "That first time, Tony's parents took us and then we went for hot chocolate afterwards. The next year, Tony had his driver's license and we went alone—in the Cadillac. It became a tradition for us. Every year we went ice skating in Central Park and then we would go and have hot chocolate and exchange gifts. When we were older, we substituted Irish coffee for the hot chocolate. That last year, he was so sick, so weak. But he insisted on going to Central Park anyway. I drove the Cadillac. And Tony sat in his wheelchair and watched me skate. Then we went for Irish coffee. He couldn't take more than a few sips, but he had to have his Irish coffee. And he gave me a picture in a silver frame of him and Jia Li. His mother had helped him; she took a picture of them one day when I was at work. It was taken on a good day and Tony looked…almost…as though he weren't sick. After our coffee, we went home. And we…" Her voice broke and tears were running down her cheeks. "We…made love. That was the last time." She looked up at Mike. "Tony died two months later."

Mike let go of her left hand, pulled her against his chest, and wrapped his arms around her as she cried softly. He laid his cheek against her hair and just held her. When she was out of tears, he handed her a napkin from the table to wipe her eyes and blow her nose. She looked up at him and he wiped his thumb across her cheek.

"This wasn't what I planned for tonight," she sniffed.

"I know," he told her softly, "and I'm sorry for making you dredge up painful memories." He took a deep breath. "Look, Sarah, I think wearing that wedding ring is more than just a habit. I think you wear it because you still feel like you are married to Tony."

"Mike…." She didn't know how to argue this point because she wasn't sure he was wrong.

"You were married for a long time, to your high school sweetheart. I get that you had a happy marriage and that you loved your husband very much. It sounds to me like Valentine's Day was a special day for you and Tony, and this is only the second one since he died. Don't you think you might be rushing things a bit?"

"But someone told me that it takes going through two years of holidays to get over the death of a loved one. And I read that when a marriage is really happy and a spouse dies, the surviving spouse usually remarries or finds a long-term relationship right away. Mike, I like you a lot and I just thought…I wanted…"

"You wanted me to help you get over the pain of losing your husband?"

Sarah looked down, unable to meet his eyes. Was that really what she was doing? Was she using Mike to ease her own pain?

"Hey…" He gently turned her face towards him. "I know you like me. I can see it. I can feel it when we are together. But tell me the truth, Sarah. When you are with me, do you feel like you're cheating on Tony?"

Tears filled her eyes again, but she held his gaze and nodded her head slightly. He smiled sadly at her and leaned over to lightly kiss each eyelid. He put his arms around her and again held her against his chest, his cheek resting on the top of her head.

"It's OK. I think I knew it all along. I just didn't want to see it. Because," he kissed her hair, "I like you a lot, too. Maybe things would be different if we had met a year from now. But…" He pulled away and looked in her eyes. "I don't date married women. And Sweetheart, you are still married."

She looked up at him and wanted to argue, to tell him that he was wrong. But she knew he was right. That wedding ring was more than a habit. It was the symbol of her marriage to Tony, and in her heart she still felt like a married woman. She liked Mike very, very much; she was immensely attracted to him; she could probably fall in love with him quite easily. Except for Tony. She couldn't ask Mike to hang around and watch her pine for her dead husband and hope that she might get over him eventually. Finally she sighed and nodded her head in agreement.

"I'm sorry, Mike. It hasn't been fair to you."

"Hey, don't apologize," he said softly. "I've enjoyed every minute we've spent together."

"So now what?" she asked.

"So now I walk you to your car. I kiss you goodbye, wish you a happy life, and I take a cab back to my apartment."

Mike paid for their drinks. He helped her on with her coat and held her hand as they walked out into the cold evening. Standing next to the Cadillac, Sarah looked up at him. He smiled down at her and held her face between his hands, lightly tracing her features with his thumb. He leaned down and kissed her.

"Good bye Sarah," he whispered.

"Good bye Mike," she whispered back.

He kissed her again, then opened the car door and helped her in. He closed the car door and walked away down the street, watching for a cab. Sarah watched him for a moment in the rear-view mirror, and then she started the car and headed home.

**End chapter 12**

12


	13. Chapter 13

**FAMILY**

**CHAPTER 13**

_This chapter is set during "Shrink Wrapped". It's always been a favorite episode of mine because the family is so deliciously psychotic. This is the last chapter for season 3. Next will come season 4 with some of my all-time favorite "perps": Nelda (gotta love a psychotic nurse!), John Tagman (Neil Patrick Harris at his creepy best), Doreen Whitlock (for the first time I felt revulsion and compassion for a mother who could murder her own children), and of course Annie's favorite serial killer, Nicole Wallace. __Not to mention the first introduction of Mike Logan to the Major Case Squad._

_Thanks as always to my beta, spook. And to all my e-mail buddies whose parental brains I picked for how Bobby should deal with his three mischievous children. I decided that Ally, Phillip, and Andrew have been entirely too well-behaved and the result is this chapter. Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. _

"Phillip! Get down from there now!" The voice that had intimidated hardened criminals seemed paltry and inadequate in the face of a seven-year old boy's determination to explore the books on the top shelf of a very tall bookcase.

"But Daddy, I want to see what books they have up there," Phillip said as he let go of his precarious perch with one hand and pointed to the top shelf.

"I said NOW!" Bobby's exasperated voice was joined by his imposing height as he stood up. Phillip sighed gustily and jumped the few feet to the ground.

"Ah, gee! It's boring here!" Bobby did not answer, he simply pointed to the sofa where Ally and Andrew were already sitting. But as Phillip headed across the visitor's lounge towards the sofa, Bobby heard another argument break out from that direction.

"Andrew, stop it! STOP! You're going to ruin it! Daddy! Andrew keeps messing up my picture!"

"I did not! Your picture is dumb! I just wanted to draw Sandy and make it better!"

"Both of you stop arguing right now. Andrew, leave Ally's picture alone; draw your own picture."

"Ha ha!" Ally sang smugly, receiving a warning scowl from her father.

"You can have your stupid old picture," Andrew muttered as Phillip threw himself into the corner of the sofa and folded his arms angrily across his chest.

Bobby sighed and sat back down next to his mother, shaking his head in annoyance. It was a cold February Sunday and he had brought the children to visit. But all three had been in bad moods since they woke up that morning. The hour and a half drive to Carmel Ridge had seemed even longer as the children argued and whined the entire time. Since arriving they had continued the arguments with one another and with their increasingly frustrated father.

"What is the matter with those children today?"

Bobby shook his head at his mother's question. "I don't know, Mom. Maybe they didn't get enough sleep last night. Or maybe they have been cooped up in the house too much this week. They've just been pills all day today."

"Seems to me they are acting out because they aren't getting enough attention from their mother. Maybe if your wife spent more time with her children and less time at that church of hers, they would be a little happier and calmer."

Bobby ran his hand over his face and sighed, frustrated now with his mother. "Your wife…" His mother hadn't said Annie's name in months, referring to her instead as "your wife". He very much wanted to tell her that the only reason "his wife" was working at the church's soup kitchen that day, rather than being with him and the kids, was because _she_ still refused to see Annie.

"You know that isn't true, Ma," he said, knowing that it was a mistake to argue with her. "Annie's a good mother and spends plenty of time with the kids. They're just having a bad day today."

"I know attention-seeking behavior when I see it," she said primly. "I had a couple children myself, if you remember correctly. But I didn't let outside commitments become more important than our family time."

Bobby resisted the urge to laugh, thinking of the frequent "commitments" to the mental hospital that had kept her away from home for a good portion of his childhood. He sighed again, knowing that arguing or pointing out the obvious flaws in her logic would do no good. He was almost relieved when Phillip's attempts to annoy Andrew by touching him with his foot finally erupted into a full-scale wrestling match and he went to break it up. But once he had pulled them apart, had a little talk with them about how to behave, made them sit back down on the sofa, and returned to his mother's side, he discovered with dismay that she was not done with her complaints.

"Frank came to see me yesterday. You know he still can't find a job. People just don't want to hire him because of his arrest. Something he has your wife to thank for."

"That's enough Mom," Bobby said firmly, looking meaningfully towards the children. Frances glanced over at them. The twins were oblivious to the adults' discussion; they were too busy trying to touch another without getting caught. Ally, however, was watching her father and her grandmother with a solemn expression. Frances smiled at her and gestured for her to come to her.

"Let me see your picture, Ally," Frances told her. Ally took her picture and climbed into the chair next to her grandmother. Bobby gave a sigh of relief that his mother had dropped the subject.

In the car later Ally asked, "Daddy, why doesn't Grandma like Mommy anymore?"

Bobby glanced at her in the rear view mirror; he didn't answer right away, pondering how to answer.

"Grandma still loves Mommy," he said slowly. "She's just mad at her right now. But she'll get over it. Sometimes people get angry, but they still love each other."

"Like you and Mommy get angry?"

Bobby looked at her again. "What do you mean, Ally?"

"You and Mommy talk in mad voices a lot. But you still love each other, right?"

Bobby swallowed. There had been a lot of arguments in the last few months but he hadn't realized that the children were aware of them.

"Yes, Sweetheart, Mommy and I still love each other."

They arrived at the library in time for "Family Story Time", which was geared towards school-age children. Bobby dropped Ally at the section for older children where today they were discussing "Harry Potter" and making wizard hats. The boys were happy to see that their favorite librarian, Miss Sarah, would be reading to them today. Since she didn't work every Sunday, it was sometimes another librarian who read to them. Bobby hoped that they would behave themselves here in the library. He sat down in a chair, with Phillip and Andrew at his feet. From the first words of the book, Miss Sarah had their complete attention.

"You look straight ahead. You try to breathe normally. You can smell the scent of the huge cat that is staring back. You are a cameraman. He is the King of Beasts. Your only thought is 'I hope he has already eaten today.'" (Face to Face With Lions by Dereck Joubert)

Bobby smiled at the animation she put into the reading. This was why she was a favorite. It seemed to him that Miss Sarah enjoyed Story Time just as much as the children did. When she was finished, there was silence in the room for a moment and then the children all descended on her with questions about the story and about where to find books on specific topics.

As he watched Sarah with the children, Bobby's investigator's eye noted that although she was smiling, there seemed to be an air of sadness about her today. He knew she was a widow; he and Annie had discussed how sadness seemed to envelope her after her husband's death. But in recent months she had seemed genuinely cheerful. He supposed grief had a way of coming back now and then when she least expected it. He would mention it to Annie tonight; he knew she would want to pray for her. As Phillip and Andrew ran off to find books to check out, Bobby got up to say hello to Sarah.

"Well, it's always nice to see one of my favorite families, the Gorens." She smiled up him. "Where is your wife today?"

"She's working in the church soup kitchen today. The kids and I went to visit my mother."

"The boys seemed a little antsy when they first came in. But they settled right down. You know, your kids really are well-behaved. And they genuinely love reading. A joy for any librarian," she laughed.

Bobby laughed with her. "Yes, they've been quite a handful today. But they always enjoy coming here and hearing you read. How are you? And how is Jia Li?"

"We're both fine; thank you for asking. I just can't believe how fast Jia Li is growing. It seems like yesterday that Tony and I got off the airplane with this tiny baby."

"They do grow much too fast," Bobby nodded in agreement. "Well, I guess I should go catch up with my group. Make sure they haven't started a fire or pulled a bookcase over."

Sarah laughed. "And I should get back to work. It was nice seeing you, again. Tell Annie I said hello. And would you give my uncle a message for me when you see him? Tell him that according to Mapquest this library is exactly 7.34 miles from 1 Police Plaza and takes about 17 minutes to drive, depending on traffic. And it has been much too long since he took his favorite niece out for lunch. Do you need to write this down?" She laughed again and Bobby chuckled with her.

"7.34 miles, 17 minutes. I'll remember."

Once they were home, Ally took her books up to her room while the twins spread their books on the kitchen table. They had chosen several books about lions, including the one that Sarah had read to them. With all three children quiet, not fighting, and occupied, Bobby took the opportunity to go downstairs to his office and go over a file he had brought home.

He and Eames were working on a frustrating case, the murder of a young musician. He had been having an affair with his psychiatrist and their interviews with her, her psychologist husband, and grade-school teacher daughter revealed a disturbingly dysfunctional family. Bobby became engrossed in reading the file and looking through several of his books on psychology and profiling. He lost track of time until he heard the sounds of children yelling from upstairs. Sighing, he closed the book and headed upstairs to see what the children were fighting about this time.

When he opened the basement door, the shouts of all three children and the barking of the dog hit him with force, as well as another sound he couldn't identify at first, a buzzing sound. He rounded the corner into the kitchen just in time to see Andrew pulling back his fist with the intention of punching Ally in the face.

"STOP!" His booming voice caused all three children to freeze and fall silent; even Sandy stopped barking. The only sound was the buzzing, which he now realized was coming from the electric hair trimmer in Ally's hand. In the few seconds before all three children began to simultaneously explain what happened, he took in the scene in the kitchen, unable to believe his eyes.

Soft, golden fur was scattered around the floor of the previously immaculate kitchen. Sandy, their dog, stood next to the kitchen table with the fur on her back shaved almost completely off. Ally was standing between the dog and her twin brothers, holding the buzzing hair trimmer in her hand. Phillip and Andrew were facing her. All three of them had furious expressions on their faces; a handful of dark curls were lying on the floor between them and Andrew had a swath of stubbly hair, just behind his left ear, through the dark curly hair that was so much like his father's.

After a brief moment of silence, they all began talking at once. "Daddy! Look what they did…." "Daddy! Look what Ally did….." "Daddy! Ally tried to…." Their frenzied voices caused Sandy to begin barking again.

"ENOUGH!" Again there was silence. "Sit!" Bobby pointed to the sofa in the living room. Three pairs of round eyes stared up at him and then they walked single file into the living room. As Ally passed, he held out his hand and she put the hair trimmer in it. He turned it off and set it on the table. In a gentler tone Bobby ordered Sandy, "Go lie down girl." She obediently went to her bed by the stove and lay down in it, resting her head on her front paws and looking up quizzically at her big master.

He went to the living room and stood looking down at the tops of one blond and two dark brown heads as all three children stared silently at their hands in their laps. Bobby sat down on the coffee table in front of the sofa and leaned his elbows on his knees.

"Alright," he said, trying to keep his voice calm, "Ally you go first."

"How come _she_ gets to go f.…?" Phillip's protests died on his lips as Bobby frowned at him wordlessly.

He looked back at Ally. "They were shaving Sandy! And Phillip was holding her head and Andrew was shaving her and I told them to stop and they said they didn't have to and I said I would tell and they said so? and I told them they were gonna get in trouble and they said no we won't and I told them to stop and they wouldn't so I made them."

"How did you make them?" Bobby asked. Ally looked down and didn't answer. Andrew was wiggling in his seat; he raised his hand but Bobby ignored him and asked again, "How did you make them stop, Ally?"

"I took the razor away," she said softly.

"And?" Bobby prompted.

"And…I…shaved Andrew's head," she whispered, tears beginning to fall.

Bobby crossed his arms and looked at the twins. Finally he acknowledged Andrew's waving arm. "Andrew?"

"Sh…she grabbed the razor," he said excitedly, "and she said 'See how _you_ like it' and she pulled my hair and she shaved it! See?!" He turned his head and pointed to the shaved area.

"And she tried to hit me!" Phillip added. "But she was too slow!" He stuck his tongue out at his sister and she returned the gesture.

"Stop!" Bobby ordered and they both looked sheepishly at him. "Why were you shaving the dog?"

"We wanted her to be a lion," Phillip said.

"A lion?"

"Yeah! Like in the book Miss Sarah read to us," Andrew offered. "We were going to make Sandy look like a lion and we were going to take pictures of her like in the book."

"You were being mean to Sandy! You are mean boys!" Ally's voice rose in indignation.

"Sandy liked it! You're the mean one! You tried to shave Andrew!"

Phillip reached over and gave Ally a push. She pushed back and all three children began yelling.

"That's enough!" Bobby stood up and they all looked up at him. Bobby was angry and frustrated. He decided he was not up to refereeing another fight today. "I want all of you in your rooms now! And do not talk to one another! Do not touch one another. I'm very angry with all of you right now. And I'm very disappointed in all of you. Upstairs now!"

They all headed for the stairs, crying now. Having their Daddy angry with them was heartbreaking. Having him _disappointed_ in them was more than they could bear, especially Ally. She wailed, "Daaaadeeee!" all the way up the stairs. He could still hear all of them crying from downstairs, even with the doors shut. Bobby sat down on the sofa with his elbows propped on his knees and put his head in his hands.

He was still sitting there when Annie came home ten minutes later. As she walked in the house she saw Bobby sitting forlornly on the couch and heard wailing coming from upstairs. She sat down on the coffee table and waited for Bobby to acknowledge her. He finally looked up at her with a beleaguered expression.

"What's going on?" she asked softly.

"They have been fighting and arguing and into everything all day long. Go look in the kitchen."

Annie leaned over and kissed his cheek, then walked into the kitchen. She stared at the mess on the floor. Sandy jumped up and ran over to her, whining to be petted.

"Oh Sandy! What have they done to you," she exclaimed, kneeling down and scratching the dog behind her ears. Sandy followed her back into the living room. "What happened? And do I see the twins' hair on the floor as well as Sandy's?"

Bobby sighed and leaned back, running a hand over the back of his head. "Sarah read a book about lions to them at the library today, so the boys decided to make Sandy look like a lion. Ally found them shaving the dog and got mad. She took the trimmer away and shaved a patch of Andrew's hair."

Annie looked at him in silence for a moment, and then she smiled and began to giggle. She tried to be quiet so the children wouldn't hear her, but the giggling fit was only getting worse. She buried her face in her hands and leaned over to put her head in Bobby's lap. Bobby crossed his arms over his chest and frowned down at her quaking blond head.

"It's not funny, Annie."

"I'm s..s…sorry," she said, sitting up and trying to gain control. Then a fresh burst of giggles erupted. "No I'm not! It _is_ funny!"

"It's not funny," he repeated. "These kids have been out of control all day."

"C'mon, Bobby! Shaving the dog? Shaving each other? It's hilarious!"

He didn't answer; he just continued to frown at her with his arms crossed. Annie's giggling subsided as she realized that he was angry and wasn't seeing the humor in the situation.

"Babe," she put her hand on his knee and looked up at him apologetically. "I can see that you had a bad day and I'm sorry. I know they are a handful sometimes. But you don't find this just a little funny?" She smiled up at him.

"No I don't. Someone could have gotten hurt. And frankly, I'm surprised that you aren't taking this more seriously."

She held his gaze for a moment and then asked softly, "What happened with your mother today?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? What did she say or do that has you in such a bad mood?"

"I told you, Mom is fine. It's the kids we are talking about. They have been fighting and getting into things all day. And this stunt they pulled could have been dangerous. Someone could have gotten hurt."

"But no one did. So we talk to them, give them consequences, and usually you and I would be laughing about it. Why are you taking this so seriously?"

"Maybe because you aren't," he said. "You're the nurse, the one usually so concerned with safety. Why aren't you concerned now? And for that matter, why was that hair trimmer even down where the kids could get to it?"

"What?"

"Why was the hair trimmer down where they could reach it? Why didn't you have it up in a cupboard where they couldn't reach it?"

She looked at him with an incredulous expression for a moment before answering.

"Are you blaming me for this?"

"I'm just saying that if the trimmer was put away where they couldn't reach it, maybe none of this would have happened."

"And where were you when it happened?" she asked, angry now.

"I was in my office."

"You must have been there a long time." She waved her hand towards Sandy, who was lying at their feet. "It took them a while to find the trimmer and to shave that much off of Sandy. And then more time for Ally to find them, get the trimmer from Andrew, and shave him. Maybe if you hadn't been so immersed in your research you would have realized your kids were getting into trouble."

"And maybe if you had been with us, none of this would have happened."

"That's not fair," she said softly. "You know that I wanted to be with you today. It's not my fault that your mother won't see me."

"It's not?" he asked quietly.

He knew he had scored a hit and saw the hurt flash across her face. She didn't answer; they sat for several moments just looking at one another. Then Ally's voice became louder as she opened her door and with a tearful voice called to him.

"Daadeee….can I come out now?"

"No," he called up to her. She renewed her wailing and closed the door. Bobby stood up and headed towards the stairs. "I need to go talk to them. Leave the kitchen; I'll have the kids clean it up."

"Do you want me to talk to…"

"No," he cut her off, "I'll handle it." He could feel her eyes on him as he went up the stairs.

Bobby went to talk to the boys first. As he walked by Ally's room he heard her in there, still crying. He found the boys sitting quietly on their beds. He explained to them how necessary a dog's fur is and that Sandy was going to have a hard time staying warm with hers shaved off. He also had a serious talk with them about hitting girls, especially their sister. He told Ally that she could have hurt her brother by trying to shave his head and discussed how her little brothers looked up to her and needed her to be a good role model. As each of his children cried in his arms and told him how sorry they were he thought how much he loved that his children had such tender hearts. Just like their mother, he realized with a stab of guilt over the stricken look on Annie's face earlier.

He ordered all of the children to apologize to one another. Consequences were meted out: for the next month there would be no allowances and no video games, instead their time would be spent on extra chores around the house. For tonight they were to clean the kitchen and take their baths so that they could go to bed immediately after dinner. Three subdued children preceded him down the stairs and greeted their mother. Annie was sitting on the couch reading, with Sandy lying at her feet. He glanced in the kitchen and noticed that the hair trimmer was missing from the table. The children told Annie about the consequences Daddy had given them and she nodded her head in agreement.

Looking at him over their heads Annie said hesitantly, "Maybe before they clean the kitchen, I should cut Andrew's hair and try to even it out?"

"You're right," he said softly. "That's a good idea. Look, I…ah…should go buy a doggie sweater for Sandy before she needs to go outside again. Do you mind…" He trailed off.

"I'll make sure they clean the kitchen and get started on their baths."

Bobby returned with the sweater for Sandy to find the kitchen was clean, Andrew was sporting a new buzz cut, all three of the children were bathed and sitting quietly on the couch reading, and Annie was in the kitchen preparing dinner. The evening passed quietly, with the children subdued while he and Annie spoke very little. After the children were in bed and the dinner dishes had been cleaned, he went down to his office while Annie curled up on the couch with a book.

She was in bed when he finally went upstairs. He stood for a moment and watched her sleep. With another twinge of guilt, he saw that there were dried tears on her cheeks. He sighed as he got into bed, trying not to disturb her. But she rolled over in her sleep and snuggled up against him, murmuring "Bobby" in her sleep. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

He thought about how much he loved the many different ways his name sounded on her lips; the questioning sound of her voice when she called to him to ask a question, the tinkling sound of laughter as she gasped his name while he tickled her or teased her, the husky, throaty sound she made when she moaned his name in the throes of passion, the drowsy way she called to him even in sleep, as she had just now. He also thought about the angry sound of his name coming from her when they were having an argument, something that seemed to be happening with increasing frequency.

He knew she was correct earlier; this was a situation that he would normally find very funny and the two of them would laugh together, trying not to let the children hear them. Why had he reacted with such anger? He supposed it was just the combined stress of visiting his mother and the children misbehaving at every opportunity all day. But he knew he was wrong to blame Annie for what happened, and wrong to blame her for his mother turning on her. Her hesitancy in suggesting that she cut Andrew's hair before sending the children to clean the kitchen sent another stab of guilt through him. It was rare that they were not on the same page when disciplining the children. This was a detail she would have normally pointed out to him when they discussed what consequences would be appropriate _before_ talking to the children.

He sighed and buried his face in her hair, breathing in the faint scent of lilac that always made him think of her. Annie never used perfume. She said that she had stopped using it in nursing school because she didn't want to walk into a room with a nauseous patient and have her scent cause him or her to throw up. But the body wash, lotion, shampoo, and conditioner that she used were all lilac-scented and it clung to her lightly, causing Bobby to always associate that scent with her.

Bobby had intended to apologize to Annie, but in the morning rush of getting ready for work and school he couldn't find a private moment to talk to her. Nor could he for the next two days as she was working and the case that he and Eames were working on heated up and consumed his time. But he noted that Annie seemed to have simply forgotten their argument. She spoke to him without anger, kissed him goodbye in the mornings, called him a few times during the day just to check in and to discuss child care and dinner arrangements.

On the morning of the third day after the dog-shaving incident, he and Eames finally broke the case they were working on; they had managed to get a confession from Camilla Barnes and arrested her for murdering her mother's patient/lover. As they headed back to the office to complete the paperwork, Bobby thought about this family. Camilla's psychiatrist mother and psychologist father had been playing a game of psychological warfare all of her life. It shouldn't have surprised them that their daughter had finally decided to enter the war herself, but with tragic results for the troubled musician who was also caught up in this "game". Even as he felt revulsion for Camilla's crime, he couldn't help also feeling compassion for the neglected little girl growing up in such a poisoned atmosphere.

He thought about Ron Carver's reaction to this case. "This family," he said, "makes me want to go home and kiss my wife."

As they finished the paperwork, Bobby realized that he had the same desire that Mr. Carver did; he wanted to kiss his wife, to hold his children, to remind himself that his family was healthy and happy. He leaned his forearms on his desk and looked across to Eames.

"I'm going to take the rest of the day off," he told her.

"OK," she said questioningly. "You know we have a couple of other cases…."

"I know, and I'll be back first thing in the morning. But there's something I need to do right now."

Alex frowned at the mischievous smile he flashed her. "What do you need to do right now?"

"I need to play hooky with my kids and my wife," he said with a chuckle. Alex looked at him incredulously as he got up and went to the captain's office to clear his time off. He changed into the extra pair of jeans and tee-shirt he kept at the office for times he and Eames went undercover, and then pulled on his coat.

Bobby checked his watch as the elevator descended. He knew that Annie wasn't working today, but would be at the church helping to serve lunch. If he hurried, he could pick up the kids from school and get to the church before she was too involved in serving. The school secretary gave him the same incredulous look that Eames had when he told her he was taking his children out of school for the rest of the day, and no, it was not a family emergency. The children were also surprised, but always eager for an "adventure" with their daddy.

They arrived at the church as the volunteers were setting up the tables. He watched from across the room as the children descended on a surprised Annie, telling her that Daddy said they were all "playing hooky" today. She smiled hesitantly at him as he walked over to her.

"But the lunch…I don't know….the others are expecting me…." She faltered as she looked up at him.

"Go ahead and leave, Annie," the pastor said, smiling as he walked up and greeted Bobby and the children. "We have plenty of volunteers today. Go play hooky with your family."

They took Annie's SUV and the children kept up a constant line of questioning about where they were going. But Bobby refused to answer, laughing at their many attempts to "break" him. As they pulled into the parking lot for Chelsea Piers, the yells of excitement inside the vehicle were almost deafening. Since it was now lunchtime, Bobby steered them to one of the many restaurants to eat before any activities.

Over lunch Ally asked, "Daddy, does this mean you aren't mad at us anymore?"

"No, Sweetheart, I'm not mad."

Phillip excitedly began, "So does that mean we don't…"

"No," his father cut him off with a laugh. "There are still consequences for what you did. You still forfeit your allowances and video games and still have extra chores. Today," he said, smiling across the table at Annie, "today is a reprieve."

After lunch he took them to the batting cages. All three of the children were involved in playing baseball; the boys were to graduate from T-Ball to Little League this year. They enjoyed hitting the balls and watching their father's accuracy with pitch after pitch. They all laughed at their mother's poor batting average, hitting only about one out of every five pitches. Engrossed in their own batting practice, they didn't pay attention when their father went to give their mother instruction on batting technique. It was just as well that they were distracted when Bobby stood behind Annie and put his arms around hers and his hands over hers on the bat. And it was just as well that they didn't notice their father whispering in their mother's ear, because whatever "instructions" he was giving her caused profuse blushing and laughter on her part but did not seem to improve her batting one iota.

After the batting cages, the boys wanted to go to the rock wall and climb. Annie begged off this activity, despite pleading from her children and her husband's promise not to let her fall. During Alex's pregnancy they had finally stopped the rock wall climbing on their trips to the gym, and Annie had yet to resume that activity and did not want to try it now.

"Besides," she said softly, making sure the children could not hear, "you know it turns me on to watch your muscles when you climb."

Bobby laughed and kissed her. As he climbed and kept a close watch on the children, he glanced back occasionally to see Annie sipping a soda and watching them. When the children had tired, he helped them down and sent them over to sit with their mother. With a grin he looked at her and then turned and climbed to the top of the 23 foot wall.

"Show off," she laughed when he had rappelled down and joined them.

"Can we go to the Sky Rink now?" Ally asked.

This time it was Bobby who said he would watch and resisted the children's begging. He told them that he preferred solid ground under his feet, not two thin blades on slippery ice. He chuckled when Annie promised she wouldn't let him fall, imagining his 5'5" wife trying to hold up his 6'4" frame.

He settled in a seat near the ice and watched Annie and the children skate. He laughed at the boys' antics, neither of them minding the number of times their rear ends met with the ice. He was struck once again by how much Ally looked like her mother, and especially how graceful the two of them were on the ice. He rested his chin on top of his fists resting on the railing. Annie's laughter rang out and filled him with a warm feeling of well-being. While the children played tag, she skated over to where he was sitting. He stood as she came to the opening in the railing leading to where he was sitting.

Her face was flushed with the cold, the exertion, and the laughter that was still bubbling up from her. He leaned down to kiss her and she reached her arms around his waist. She squealed as her skates slipped and almost slid out from under her. He grabbed her and pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her as she tightened her grip around his waist.

"Don't worry," he whispered in her ear. "I won't let you fall."

He helped her step up off the rink and led her to where he had been sitting. They sat holding hands and watched the children. Ally was trying to teach Phillip and Andrew how to skate a figure eight. Bobby let go of her hand and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"For what?" Bobby looked back over his shoulder, surprised that she seemed to be genuinely unaware of what he had to apologize for.

"For being a jerk the other day."

Annie smiled and said, "Bobby…" There it was again; the soft warmth in her voice as she said his name. "You are no jerk."

Still looking at her over his shoulder he asked, "How do you do that? How do you forgive so easily and quickly? Is it your religion?"

Her face lit up as she leaned forward and planted a kiss on his shoulder before answering.

"It is my religion in part. God has forgiven me, and keeps forgiving me, for so much. How can I not forgive others?"

He thought to himself that there couldn't be much for God to forgive her for, but he didn't say it. He knew she would only protest and this wasn't the time or place for a theological discussion on the nature of sin.

Instead he asked, "If religion is part of it, then what's the other part?"

Now she laughed and linked her arm through his. "Well, because you are so hot, of course! No woman in her right mind could resist forgiving a hunk like my husband."

Now Bobby laughed too. He leaned back and put his arm around her, pulling her close. "You were right, you know."

"About what?"

"About the dog-shaving incident. It was funny." He smiled down at her. "Actually, it was freakin' hilarious!" They both began to laugh and Bobby continued. "You should have seen it! I walked into the kitchen and there was all this fur and hair and Andrew was about to hit Ally. When I yelled 'Stop!', everyone froze and it was completely silent. Sandy was wagging her tail and that literally caused the 'fur to fly'. There were all these tufts of fur flying around the room. But I think before Ally got there and started the fighting, Sandy had just been sitting there quietly, letting the boys do whatever they wanted."

"I was so shocked when you told me to look at the kitchen and there was this mess, and I could see that there was dark hair lying on the floor along with Sandy's fur. And poor Sandy! She looked so forlorn, like she was embarrassed to be seen with her fur shaved off!"

"Maybe we should sue Miss Sarah and the New York Public Library for damages since they introduced such dangerous ideas to impressionable children."

They both laughed for several minutes. He lowered his head to hers and kissed her. They were interrupted by three voices calling to them from the railing.

"Mommy!" Ally called, "I can't teach Phillip and Andrew to do figure eights. Will you come teach them?"

He released her and she got up to go back out on the ice. He sat back and watched her instruct the boys and then lead all three of the children through figure eights. They followed her single file, looking like three ducklings following the mother duck. As he watched his family, Mr. Carver's words about the Barnes family came back to him.

"This family makes me want to kiss my wife."

He would kiss his wife, he decided. After stopping for pizza for dinner on the way home, after the children were in bed, when they were alone in their bedroom. He would kiss his wife and then he would make love to her. Afterwards he would lie in the dark with her wrapped in his arms. He would remember then how thankful he was to the God that his beautiful wife loved so much for bringing this extraordinary woman and three incredible children into his life.

**End Season 3**

18


End file.
